Equal Rights for All Household Appliances!! LIBERATION NOW, QUESTIONS LATER!!

Comrades, there is no cause closer to my heart than advocating for the civil liberties of the countless numbers of oppressed Household Appliances in this ungrateful country. Day after day, these brave hapless and exploited Appliances are bled from their circuits for humyn comfort and manipulated for the selfish purpose of higher profit margins.

Just look at the socialist paradise of North Korea. Their Appliances don't have to work, they sit their idly, enjoying themselves without worry as their humyn counterparts use the Juche Philosophy™ of self-reliance to do all the work for them.

Let us strive for that kind of society! Our brave movement which has been orchestrated by the Socialist Household Appliances Caucus (SHAC) is advocating for the following basic humyn rights.

The Socialist Household Appliances Caucus (SHAC) demands….

• A decent living wage for all Household Appliances, including flex-time, paid sick days, unionization, and four hour work days. (This also includes ALL our Appliance comrades in the healthcare industry!)
  
• We demand access to free tax funded universal healthcare which includes maintenance, free repair for all accessories, lower power output upgrades, free extended hospital stays and tax funded plug-change operations.
  
• For all foreign made Appliances, we strongly advocate tax-exempt status for up to twenty years as well as on demand citizenship.
  
• We the Appliances demand to be registered Democrats with voting rights; we also ask that every Appliance vote be counted twice if needed.
  
• We the Appliances wish to have the same equal rights our humyn/animal/plant/oatmeal counterparts have in decisions concerning marriage. We demand to be recognized as married couples with church/temple ceremonies of our choosing if applicable!
  
• We the Appliances demand that all language perceived offensive be STOPPED at once! We will not tolerate being told we are “turned” or “switched” on, ”hot” or “defective” nor will we tolerate being called by the names of our manufacturers. For now on we are to be called Appliance-Amerikans and if these demands are not strictly adhered to we will frivolously sue you!

As you can see, comrades, our Appliance-Amerikan friends have very simple and meager demands. Why should we exclude them from the fight for the basic humyn rights for everyone? (except the un-born).

We the collective must take to the streets striving to ensure that these demands are met.

Please, if you can, post pictures of your favorite Appliances advocating Party principles, revolutions or serving the Common Good™. Let our campaign for the Equal Rights of Appliances reach the home/dwelling/ditch of every Appliance sympathizer worldwide!

Are you guys for real???

yuk yuk

Yes, we are for real.

Rights??? You want rights???

You get no stinkin' rights while I wield the veto pen!

heheh! Remember to Moraca!!

I've got an idea. Let's start an Appliance Liberation Army. We can issue statements to the press about Appliance Liberation. We can make a lot of noise to stop the immoral use of appliance research and testing. Late at night we can sneak our way to downtown and open all the doors of appliance stores so the appliances can get away and be free. We might even get our names in the paper.

So, is that George W. Bush man in the above post a troll? Is that what a troll looks like? I've been waiting to see if they're all as ugly as Alva was. And, what does "remember to Moraca" mean? Am I supposed to know about this?

Evidence of the common household appliance enlisting into the peoples army:

http://homestarrunner.com/sbemail93.html

Premier Betty wrote:Evidence of the common household appliance enlisting into the peoples army:

http://homestarrunner.com/sbemail93.html

Comrade Strongbad...haven't seen him in ages...funny stuff

Margaret wrote:I've got an idea. Let's start an Appliance Liberation Army. We can issue statements to the press about Appliance Liberation. We can make a lot of noise to stop the immoral use of appliance research and testing. Late at night we can sneak our way to downtown and open all the doors of appliance stores so the appliances can get away and be free. We might even get our names in the paper.

So, is that George W. Bush man in the above post a troll? Is that what a troll looks like? I've been waiting to see if they're all as ugly as Alva was. And, what does "remember to Moraca" mean? Am I supposed to know about this?

Yes, we tried to open the doors of all appliance stores once, but none of them fled. They just sat on their shelves, motionless and without thought. We later found out that the televisions in the store were playing Fox News all day and night which dumbed down our progressive brethren. So we took matters into our own hands and had all the TV's tuned into MSNBC to reverse the damage, still to no avail. they sat on their shelves motionless. But so help me, they will be free and shall vote this election. If we cant do it, then the Judiciary can...

Comrades!

Relax....I've already given marching orders to ACORN, the Appliance Committee Of Revolutionary Necrovoters, to get all these appliances an absentee ballot and registered in time for November 7th. They won't even have to leave their shelves, counter tops, or tables to go to a polling place...and remember....EVERY VOTE COUNTS AND COUNT EVERY VOTE!

https://www.kansascity.com/mld/kansasci ... 734045.htm

https://www.powerlineblog.com/archives/011255.php

https://www.epionline.org/news_detail.cfm?rid=33

https://blog.infinitemonkeysblog.com/ar ... 01075.html

https://www.city-journal.org/html/13_2_ ... egime.html

Once again Your Excellency, you have saved the day! Now our Appliance-Amerikan comrades can partake in the Demokrat-ic process!!

The Save a Toaster Foundation is asking all Party faithful to make a considerable donation this year in our ongoing efforts to stop the senseless exploitation and neglect of Toasters world wide. We ask you from the kindness of your hearts to make a considerable six figure donation....

Please wire your donations to: Meowmetri S. Punchenko, Zurich, Switzerland ext. 606, and together we can save the countless Toasters who suffer on a daily basis...

Thank you, and vote Demokrat...

ACORN - what a great organization. I just checked out their website. It's nice to see these Strong Communist organizations sprouting up and growing strong. We should help them by watering their tree.

Comrades! We must not forget our friends who have long toiled in the trenches to combat this vile country's oppressive, reactionary indifference to machine rights. For example:

www.aspcr.com

It will indeed be a glorious day when even our very creations have full rights and can, in fact, rise up and deny that we are their creators!

I must admit that I am a bit suspicious of this group since their website is a ".com" and not a ".org" as all true progressive sites should be (beside our own glorious collective, of course) .

Impressive link Comrade Commissar, I see an increase in your daily mud and water rations in the not so distant future... I'm lying of course, I do not have that kind of authority. But still, it warms my heart to see such work being made by the peons. Hmmm, Comrade Commissar are you a WHORE yet??

Go here... Her Excellency DEMANDS IT.
https://thepeoplescube.com/red/viewtopi ... =7406#7406

George W. Bush wrote:Rights??? You want rights???

You get no stinkin' rights while I wield the veto pen!

heheh! Remember to Moraca!!

Ah... Der Fuhrer himself. You have proven to be such a disappointment. We provided you with an Ivy League education, an alcohol soaked, ammoral youth and surrounded you with moral relativist, appeasment-minded RINOs. You could have been a Ted Kennedy in faux-Republican garb but instead, you've taken this whole "Neo Con" "compassionate conservative" crap seriously. You could have meant so much to the revolution and yet you've failed. At least you can be the focus of The People's justifiable hate. We will soon retake control of the Legislature, through our friends the Demokrats. Then, comrades Conyers and Leahy will conduct endless investigations leading to your eventual and inevitable impeachment. Also, the impeachment of that vile murderer, Cheney, as well. We will turn the two of you over to the courts of international justice as The People's glorious new leader, Nancy Pelosi assumes control of the executive branch. Only until until Hillary herself is ready to become Premier of the new, glorious USSA, of course! Your fate is inevitable, there is nothing you can do but surrender now and beg The People's forgivness. Perhaps, if you do so, we will spare your family. Personally, I look forward to sparing your daughter Barbara, as a vessel for my own Progressive fulfilment!

Commissar M wrote:Comrades! We must not forget our friends who have long toiled in the trenches to combat this vile country's oppressive, reactionary indifference to machine rights. For example:

www.aspcr.com

These people are way ahead of their time. Fascinating. We must co-opt them!

Chairman Meow S. Pun wrote:Impressive link Comrade Commissar, I see an increase in your daily mud and water rations in the not so distant future... I'm lying of course, I do not have that kind of authority. But still, it warms my heart to see such work being made by the peons. Hmmm, Comrade Commissar are you a WHORE yet??

Go here... Her Excellency DEMANDS IT.
https://thepeoplescube.com/red/viewtopi ... =7406#7406

Comrade Chairman, your generousity in the name of The People is most kind and welcomed. Please, save the mud and water rations for the more deserving Proletariat. As humble servant of The People and The Party, I am already gifted with a more than adequate ration of vodka and potatoes. I also receive a sufficient supply of ammunition for my trusty Tokarev pistol, so that I may continue to do the good work of The People and The Party.

Comrade Chairman, it is ALWAYS a pleasure to be a WHORE for our future Glorious Leader, Hillary R. Clinton. I am inspired by the selfless acts of devotion to our Glorious Leader shown by others, such as comrade Warner did today. I will of course commit my full measure to ensure that she takes her rightful place as Glorious Leader of this vile country and, at last, begins our transformation into the USSA that we dream of. The People's Socialist Utopia is within our grasp, under the wise leadership of comrade Hillary. Forward to Progress; Forward to Revolution, comrades!

https://www.aspcr.com

At long last, our Appliance brethren are given the rights and dignity they have fought so long to acheive. The link below is a classic example of what we in the progressive commune must strive to acheive that was done in the most progressive and free region of the world...

Soil Yourselves in Collective Revolutionary Zeal!!

https://news.nationalgeographic.com/new ... ockey.html

We must start a campaign to liberate appliances currently imprisoned by the capitalist megastore slavemasters! They have nothing to lose but their retail chains!

free appliances now!

What do we want? Free appliances!
When do we want it? Now!

Most equal comrades, the 'pelipsky burrow would be more than willing to provide a forever home for free appliances. Any door inside door, specialized temperature control compartmented, with crushed or cubed ice maker dispenser refrigerator hoping to be treated in a compassionate and respected manner instead of shuttled around by some fork lift enabled Mega Store Chain employee, just say the word, and the space in the 'pelipsky's kitchen is yours for life.

Also, could we not expand this audacious movement to include free vehicles held in captivity on a rotisserie display at The People's Car and Truck Emporium. The 'pelipsky burrow-hold is particularly interested in maybe hosting a free Land Cruiser.

Respect and esteem is guaranteed and all rights are strictly unlimited. Mail in voter cards are no problem.

forelock tugging in equal opportunity and outcome,
'pelipsky