We are shocked to announce this fact-checked and Goodnews™ approved information.
It appears those sleazy Russians know no boundaries when it comes to undermining democracy™. Forget all you think you know about the last elections in the USA because... Donald Trump - the so-called president elect - DOES NOT EXIST!
In fact, the image of DJT as we know it is a remarkable holographic feat by the large group of Russian hackers that have infiltrated the USA. Some of our more credible Goodnews™ sources even suggest this holograph is built around the very person of Vladimir Putin himself, whose movements are analyzed through CGI technology and then transferred to the "DJT" holograph. Others suggest the "DJT" hologram is based on movements by Andy Serkis (known to be a model for the computer rendered character "Gollum" in the LOTR franchise).
This will end all discussions about the election results. Since Donald Trump does not exist, the imperial throne belongs to Hillary Clinton.
To end on another positive note, this new Russian live CGI holography opens up new possibilities in the movie industry, where many actors can now be replaced by Somalian refugees with a CGI-hologram of a famous actor projected around them.
Whether this will aggravate the current exodus of celebrities to Canada following the downfall of the Democratic party is yet unknown.
(or is it... ? maybe I'm just CGI?.... you'll never know! Mwa-hahahaha!)
Himmelherrgott, so could it be that the whole "Amerikkka" is just a hologram???
Generated (and continuously emited!), since at least the October Revolution 1917?
Just to have a token "Enemy" to constantly "focus" on, and thereby keep the Kollektive in fear?
A phantom to perpetually "fight" against (for Peace, of course)?
Making Comintern "proud" of its "moral high ground"?
(and also providing an excuse for misery and shortages - you see, we must steadily build our Peace-enforcing machine!)
But as I see, right before me, with my non-lying eyes, a cutely cat in an iron cap (from the epoch of Charles "The Hammer" Martel, no less), then I feel totally, like, again a non-holographical Marxist-Leninist, and reconquistador of reconstructivist Kubism.
Genosse Dummkopf _(here)... [the Russian hackers] also implanted a [Remote Control] thingy somehow "around(?)" Ma'am Inevitable. And thence all those bobbing head events, wild-eyed episodes, meltdowns, and ‒ last not least ‒ acoustic speedups, "Now-having-said-all-this"‒style ...
Comrade Minitrue - Eureka!
Your disclosure of the heinous technique behind, nay, around TRUMP ‒ as a mere hologram, and at that one with Vladimir P inside, as the core ‒ leads to a 97% consensus concerning the nature of the abovementioned .thingy installed "around(?)" Ma'am Inevitable..
It’s now obvious : hologram.
Around HRC there is this spasmic bobblehead caricature, while inside, trapped by fluids of Russian hackery, is the real persona ‒ the Experienced One, the Passionately Caring, the Fighter for Superior Equality of Non-Crackaz, the Stradivari of Diplomacy, the Energetic Accoucheur of Glorious Future.
Glory to . . . _uh, now I’m confused . . . . .
um, glory to Whom, exactly? the Holography? Her Inevitableness? Vladimir P’s Hacktroops?
nu, vsyo ravno, let’s make it : Glory to Guaranteed Nonholographic Cute Cats in Iron Caps!
... vsyo ravno ... to which YT responds :
Genosse Dummkopf _(here)... (and, Comrades ‒ using beloved Math, I indeed simplified even the Polish People's Cube!
will not publish that research, as it kind of takes the edge out of the Kube ‒ see what I mean?)
whereupon Comrade Ivan "Lord Of The Tractors" Stakhanovets
boldly ‒ and 120% norm korrektly ‒ hypothesized :
Ivan the Stakhanovets_(responded)... I'll bet it's round. Or shaped like an egg...yep!
if you radiate pi-fluids onto a Kube long enough ‒ say, for 3.14 seconds ‒ it becomes a Sphere.
And now ‒ most elevated Comrade "Brussels Kubicle" Minitrue visualizes!
Of course ‒ Marxism-Leninism forbid! ‒ never to be presented as "Kube".
But as a most progressively brainwashing Eurocracy-logo?
Yu haff vays, Komrade Minitrue, really...
Happy Marxmas, too ‒ with Dyed Maroz, of course!