I wanted to tell you great news. Did you know that if you are disabled the government will provide you with a FREE™ telephone line (paid for by the evil REICHWING rich)? Here is the story of how I learned this most glorious news...
Someone I know lost their land based phone line due to a thunderstorm (obviously caused by global warming™/climate change™/global cooling™/melting polar ice caps™/dying polar bears™). The damaged portion was a major line going to a telephone substation. They have been out for days. Now, dear comrades, I must tell you that this is all the fault of the CAPITALIST company that owns these lines, including the storm itself. If this was all done by the government, well, we know how efficiently it would have been solved
So, the company has been dragging their heals for days.
I think this is a bit much as they live in a metropolitan area.
This person is disabled, does not have a cell phone, and needs a phone line that works. Using someone else's cell phone, the individual contacted the glorious people's public service commission in the state. The public service commission told this person to just go to a competitor of the EVIL CAPITALIST company. Well, of course since the line itself is bad and likely the competitors use the same line, that does not help. But regardless, it is wonderful that the people's public service commission was willing to give advice
However, when the people's public service commission learned that the caller was disabled, why, a number of gameshow style dings went off. The people's public service commission told this person that they would be awarded and were ENTITLED to a FREE phone line just for being disabled! Fellow Comrades, I cannot tell you how delighted I am that this person won a lifetime free phone line! Why isn't that just wonderful? And it's free too! Our great people's collective just provides these things for free!
But alas, this very misguided person told the people's public service commission that a free phone line would not be accepted. The person actually believed in PAYING for things! So, the public service commission bureaucrat said she was required to inform disabled people that they were entitled to a free phone line. What is the matter with this person, fellow comrades? We are supposed to depend on Dear Leader for everything and be good little progs. Why can't we just make the evil rich pay for the free phone line? In fact, why is it limited to just the disabled? Shouldn't a free phone line be a new HUMAN RIGHT™ ? Shouldn't we have this be a right because of the
Like Lenin's Linen, you've covered it, but I just want to underscore your point by reminding all unthinking proles why it's so important for every prole to have a government-approved cell-phone:
One can never know in advance when it's vitally important to receive a message from Fearless Leader.
I couldn't help but notice your surroundings.
That is a very nice house behind you, is it not ?
And look..... a paved street with sidewalks and a late model American car.
Finish this picture with someone who is apparently you casually conversing on a personal cell phone, while tossing a polished-off bottle of Stoli into user-friendly trash receptacles.
This reeks of CAPITALISM, tovarich !
Not even factory managers have this type of decadent lifestyle.
So, as a piece of advise to you, start readying your defense to explain
all of this to the Collective at your rapidly approaching show trail, " Comrade " !
Comrade Vlad LinenThe people's public service commission told this person that they would be awarded and were ENTITLED to a FREE phone line just for being disabled! Fellow Comrades, I cannot tell you how delighted I am that this person won a lifetime free phone line! Why isn't that just wonderful? And it's free too! Our great people's collective just provides these things for free!
And such exemplary service!
Col. Klink, my new aide, has not had much luck either.
Major Mistake is now the officer in charge "commode commandos" at the 82nd Airborne Division.