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Fall Back Comrades, Fall Back

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Once again, in our never ending battle to Save Daylight, we must Fall Back. Nightly the bourgeois forces of Capitalism attempt to take more and more daylight for themselves. One percent of people hording most of the world's daylight. So tonight, we TURN BACK the clocks one hour, and in doing so fall back to our carefully planned defenses, and once again defeat the forces of Capitalism by retreating into our rhetoric and behind our iron curtains. Defend Daylight and Fall Back at once!

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I don't know, Colonel. I keep hearing that the Republicans WANT to turn back the clocks, like there might be something in it for Capitalism.

The Party keeps telling us not to let the Republicans turn back the clocks. So is it really safe to do it, or is it just unsafe to let Republicans do it because they might turn the clocks back too far?

I just find the whole notion of "falling back" to be suspiciously un-Progressive.

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There are two kinds of clocks Pinkie. The metaphorical ones that the Rethuglikkkans want to turn back to relive some perverted ideals of glorious times under some actor who became president, and the actual clocks which mark the turning of time itself. By turning the actual clocks back, we are able to preserve and redistribute daylight more fairly to the toiling masses, enabling the beet harvests for instance to be completed on schedule. Ask yourself, did not Stalin's Red Army fall back for many hundreds and thousands of kilometers when Hitler marched on Russia? Did not North Korea fall back from the rebellious southern provinces? Socialist history is full of falling back in order to once again rise up and advance when the enemy is weakened. And when we advance we always take back more than what we gave up!

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To fall back or retreat would be an act of cowardice or dishonor. Fortunately, in the modern times of the People's Computer, we can "backspace" at will. See you in the morning!

(Sweet dreams, Dearest Pinke, If only you could wake up an hour earlier with your Babushka on my own nightstand and your sweet golden shovel in the toolshed... your dreams could come true!)

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It's just the greedy Wall Street tycoons ( i.e. The 1%) who are responsible for this whole
" Daylight Savings" conspiracy. Simply by turning, say 8am into 7am, they get an extra hour's worth of loading more burdens onto the subservient masses, lining their pockets with yet more filthy lucre.

That is the job of the Federal Government !

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What part of Commissar of Time do you not understand Comrade Krasnodar? I say fall back, we FALL BACK. It is for the collective good, and will enable us to harvest all the beets in record time. I have a glorious advance to spring forward on the unsuspecting Capitalist hordes sometime next year, but in the meanwhile, we must fall back to save daylight from the thieving bankers on Wall Street.

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Far be it from me to disobey temporal displacement commands.
And I have no doubt that we are falling back.

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Comrades. While persuasive (and progressive) arguments can be made in both directions, i.e. to fall back or not to fall back, as true progressives I would like to propose that in the future we ALWAYS spring forward, both in the "spring" and in the "fall". I come to this conclusion after considerable temporal consideration (about Pinkie's shovel, among other things), and while I would normally defer to the Commissar of Time when dealing with such things, I feel that we're missing a progressive opportunity here. It's too late this time around, but next "fall" we can SPRING FORWARD just two days before Dear Leader's glorious re-election!! Imagine what it will be like, progressing time itself forward by an hour as we leave the capitalist rethuglikkkans in the dust, temporally speaking! And by springing forward we will be able to vote sooner and more often for Dear Leader!!!

Raum Emmanual Goldstein
Those damned RethugliKKKans are merely attempting to save daylight on the backs of the POOR!

I say we redistribute the daylight from the "haves" to the "have-nots."

I simply do not understand why the government cannot simply give more daylight to those in need.

After all, if one requires Vitamin D which comes from sunlight, then daylight is a RIGHT!

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All that needs to happen to resolve this whole daylight savings matter is for
Lord Obama to issue an executive order to bring the Earth back to a zero degree tilt.*

If he can save two million jobs without any proof of doing so, he can certainly do this !

Finally, days and nights will have 12 hr. / 12 hr. equality every day of the year, not just on the Vernal and Autumnal equinoxes. And this will be true no matter where you happen to be on the globe. Universal coverage for all the People !

* Of course, there would be drastic climate changes..... and I'm talking DRASTIC.
But everyone's days and nights would be equal, which is really the most important thing to take into consideration. Is this not so ?

Raum Emmanual Goldstein
Krasnodar wrote:All that needs to happen to resolve this whole daylight savings matter is for
Lord Obama to issue an executive order to bring the Earth back to a zero degree tilt.*

If he can save two million jobs without any proof of doing so, he can certainly do this !

Finally, days and nights will have 12 hr. / 12 hr. equality every day of the year, not just on the Vernal and Autumnal equinoxes. And this will be true no matter where you happen to be on the globe. Universal coverage for all the People !

* Of course, there would be drastic climate changes..... and I'm talking DRASTIC.
But everyone's days and nights would be equal, which is really the most important thing to take into consideration. Is this not so ?

As a point of process.... I might add, it would really upset the Druids not to have all those solstises and equinoxes to prance about hugging trees and bushes and the like.

I'm afraid I'll have to block you on that one, Krasnodar.

No, we should simply just redistribute the daylight as previoulsy proposed. I propose flying those living in daylight poverty into the opposing hemisphere and trade places with those who are living in the lap of daylight every six months. It would not severely harm the climate (especially if we switch to alternatively powered jet aeroplanes that lower the carbon footprint) and would not hamper the prancing druids in their quarterly rituals.

Furthermore, for those who have been severely daylight deprived, we shoudl fly them westwards with all due haste to ensure they receive as much daylight as possible on a daily basis. We of course have a presidence for this...

You may recall the Federal courts orders the forced bussing of school childern away from schools just up the block from their homes to other schools way across town simply to acheive an equitable mix to acheive racial balance and equality.

Can I get a temperature check on that?

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As I understand it, those green curly-Q light bulbs we're supposed to be buying are actually canned sunlight. Why not simply distribute those equally among the masses? Oh, wait - my electric/gas utility already did that! Not realizing what I was doing, I took the box of curlies they sent me to work and put a "free light bulbs" sign on them.

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There is only so much time to go around. Unless we act proactively all time will be in the possession of a select few. I propose a new tax on those who are rich in time and the establishment of a time redistribution Super Committee to supervise time fairness and equality. A time Czar will be required for ongoing oversight. Occupy Timex, Rolex, etc. may be in order.

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I concur comrade Comrade! The Commissar of Time should get onto this timely matter in timely fashion. The time to act is NOW!!!

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Silence! All of you! There is plenty of time to make time for the redistribution of time. Time enough I say! It is one reason we are falling back, so as to have more time to make time to make the time to redistribute the time.


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CB,
Yours was the first post on the Cube that I read this morning.
May I say your logic mirrors that of Dear Leader or perhaps even Nancy Pelosi .

Both the errant double-talk and deeply-flawed rationalizations are a great way
to start the week !

Thanks again,
Krasnodar, collector of fine ordinance.

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Remember comrades, "falling back" is all about The Children™!

Let the light of socialism illuminate all bus stops.

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This is all too confusing!

I'm glad there's experts. I don't know what I'd do if we didn't have super-educated experts figuring all this stuff out.

I'm sure Al Gore will figure out a way to make the 99% pay for the extra time they get, and then reward the 1% for springing forward. Have faith comrades! Justice shall be paid for!

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All I want to know is, where does all the daylight go when we save it? It is in a daylight bank that is federally insured up to 10,000 lumens? Is it in a place like Fort Knox out in space? I am flumoxed.

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Been tryin' to tell ya Princess - it's in those curly-Q light bulbs. Algore captures it via the interwebs, runs it through Solyndra and other stimulated companies, and then slaves people in the gulag union shops in China pack it into those "green" curly-Qs. Although I've never understood why everybody insists that they're green - they look garishly white to me.

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Margaret.... If you see this, your previous commentary is most profound.
For after reading just a few of these posts, I too now realize that there are scholastic giants among us.

Somewhere.......

Raum Emmanual Goldstein
Colonel 7.62 wrote:Silence! All of you! There is plenty of time to make time for the redistribution of time. Time enough I say! It is one reason we are falling back, so as to have more time to make time to make the time to redistribute the time.

Ok....like...I'm gonna have to...like..."block" you there, dude...Like "Point of process," Ok?

We're talkin' 'bout redistributing...like...DAYLIGHT, not time, ya, know? Like...ok?

So, how about a temperature check on that, eh?

Raum Emmanual Goldstein
Princess Nookie wrote:All I want to know is, where does all the daylight go when we save it? It is in a daylight bank that is federally insured up to 10,000 lumens? Is it in a place like Fort Knox out in space? I am flumoxed.

Yes...it goes to greedy Wall Street daylight bankers who leverage it in loans to greedy corporations to make insane profits on the backs of the poor who are forced to live in the dark because they cannot afford the high interest.

In fact the over abundance of daylight in the hands of a few has probably more to do with global warming than carbon footprints!

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Temperature check ? Well, allrighty then, if you insist.

We'll need a rectal thermometer.

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Careful with that rectal thermometer, you could put someone's eye out.


 
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