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Didi Damin meets Borrock Sobama!

Damin wiped his face and toothpick in hand,
Looked around the room and stared at one person,
A man of about forty, tall dark and handsome,
Summoned a waiter and told him very curtly,
“Tell that man over there to come here immediately”,
Causing the waiter to scurry across the floor,
Then whisper something in the dark man's ear,
Which made him smile and nod in assent,
And walk over to be in the dictator's presence.
The waiter introduced him with not a little drama,
“Allow me to present Senator Borrock Sobama!”

from "The Adventures of George" https://www.macdonrod.com

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THIS SPAM IS ALLOWED TO STAND ONLY BECAUSE OF THE EXCELLENT COMMENTS BY OUR MEMBERS BELOW.
- Red Square

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Comrade Macdon, simply creating threads containing excerpts of your book along with a link to your website smacks of spamming. You've done that twice now on the same day you joined.

The Cube is a place to post political satire that mocks Socialism and invites positive comment from the readers, not a free advertising venue.

Please get with the program or I or some other member of the Inner Party will be forced to make your posts disappear.


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Oh, no. Macdon has self-published via the wonders of Wordclay! Upload your opus for instant glory! Sell copies out of the back end of your mother's Pinto! Impress your friends! Annoy strangers! Get your relatives off your back! This holiday season, be as popular as Claxton fruitcake and give the gift that's sure to be regifted again and again!

Comrade Macdon, you're only one rung up from standing on a weed-choked median with a crudely lettered cardboard sign that reads, “Have cancer, three kids, please publish my book.”

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Pinkie, in all fairness, because that's what Socialism is all about, from what I've heard publishers do little or nothing to market a book once they agree to publish it. It's largely up to the writer to promote their book.

This came as a shock to me. I assumed that since the publisher had a vested interest in the book they would do more to arrange book signings and media interviews for the author.

That said I wonder why anyone ever bothers shopping their book around publishing houses anymore (other than for the prestige factor which subsidy publishers lack).

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Comrade macdon35,

One of the arbitrary rules here, thou shalt not pimp they wares in the cube without the blessing of Red Square.

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Comrade Whoopie wrote:Pinkie, in all fairness, because that's what Socialism is all about, from what I've heard publishers do little or nothing to market a book once they agree to publish it. It's largely up to the writer to promote their book.

This came as a shock to me. I assumed that since the publisher had a vested interest in the book they would do more to arrange book signings and media interviews for the author.

That said I wonder why anyone ever bothers shopping their book around publishing houses anymore (other than for the prestige factor which subsidy publishers lack).

Because, my dear Whoopie, those evil capitalist publishing houses will not only pay you an advance against royalties, but they pick up the tab for other services that go into the publishing and distribution of the book, to include registration of the copyright. Smaller publishing houses, in particular e-pubs which are becoming the new wave, may not pay advances, but they make up for it with bigger royalties to the author.

With subsidy publishers, the author pays the publisher and is lucky to make any kind of profit. But at least he/she can say they've been published. That's why subsidy presses are also known as “vanity presses.”

It's true the evil capitalist publishers generally won't pay for any marketing or promotion, except, ironically, for big name NYT bestsellers who hardly need it. OTOH, they will never charge you for things like copy-editing, an ISBN (the idea of THAT comes as a shock to ME), or to get it into bookstores other than their own website. Comrade Macdon will have to shell out additional bucks for all that stuff (referred to as “service upgrades” on the Wordclay website), that a certain bodice ripper you know and fear got for free from an evil NY publishing house—and that's on top of what Macdon has to pay out of his own pocket for promotion/marketing—unless he pays for THAT “service upgrade” from Wordclay as well. From the looks of his website and the fact that he's spammed here, I'm guessing he either hasn't, or isn't getting his money's worth.

I notice on their website they charge three cents a word for copy-editing. Ten words = 30 cents. 100 words = $3.00. 1,000 words = $30.00. My math could be wrong here; I'm doing it off the top of my head and I'm no mathematician. So I'm cringing to think how much they would charge for, oh, let's say, a mass market paperback romance novel of approximately 100,000 words. Correct me if I'm wrong, but are we talking $3,000 just to copy edit a 100k word novel?

But if a person has the wherewithal for DIY publishing and the talent for marketing/self-promotion, then more power to them. To be fair, it's probably a very nice thing indeed if you want to share a compilation of family recipes/history with other family members, in which case you'd have no need to pay for all the aformentioned "extras" the DIY pub provides. The same might go for one's collection of poetry, which would appear to best describe Macdon's work.

All of this is just my own personal opinion, which I'll readily confess has been influenced by years of association with others of similar vocation.

Image Image Image

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My sister and brother in law got it in their heads a few years back that they wanted to produce movies but when they saw the utter crap scripts that people sent them they decided it wasn't worth it.

Whole lotta garbage out there. If you don't have the discipline to make a commercially viable product out of your idea, living on hope isn't going to do anything except cost you money.

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Comrade Tooorisky wrote:Comrade macdon35,

One of the arbitrary rules here, thou shalt not pimp they wares in the cube without the blessing of Red Square.

Don't look at me. I just does em for free er the collective

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Many thanks Pinkie for explaining the in's and out's of the publishing world...I had no idea.

I had better get cracking on my autobiography before the cost goes up.

monkey-typing.jpg

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Groucho Marxist wrote:
Comrade Tooorisky wrote:Comrade macdon35,

One of the arbitrary rules here, thou shalt not pimp they wares in the cube without the blessing of Red Square.

Don't look at me. I just does em for free er the collective
Comrade Graucho,You must have the blessing from on high. This effort by this comrade represents the "Jack the Ripper approach to sales", it could also be called the "Pooping dog" close.

Thanks for the feedback but George has a dream! (no website address shown)

Eyes closed George pondered on what he'd seen,
He could only guess at what it might mean,
Sobama and Damin in close conversation,
It certainly was an intriguing combination.
Drowsily the pictures in his mind began to blur,
Then slowly taking shape they began to re-emerge.
A small square room, with a wooden cot
On which George lay, and getting up
He looked around and to his great surprise
Found there were steel bars on every side,
Except for the rear wall, which was made of cement,
And covered with graffiti and excrement.
I'm locked up in a cell, but who put me here,
George asked himself, and the answer became clear
When the Sherriff walked up in western garb,
With spurs a-jangling, and a silver star
Pinned to his chest, and a gun on his hip,
But on looking more closely George saw that it
Was no ordinary Sherriff that he looked at,
But was the Mere Leader himself in a ten gallon hat!.

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Po-8-tree from afar.

And I haven't even had my first cup of coffee yet !( I gave some consideration a few years back of publishing my locally famous " There once was a Girl from Nantucket........ " limerick series. Sophisticated stuff.)

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macdon35 wrote:Thanks for the feedback but George has a dream!

Pinkie has a dream, too:

Commissarka Pinkie sleeps,
And dreams of whacking spammer creeps
With her shovel made of gold,
That makes most comrades' blood run cold.
All but Macdon35,
Who thinks that he will stay alive
By posting his pathetic verse,
Certain that she's read much worse.
He hopes anon she'll bite the hook,
Be dumb enough to buy his book.
But she intends to wait and see
If he will show it all for free.
For if he keeps returning here,
With more excerpts to endless jeers,
Soon we'll read his whole damn work
Without a cent to the desperate jerk.
But it only takes one bite of beet,
To know if it's not fit to eat.
So we may tire of him ere then,
And I will do what scares all men:
I'll whack this bargain basement bard,
Reduce his skull to mushy lard
With my shovel upside his head,
Until he wishes to be dead.
He'll crawl away upon all fours;
With any luck, he'll spam no more. Pinkie, your prose is fantastically beautiful. L'n'T
Last edited by Lenin 'n' Things on 5/2/2011, 4:28 am, edited 1 time in total.
Reason for editing this post: Paying homage to my Cube idol...duh.

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Here at Halliburton Publishing Group we've been looking for good conservative books that promote our heritage of international corporate hegemony and class war. If Mr. Macdon35 would be willing to sell his soul and make some small changes to the text for an advance on royalties perhaps we could arrange something.

What we need for the Christmas season is an illustrated children's book to compete with Why Mommy is a Democrat, which is of course loved by children everywhere. It's stiff competition and is taking money away from Halliburton Publishing Group sales. Would Mr. Macdon35 be willing to sell his soul to the good cause of teaching children the virtues of imperialism and would he be willing to dress up in a squirrel suit?

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I'm glad I didn't delete this topic! It's becoming one of the most informative and aesthetically pleasing threads.

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Indeed comrade Director. Watching the Collective take out their pent up aggression on this bourgeois scribbler who stumbled into our midst is refreshing. It's like a show trial without all the legalistic pretense. Consider it Social Justice™ by angry mob.

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Why do I have this sudden urge to go hit a bucket of balls in Scotland and I don't even golf?

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Red Square wrote:....aesthetically pleasing threads.

???????? Is it Boehner comrade? Huh?
Must go to Jiffi Lobo right away!
WHERE THE HELL IS MY ELEPHANT GUN!?!
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Stray bullets.... hit the flo... I don't want none of that ho... get wid dis, I'm breaking out in hives... my name is macdon35.

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" Bourgeois Scribbler " ?

Now that is poetry !

Well, well, well, I see that my postings have elicited some interesting but mostly irrelevant responses. But never mind - here is a further enjoyable episode to whet the appetites of your esteemed and erudite members. (courtesy of the Chinese cook)

“Yes,” said he, “foreigners once tried to take
Our cuisine for themselves and to make
Others believe it was theirs by right,
That it was theirs forever, and that they might
Do to it whatever they wanted
When, in fact, it was only rented,
To give them a chance to learn something new
From the Chinese Cordon Bleu.
“Not so”, said the lady “you are being uncouth
Because of your economy with the truth.
You know very well that there was a treaty
Which ceded a part in perpetuity,
The words were written, they were exact,
So all who could read would know the facts.
So these good people you mustn't deceive
With such silly stories of make-believe!”

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Macdon, your talents are totally wasted and unappreciated here. Someone of your unique gifts deserves a wider, more diverse audience.

Therefore, I suggest you try the wall of a public restroom. In fact, I'll bet you could even get an NEA grant for it.

Trust me, it's more money than you'll ever make doing it this way.

User avatar
From whence comes the rhythmless screed
displayed for our Comrades to read?
Some Poetry writ
by Cowboys that git
some pork from our dear Harry Reid?


But yet as I join throwing stones
I"ve probably elicited groans
from comrades annoyed
by links I've deployed
believing their relevance shown.


So, what for such linking should be
the test for act to be seen
as dunk for a slam
not rim-shotted spam?
Perhaps it shoud "relevance" be.



By "relevance" what do I mean
for links to as proper be deemed?
The test I'd prefer
is whether it serves
a goal of the Cube being seen.




--KOOK

User avatar
Commissarka Pinkie wrote:
macdon35 wrote:Thanks for the feedback but George has a dream!

Pinkie has a dream, too:

Commissarka Pinkie sleeps,
And dreams of whacking spammer creeps
With her shovel made of gold,
That makes most comrades' blood run cold.
All but Macdon35,
Who thinks that he will stay alive
By posting his pathetic verse,
Certain that she's read much worse.
He hopes anon she'll bite the hook,
Be dumb enough to buy his book.
But she intends to wait and see
If he will show it all for free.
For if he keeps returning here,
With more excerpts to endless jeers,
Soon we'll read his whole damn work
Without a cent to the desperate jerk.
But it only takes one bite of beet,
To know if it's not fit to eat.
So we may tire of him ere then,
And I will do what scares all men:
I'll whack this bargain basement bard,
Reduce his skull to mushy lard
With my shovel upside his head,
Until he wishes to be dead.
He'll crawl away upon all fours;
With any luck, he'll spam no more.

Comrade Pinkie

I laughed. I cried. I barfed.

You are right up there with Marx and Engels.

I salute you!

Amandla!

Obamugabe

User avatar
Pinkie is her own Abraham "Brom Bones" van Brunt.
El Ichabod Crane never stood a chance.

User avatar
Comrade Macdon:

Write to the NEA and tell them you want to beautify our nation's public restrooms by adorning their walls with your poetry.

People like to have something to read while sitting on the toilet, especially if they're going to be sitting there for a long time. Like toilet paper, newspapers and magazines kill trees and are bad for the planet. They also tend to wear into tatters after only a few people have used them (especially the toilet paper). Writing your poetry on the wall will not only save millions of trees, but can be read over and over by an infinite number of people!

You want to beautify every public restroom in all 57 states, so in addition to funding for a crate of Sharpies, you'll also need funds for traveling. This includes not only transportation, but meals and lodging, and something left over to buy offsets for your carbon footprint.

Forget the free market, Macdon! Throw up the tailgate on your mom's Ford Pinto station wagon, and let yourself be chased out of the Barnes & Noble parking lot by its fist-shaking irate manager for the last time!

Worry no more about pesky annoyances like marketability and those mean-spirited P&L reports that only make you want to consider sticking to your day job! Corporate America will cruelly kick you to the curb like the garbage your work is if not enough people—and we're talking a totally unreasonable amount, like millions—don't buy it.

Ah, but the Government! The Government will continue cutting you checks forever, even if NO ONE—not even your mother, who wants her Pinto back so she can go to the beauty parlor to get her roots done and her Brazilian wax before heading to her bridge game—ever shows the slightest interest in your work.

Yes, Macdon, with a grant from the Government, you're guaranteed a never-ending source of income that allows you to continue practicing your art, no matter how unsuccessful, unpopular, and universally reviled it is!

But you'd better hurry and apply today, before the Republican-controlled House tries to cut the NEA from the next budget. And they'd do it, too, Macdon—just to keep your mother from making her beauty appointment. They'd rather see her walk there, and risk getting run over by a bus just so they could say public transportation is unsafe so they should slash funding for that, too!

And that's why you should add in your request that failure to fund your project will result in the deaths of millions of old people.

Now get cracking, and don't come back here till you have the grant.

User avatar
Well, if the chinese want their food back, fine. Hey macdon35, step right on over here and cup your hands - I'll give back the chinese food I had for lunch. Hope you're not wearing your good shoes.


 
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