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FBI uses broad search warrant to bring Utopia to Texas

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Wondering how close the World of Next Tuesday is? Don't fear, the feds are leading the way, with their vanguard units already in sight of the Great Utopia.

FEDS RAID TEXAS POLITICAL MEETING
Fingerprint, photograph all attendees, seize phones


They broke up a huge block party of Texan Separatists, who are now complaining their first amendment rights are being stifled. Pthu! After Dear Leader gets rid of the constitution, they can say, "Warrants? We don't need no stinking warrants. We don't need to show you any stinking warrants."

Forward!

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This is exaktly the kind of police aktion that the British sought to execute on the Amerikan Separatists nearly two and a half centuries ago. This should serve as a lesson to those who think that they kan still exercise their konstitutional right to peaceably assemble to speak against our beloved regime and our adoring Leader.

Komrades, as the glorious noose of kommunism tightens around their necks, there will likely be inkreased resistance to the Party's five-year plans. Do not listen to their selfish appeals for the kapitalist enslavement that inevitably komes with liberty. Remember that if you see or know of a liberty-minded kapitalist, it is your duty to avoid their senseless rhetoric and report them to the regime immediately.

The FedCoats are coming, The FedCoats are coming.
FEDS RAID TEXAS POLITICAL MEETING
Fingerprint, photograph all attendees, seize phones

https://www.wnd.com/2015/03/feds-raid-t ... 5JGcJBM.99

Members of the Republic of Texas, a secession movement dedicated to restoring Texas as an independent constitutional republic, gathered Valentines day Feb. 14, 2015 in Bryan, Texas. These few malcontents, who probably don't have girlfriends or they would be too busy making reservations at a Bryan, Texas' Caffe Capri, affordable casual Italian restaurant with a creative menu housed in an art-deco interior. Voted "Best Italian" annually since 2000, were plotting to steal land and our brother Texans away from our Demokratic Nationalist Socialist Utopia. Those with Phds remember they tried this before unsuccessfully with his Majesty The Czar George III. Now, those pitifully few Konstitutional craving Amerikans are again trying to separate from the blissful protection and bosom of our Dear Leader, and his noble goal to bring pure glorious altruism and obedience to the world. When will they learn?!
Logic tells us that no more than groups of three's should be allowed to assemble to discuss ideas or these traitors will continue using these rights granted to us by our Dear Leader for plotting for their salacious, sinful, stupid anti-concept of liberty. Of course we must recognize the virtue of social media, That is why Net Neutrality needs to be implemented immediately. We cannot wait for judges to parse the technicalities of law. All ideas should be filtered through Pinterest or Facebook and agreed upon by a Demokratic vote of the iconic thumb. If only these fools would stop reading outdated words of slave-masters-past and watch more cable television they wouldn't be so stupid. Do not let the coolest man ever, Citizen Fonzi's great re-discovery of Greek democracy be lost to time again.
These kooks accuse dear leader of conspiring to take liberty away from them. But does not Government provide us with all we need? We all know that the only real conspiracies come from free men trying to separate from the flock and rape our tax base. How else will we pay for our free healthcare, free prisons, free edukation, free Department of Homeland Security and free pancakes during IHOPS National Pancake day? A new and precious freedom celebrated today March 3, which President George Bush graciously granted us in 2006 in exchange for the few unused rights which were gathering dust on the mantle, before the Patriot Act recycled them for all our benefits. These nutty secessionists must be reigned in. Please Dear Leader! Stop this awful dissent.
I heard someone at MSNBC interviewed someone who said, “some of these teabaggers had some kind of sick preoccupation with sharpening pencils!!!” Should we wait until those pencils are stabbing our children in the face before we act?!! And as you might imagine no shortage of copies of that outdated document the Konstitution were confiscated on their smartphones and computers. The Irony being our former vice-leader and champion of reason, and bestest Citizen Al Gore manifested these smart technologies for our benefit. Ingrates! to use these gifts of government to betray us all is a perversion of reason.

Che would not have allowed groups like this to flourish. Komrades!!! Tomorrow during your pilgrimage to IHOP proudly wear your Che garb in honor of dear leader's resolute action. Who knows if tomorrow will even come. Tomorrow the oceans may rise because of dissenters who will not listen to facts. No matter how much we quote corporate financed scientists, using corporate financed media to convince them. Where will the our lazy sunbathers tan then? Don't ask the Members of the Republic of Texas. They don't care. its almost as if those red states want the Global Warming and the inevitable rise of the ocean levels so they can have all the nice beaches in their states.
This spring Winter is Coming. We must prepare for the coming of Season 5 of GOT. We cannot waste valuable bandwidth waiting for the filthy masses to be convinced. Reason is for the weak. Let the tanks roll and use the power of social justice, equality, and democracy and let loose the blood of the un-believers. Let it flow in the streets before the melted icecaps destroy our beautiful florida beaches. Their sacrifice will serve as a reminder and a new symbol for the red stripes of our glorious flag.
All hail dear leader for acting so quickly and sending in the black boots to this dangerous meeting of white men who probably beat their wives! Imagine if they had gotten their hands on the Fast and Furious weapons and not our friends the Drug Cartels in Mexico and South America who are only trying to help lower the cost of medicine. I beseech all my Komrades to turn in your concealed weapons of mass destruction to your local commissar before these rebels steal them from your homes and fly them them into skyscrapers, or use them against moviegoers, school children and marathon runners.
You see I am not bloodthirsty, I prefer they submit themselves to cuban re-edukation camps. Cuba travel is super trendy thanks to Dear leader and interest rates on re-edukation camp loans have never been cheaper. Some fed banks are lowering interest rate into the negative numbers. You don't have to be a genius like Joe Biden to know that this means they pay you to borrow money. (*no need to read the small print) And if travel is not your thing today our own ivory towers of dialectical materialism/empiricism are the envy of Soviet Union. All glory be to Karl Marx.
Only the re-edukated will remember the words of Abraham Obama Lincoln, “Equality is Truth, Truth is Society, Society is Law, Law is Science, Science is hard to understand, Democracy is Justice, Justice is Swift and Apples are Oranges.” and lest we forget the tear swelling words of our Dear leader, our first half gay, half Muslim, half black and half white devil slave master president, during his historic inauguration, “You can have your cake and eat it too. You can consume more than you produce. Yes We Can! Yes We Can!!” or when played backwards “Thank you Satan!!, Thank you Satan!!”

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Ahem...

New Comrade, brevity remains the soul of wit, welcome to the Cube.

Now trot yourself to the indoctrination center for processing and issue of a shovel.

Clearly this cabal was doomed from the get-go, as I was only 2 hours (if the People's tractor was running) away and free that day to participate prevent it from taking place.

All praise to the jackbooted Federalés for keeping Dear Leader (PBUH) and his policies in place while I was unavailable.

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Looks like they will need to konstrukt a Luxury KGB Jail in Texas like they have on Homan Avenue in Chikagostan.

“The Republic has a lengthy list of qualms with the federal government ...” wrote the Houston Chronicle. “But most of their complaints have to do with the behavior of the American legislature and executive."

Well, day-um. Join the club. Or maybe I'll join theirs. Bryan has good barbecue, T&A M has pretty girls and there is football on the weekend.

Too close to Houston, though, which unfortunately does rule it out of the Utopia category.


 
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