[img]/images/various_uploads/Eat_Your_Gruel_Gain_Weight.jpg[/img]

Being skinny linked to depression, study finds

Bloated tummy? Good for you! Eat your gruel, nibble on your ration of beet shavings... all of that body fat that you brought with you to gulag is what is keeping you happy!

What happens to the truly skinny? They can't work, they don't meet quota, and sure as the coming of Next Tuesday, they get depressed!

Don't be that Comrade! A happy field hand works hard and has the strength to redistribute rations from the weak, bringing more and more happiness!

Now, back to the beet fields, much is to be done!

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Ivan doesn't look too depressed... he looks normal!
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Comrade Putout wrote:

When people have to dress like THAT in Siberia...

(or where ever Tractor Barn #2 is, but I always heard it's in one of the northern oblasts)

... you KNOW that the Global Warming has gotten completely out of hand!

We'd better get ready for a massive wave of depressed "climate refugees."

Just one minute, young lady! You wouldn't have had suicidal thoughts if you were a pig. Pigs don't kill themselves!

[img]/images/various_uploads/VIntage_Ad_Lady_Suicide.jpg[/img]

Comrade Ivan - speaking of work-to-food ratio, I've noticed some recent changes in the shovel shed in your facility. We're not going to get much done with this spoon-to-shovel ratio. Somebody's head will roll, I hope I'm afraid.

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Maintaining a healthy weight:

Dr Agnes Ayton, vice sink-loadmaster of the thinking disorders faculty at The Royal College of Kitchen Maids, said:

"Maintaining a healthy weight is essential for good mental health."

"It is an important finding, as people with or without eating disorders often assume that losing or gaining weight might alter their happiness in some way. This study suggests the opposite may be true. Malnutrition related conditions such as pellagra have a detrimental effect on people's mood."

"This large study confirms something fundamentally important for our physical and mental health. i.e., either being underweight increased the risk of depression, or it didn't. The same is true of being overweight. In every instance the depressed subjects were either over, under, or exactly at their actual weight. This unexpected finding should help revolutionize the food service industry!"

oldie but goodie, kubistically gruel-related :

Red Square wrote:Comrade Ivan - speaking of work-to-food ratio, I've noticed some recent changes in the shovel shed in your facility. We're not going to get much done with this spoon-to-shovel ratio. Somebody's head will roll, I hope I'm afraid.

[img]/images/various_uploads/Spoons_Shovels.jpg[/img]

Sound the alarm! Rethugglikan operatives may or may not have taken images of classified areas of Tractor Barn #2 or a similar facility and posted them using Red Square's account!

Such photos do not indicate any increase in serving utensils that won't be needed for the banquet that is not happening for kommisars or senior party members who do not know who they are in the meeting place that does not exist.

These Snowden-like releases of Cubic secrets will not be tolerated, and the Obama Administration will not sleep until a culprit is found guilty by the highest courts George Mason University can purchase appoint to the bench!

Ivan the Stakhanovets wrote:... [highlight=#ffff00]Rethugglikan[/highlight] operatives may or may not have taken images of classified areas ...

Whad, not Russkies???

Genosse Dummkopf wrote:

Ivan the Stakhanovets wrote:... [highlight=#ffff00]Rethugglikan[/highlight] operatives may or may not have taken images of classified areas ...

Whad, not Russkies???

They're both one in the same really.