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Fast Food Workers Unite Behind FLATUS!

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Dateline The Entire Unfair USSA -

Fast food workers across the nation today united in a strike for a Living Wage, demanding at least $15.00 an hour and claiming the right to own a condo and a car less than five years old.

"I'm standing here in order to represent the fast food workers of America today," stated Eric Hitcherdiffel from a picket line in front of a McDonald's restaurant in Des Moines, Iowa. "Every American is entitled to make enough money to own a condo or a three bedroom house, as well as a decent car to get to work and go on vacations in," he added.

First Lady Above the United States, Comrade Mooochelle Obama - sporting her famous Mooochelle™ Fast Food Trough™ eating attachment - said that she and the president stand behind the striking workers, saying that if they had fast food worker children they'd look like the strikers in the picket line.

"Plus," stated the FLATUS, "I will soon be mandating a new menu for all restaurants across the country, not just fast food restaurants. For the good of the children and the country, all food served at any professional food establishment will serve only lobster, tamales, and various vegetables grown in and purchased exclusively from the White House Garden, thereby ensuring that I can stop in and eat whenever and wherever I want all Americans will be fed a healthy diet."

After the crowd of striking workers finally stopped cheering and clapping their hands in appreciation of the FLATUS's pronouncement, the strike continued, an ongoing symptom of the unfairness of the One Percent all across our democracy.

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I AM STANDING BEHIND OUR BIG FIRST HORSE FLOTUS TOO! It is time greedy burger buyers and greedy capitalist gIVe some more monies to the peoples workers!!!, regardless of our stupid, dumb, backwards, jackassy, no- speaky- the- Enlay they are!!

" PAY FOR WHAT YOU STUFF IN YOUR GULLET, JUST LIKE DEAR LEAD DO!" (bumper sticker to be available in the Peoples Sundae & Tire Shop a week from next Tuesday after next)

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Comrade Fraulein, correct me if I am wrong - but I believe what you're saying is essentially, "I'll gladly pay you $14.85 plus tax a week from next Tuesday after next for a hamburger today."

Yes?



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My bleeding heart beats in unison with these brave citizens. After all the notion that people can better their circumstances through hard work and achieve upward socio-economic mobility is a racist and unjust kkkapitalist idea. Members of the FSA (Free Sh*t Army) unite!

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Soon to be released is new forensic evidence that the antiquated parchment kept in the national archives supports the position of these brave workers. Apparently some rethuglikkkan, probably Bush, made secret alterations and inserted vague terms like "Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness" over the original text.

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R.O.C.K. in the USSA wrote:Comrade Fraulein, correct me if I am wrong - but I believe what you're saying is essentially, "I'll gladly pay you $14.85 plus tax a week from next Tuesday after next for a hamburger today."

Yes?

El uncorrecto, Comarade R.O.C.K. (pardon for my using el Espanolie, which I am learning from Rosetta Stone -- although I have yet to meet her). YOU may pay $14.85 for desired burger and do YOUR part to help the peoples, but it would be better to force the money from burger joint owners or to include price wages in Obama Presidente orders, would it not?!

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El uncorrecto, Comarade R.O.C.K. (pardon for my using el Espanolie, which I am learning from Rosetta Stone -- although I have yet to meet her). YOU may pay $14.85 for desired burger and do YOUR part to help the peoples, but it would be better to force the money from burger joint owners or to include price wages in Obama Presidente orders, would it not?!

Of course. Do you think the owners should actually be able to make a *gasp* profit from their business? I'll go a step further and suggest that any restauranteur that owns a condo and/or car less than 5 years old should have to give them up as well.

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KrystynaKorrekted wrote:I'll go a step further and suggest that any restauranteur that owns a condo and/or car less than 5 years old should have to give them up as well.
Or at the very least be forced to share them, Comrade! Why should the One Percent have exclusive use of things that they purchased with the blood, sweat, and tears of the 99%??

And there's room for several families in any condo, it's all about placement and taking turns.

From each according to his/her abilities to each according to his/her/its needs.

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Way, way back before the most recent Next Tuesday™ I worked as a busboy person at Howard Johnson. It was toward the end of my last year of high school. I distinctly remember that the manager didn't buy me a car or even say thanks. I didn't care cause I got filthy rich that winter stashing away my $0.90/hr. That was before The Party finished my introduction to reality course and I became discontent. Oh, well...live and learn.

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Captain Craptek wrote:Way, way back before the most recent Next Tuesday™ I worked as a busboy person at Howard Johnson. It was toward the end of my last year of high school. I distinctly remember that the manager didn't buy me a car or even say thanks. I didn't care cause I got filthy rich that winter stashing away my $0.90/hr. That was before The Party finished my introduction to reality course and I became discontent. Oh, well...live and learn.

Pardon me, Comrade, but is not "busperson" sexist? Why only a male child? Perhaps "busperchild" would be more correct. Or is that ageist?.... Pershaps "busmammal"? ... No, too speciesist.

Aha, I know! In my days of teaching at Korrect State University, to avoid such questions about the Commissar of the Department (Chairman, Chairwoman, Chairperson?), we used merely the term Chair. Nonacademics looked askance at us when we said we'd been talking to our Chair about something ("Oh, really? and did you have a nice conversation with your sofa and table as well?"), but it served our Diversity Purpose well. So perhaps the best term for whatever it was we were talking about would be simply "bus." Now your statement reads, "I worked as a bus at Howard Johnson..." Ah, much better.

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Plus, that way you can be thrown under yourself when the management reduces your position to 28 hours from your current 40 because they can't afford to insure you under Obamacare!


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Captain Craptek wrote:Way, way back before the most recent Next Tuesday™ I worked as a busboy person at Howard Johnson. It was toward the end of my last year of high school. I distinctly remember that the manager didn't buy me a car or even say thanks. I didn't care cause I got filthy rich that winter stashing away my $0.90/hr. That was before The Party finished my introduction to reality course and I became discontent. Oh, well...live and learn.

$0.90 per hour, Comrades. Non-union, non-government, and he admits his ill-gotten gain!

"I got filthy rich" he says!...

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Let the denouncment begin...

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Yes, Comrade Tovarichi, I am made of money. (compound interest works wonders) And as you know, a couple of well placed "donations" don't hurt either. I will probably be making a few phone calls Tuesday.

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