Comrades, I have noticed a horrible thing happening here in the People's Progressive Palace. It is competition among our Comradettes. If there is one thing which defines a Kapitalist Pigge, it is competition, and the reason that I'm a Made Prog is that I don't like competition, unless I can of course choose the playing field, the rules and the umpire.

I denounce Fraulein Pulloskies. She was once a comforting old shoe; her hair up in cootie garages over each temple, and that delicate simian jaw there, which just spoke to how many ox hides she'd chewed to make soft and tender to make clothing for the Kollective.

And now? And now she's a Valkyrie sexpot. Hell, even Bruno thinks she's a sexpot although he does keep moaning, "Beat me, whip me, make me write bad checks." But her stony visage now, staring down her faultless nose. Where's the comfort in that? How can a comrade, in sore need of the comfort of a Comradette, how be intimidated by her face?

And those firm boobs! How could anyone live up to those firm boobs?

But that is not the worst. There is Leninka, which truly grieves me. I recall when Leninka looked strangely like Miss Uppity MIchelle. I remember when Leninka had a beard. Was that the same time that she looked like Miss Uppity? But now? Ah. She looks like some teenage boy's dream of some hot chick who will look past his zits and see the beauty of his soul, right through his pocket protector.

I, as a Mighty Made Prog, would think by now that a Comradette of the stature of Leninka, with her artistic dissembling, downright lying, theft and poison-pen letters would have passed all this need to compete in avatars.

So I denounce both Leninka and Fraulein. And if Mrs. Al suddenly starts showing up in something sylphlike, then I'll throw her onto the pyre and denounce her too.

Comradettes! For shame! There is no competition!

Theo dahling...please relax, there is no competition. While you were away I found an obscure section of Obama's stimulus bill that paid for makeovers. I applied for the funds so Pinkie and (in the spirit of equality) the other gulag gals could feel pretty.

Shame on you for saying the gals must look like gargirls gargoyles to suit your personal bias. As high Party officials they have every right to look any way they want (btw, website traffic is up 5% in the all important 16 yr. old male demographic since their makeover).

This is the 21st century now and women have the right to choose. Don't risk being denounced as misogynist and anti-feminist.

DOWN WITH KAPITALIST KOMPETITION! ALL HAIL THE BEAUTY OF BETTY FRIED-MAN! RAISE THE BANNER OF THE WOMBAT FACTORY! FRESH RETHUGLIKKKAN FISH MUST FRY!!!!

Whoopie, I hate to tell you but that stimulus bill, insofar as it applies to makeovers, only stimulates the Made Progs who take the money and give it out. I have made sure that all of the stimulus money goes to featherbedding unions, community organizers, soapbox preachers of Leninism, and the various legal defense funds which serve to set aside deeds which deprive migrant workers of government goodies. [ I ain't kidding here, folks. ]

So you see I did what the Made Prog must do with money. Take it from the most productive and completely and totally piss it away. Now a makeover for our Comradettes is not a waste. So therefore it is most un-Prog.

Meow, we are old-line progs, as you know. Why I recall as though it were yesterday our Many Titted Empress having her bacchanalias at the Rancho de Rio Grande. And I promise you--if by chance you grabbed a leg at night you couldn't tell Bruno from our dear MTE.

So there is no reason for our Comradettes to be spending money on useless frippery and makeup.

Because I don't care.

Ambrose Bierce told the story of the sheep and the two dogs. Two dogs were fighting over a bone and neither could gain the advantage. They agreed to ask a passing sheep to decide.

The sheep threw the bone into a pond. One dog asked, "Why did you do that? Now neither of us can have the bone."

"Because I am a vegetarian."

That is the most progeriffic story I know.

Well, well, well. Finally, you come out to play, and it's all because you're jealous of our looks. Is it because no matter how much make-up you and Bruno apply when you're back at the Rancho dressing up for an evening with Mark Morford (is that his name?) or for Jodin Morey, that you still don't look as good as us? I knew it, all gay men are jealous of real women. That's it. Now, you're judging me by my looks. I wasn't a threat to you before, but now, you know, I could pick up even the sweetest little boy. Ha! Eat your heart out.

Besides, I told you, I was going to revert back to my old look at the end of the summer.

You'll all notice that I'm still sticking with my original avatar. I remain pure unadulterated Prog. My avatar is like an icon, and I am indeed an icon of the Cube.

People see it and they know exactly who I am.

And when they see my shovel, they know exactly what they're getting.

ALL HAIL COMMISSARKA PINKIE! And this is why Comrades that the Commissarka is Heir Wombat Factory Inspector, for no one wields the shovel like our beloved Commissarka!

Besides, I am inclined to say such things after the last Wombat Factory inspection...

(Yes, Commissarka, all the Vodka and Party favors have been taken off the budget sheets now... please get that menacing look out of your eyes... didn't you have chicken soup last week?)

Commissar Theocritus wrote:Comrades, I have noticed a horrible thing happening here in the People's Progressive Palace. It is competition among our Comradettes. If there is one thing which defines a Kapitalist Pigge, it is competition, and the reason that I'm a Made Prog is that I don't like competition, unless I can of course choose the playing field, the rules and the umpire.

I denounce Fraulein Pulloskies. She was once a comforting old shoe; her hair up in cootie garages over each temple, and that delicate simian jaw there, which just spoke to how many ox hides she'd chewed to make soft and tender to make clothing for the Kollective.

And now? And now she's a Valkyrie sexpot. Hell, even Bruno thinks she's a sexpot although he does keep moaning, "Beat me, whip me, make me write bad checks." But her stony visage now, staring down her faultless nose. Where's the comfort in that? How can a comrade, in sore need of the comfort of a Comradette, how be intimidated by her face?

And those firm boobs! How could anyone live up to those firm boobs?

But that is not the worst. There is Leninka, which truly grieves me. I recall when Leninka looked strangely like Miss Uppity MIchelle. I remember when Leninka had a beard. Was that the same time that she looked like Miss Uppity? But now? Ah. She looks like some teenage boy's dream of some hot chick who will look past his zits and see the beauty of his soul, right through his pocket protector.

I, as a Mighty Made Prog, would think by now that a Comradette of the stature of Leninka, with her artistic dissembling, downright lying, theft and poison-pen letters would have passed all this need to compete in avatars.

So I denounce both Leninka and Fraulein. And if Mrs. Al suddenly starts showing up in something sylphlike, then I'll throw her onto the pyre and denounce her too.

Comradettes! For shame! There is no competition!

I rise to the defense of Comrades Leninka, Pulloskies and Pinkie.

Before Leninka learned how to properly apply her makeup, she had a somewhat disheveled appearance. But she understood that all Comrades owe a duty to the collective to never appear in a lesser state than the state of one's perfection.

Likewise, Fraulein's removal of her age-lines allowed her facial visage to conform to the perfection of her endowments. (But she still wears her headress in a cockeyed fashion.)

Both of those Comarades are dutifully obeying the injunction of Mother Obama that we all must have perfect Body Mass Indices, firm arms, slim waists, etc.

Now, I also rise in defense of Pinkie for a different reason. She is the Collective's version of the Reich-Wingers' Mama Grisley (but without fancy makeup) because she is the guardian against another of the Seven Deadly Sins proscribed by our doctrine: Vanity (i.e., Vainglorious Variation from Visionary Verisimilitude). (I understand that the Thought-Crime Warden is on the verge of posting an installment on the Seven Deadly Sins that can land one in the Thought-Crime Gulag, so I must not elaborate here.) Just as Mother Obama is tending to her Garden of Genuflectiveness to show how citizens must dutifully develop and flower in accordance with the wishes of the Gardener, Pinkie tends to our Farm of Fealty to prune away Insideous Infections of Ipseity. This requires Perspicacious Persistence instead of Pulchritude. Fraulein's and Leninka's jobs are to attract Youthful Yeomen to the Farm so Pinkie can train them as Selfless Servants in the Farm of Fealty.

It's how we did it on Pandora. It's how we made the testosterone-afflicted Na'vis compliant with the Gospel of GAIA. Pinkie provides the iron fisting inside Leninka's and Fraulein's velvet gloving. Also, don't forget that all the above is today's truth.

--GAIA Minister Neytiri

I defend the new look. We are losing the attractiveness propaganda war to damn Tea-Baggers and fascists like Palin, Bachmann, S.E. Cupp, Malkin, Mary K. Hamm and others. This cannot stand! We live in a new era, comrades. The paryt elites must propagate the image of superiority.

Exhibit A:
They have this!

Exhibit B: We have this.

They keep digging, Theocritus! Listen to them defend their most criminal positions against womyn! They are like those conservative wanna-be women who attack real womyn! Palinism! This thread is wrought with Palinism! I denounce the Palinist and their vile, vile creed of faux womynhood! SHOW TRIAL! THEY MUST BE PUT ON SHOW TRIAL!

More screaming! More screaming!!!!

AND MORE SCREAMING!!!!!

What amazes me about these Don Juan's and their Quixote windmill bashing is how apt they are to escape to some Norman Rockwell ideal of gallantry. Such chivalrous hot air is not what real womyn want! Real womyn want Equality™ NOW!!!! That means their very own fat ass wife beaters and burp contests you useful idiots, that's what real womyn want, why should flagellating male chauvinist assholes get all the all the fun?!? Huh? Huh? Anyone?

That's right because you're a misogynist pig that just wants to keep womyn subjugated to backwards ideals of beauty, grace, elegance and yada yada... you misogynistic pigs! And I can't believe some of the womyn in the collective are falling for this nonsense! Unbelievable!

All Hail Janyt The Woomba Loompa!

Argh... ah hrrrmmmm.... (*tears*) So touching Chairman, although I prefer bludgeoning the proles with Truth To Power™ let us appeal to their more genteel side as well (WHATEVER FUCKING EMOTIONAL TACTIC IT TAKES TO GET THESE RETHUGLIKKKAN ASSHOLES AND BITCHES TO CAPITULATE!)

Ahh... hrmmmm...... Yes it's true, I mean, I Understand™ that the subjugated masses have been defiled by evil corporations who only wish to appeal to their brainwashed kapitalist wants through Body Enhancements on a massive scale. We have personally witnessed millions, no, no, no, trillions of Body Enhancements produced by immigrant workers in sweat shops for mass consumption. Millions... no,no, trillions of silicon breasts and penis pumps and plastic length inserts have been consumed on a grand scale by the filthy filthy subjugated kapitalist masses. My cockrel heart goes out to them, the exploited victims of appendages, may they forever be free of such pendulous mendacity and awaken to the beauty of black holes... (ah hell, I just reverted to racism like that Rethuglikkkan idiot politician, sorry comrades) ah hrrmmmm... what I meant to say was if it's pointy REMOVE THE DAMN THING ALREADY!!!! No, no, no, that still won't work.... I must speak to the agitprop department on this one Chairman and get back to you. This is tragic comrades, very tragic indeed.

Could someone get me a tissue?

We may have to run this one up the ladder....

I DENOUNCE THE FRAU AND LENINKA!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Their new looks has put a huge dent in my Vodka consumption. Heck it used to take twelve shots just to get em to the level they are at now for me. But a gander at them now and tossing a few back is the very last thing on my mind.

Ladies you owe me a drink! Wait a minute er maybe a neck rub now?

OPTICS gentleman, Optics. It's all about looks in our modern, media savvy, digitally enhanced, YouTube and facebook, narcissistic world of next Tuesday.

We created the idea of pop-culture where beauty rules. You think anyone would have gone to see that movie Avatar without attractive naked blue natives running around? How do we get our message out without pandering to the lowest common denominator?

The days of preachy sea hags like Helen Thomas, Joy Behar, Streisand and Garofalo are over. Generation X is coming to power. ObamaCare will kill off the old and ugly. We are creating a new youthful society. Lean muscular progressive warriors who will march forth to plant the flag of Marxism.

"Lean muscular progressive warriors who will march forth to plant the flag of Marxism."

Such inspiring prose.
I can picture the triumph of our progressive ideals in my mind so clearly.
The future is indeed bright my fellow travelers.

Comrades, lest there be any doubt that I am the most Progressive of them all, I found a photo of none other than myself--yes, ME, Commissarka Pinkie!--waving to Dear Leader!

https://www.flickr.com/photos/whitehouse/4876685601/

I'm ever so excited. I've been getting phone calls all morning.

Must have been really early in the morning...your nose was barely showing the first blush of Vodka.

Pinkie, you let them Secret Service goons take your shovel?

Meow wrote:Social conditions dictate that ugliness of the liberated economic character must be upheld in the interest of the free peoples of Earth. Only through the careful liquidation of beauty can we achieve a functioning society free of the social disease that has plagued the developed global North. We must liberate the oppressed collective bodies from the shackles of Fascist oppression that has wrought its sorrow on the hearts of the masses through misogyny, racism, and wanton economic exploitation. Body enhancements that were produced as a commodity by the sweat of the working class and sold for profit only perpetuates the ruling classes economic and social control over the proletariat. By dispensing of these objects through the targeted liquidation of their creators can we finally achieve the utopian world and ideal known only as The Progressive World of Next Tuesday.

Ah, dear Meow, tilting against the windmill of lookism. Of course it is most unfair that all our fair comrades should not be true proles, with sturdy legs and calves for pulling the socialist plow. But the problem is that men just don't feel that way.

Now I, for one, think that there is nothing more fetching that Pinkie's head scarf. I cannot tell you the different varieties of lice that have infested the Rancho from that single head scarf. Once I went into Pinkie's guest room and saw serried ranks of head lice doing training and marching in ranks. Now that's a true prog.

But I still say that it's not fair for Fraulein and Leninka to look hot.

Because I want to look hot.

That's the reason for the denunciation, you know--no prog ever denounced something that he had going for him.

Comrade Whoopie wrote:Pinkie, you let them Secret Service goons take your shovel?

pinkie and prez.jpg

No, the folks at The Party's 24-Hour Fotomat airbrushed it out of my upraised right hand. They said the sunlight reflected off the golden surface in such a way to create a huge glare that distracts the casual viewer from more important elements in the photo--like my face and the back of Obama's head.

This has been official policy ever since that unfortunate wedding photo of the Obamas that shows a stream of reflected light shooting out of the top of Michelle's head like a blow-torch.



Thar she blows!

Hey, just for you to be waiting for one darned tooting minute...

Are you to be saying I am not of the beauty?

Why, you are just to be looking at my most rosey of cheeks and plump, beet red lips to know I am of the epitome of loveliness! And can you not be for seeing the graying hairs in my facial growth that each of them are of the utmost beauty as each one is for being a representation of the struggle toward the perfect Day of the Next Tuesday! And there can be nothing more for beauty than the coming of Next Tuesday!

Comrade Whoopie was to be for making for me the image of inner beauty as he was to be for making for the Pinkie, Leninka, and the Frau. It should not be for the denouncement that Leninka and the Frau were for wearing their inner beauty outside as that is their Progative.

And those firm boobs! How could anyone live up to those firm boobs?

FIRM BOOBS!!! I KNOW MANY MAN BOOBS DRAGGING THEIR BEHINDAGE AROUND THE CUBE! Now, we must tolerate the intolerable from a jealous old whiney boob?! I DENOUNCE YOU FOR DENOUNCING MYSELF AND IMPALING MY BOOBAGE ENDOWMENTS!!!
Us, the poor, toiling gulag frau's, with beet stained finger, toes, feet, elbows and other 'parts', find a simple pleasure in a FREE provided makeover from, (sniffle), glorious Comrade Whoopie, (sniffle drip) and this is the slap in the endowments we receive from a jealous old coot comrade?!

How can you begrudge us, so grudgingly, a fun summer frolicked makeover! Do we make mock of your long girly hair and funny cap? Do we ridicule dear Ivan with his brain stuck in a jar? Do we jest about poor dear Whoopie's AX riddled head? Do we mock Red Rooster who is an eatable object?! NEIN I SAY! (that is NO for you in unknown parts of Texas).

Take your jealousy and smoke the pipe, Comrade Theo, and after an appropriate apology we will remove our heel from your ***** but not until.
OR you can send a generous donation, made out to myslef, to be donated to a charity of my choice (announced at some future date) to - [email protected]

and further more... my old Fraulein self was HOT! HOT I SAY, as is dear glorious Comrades Mrs. Al and her glorious beard and lovely Leninka and her piggie tails! How can you insult such hard work Made Progs but say we were not hot before?! humph . . . you and Bruno . . . . piffle piffle &%$#@!!!!

You tell him Frau. I salute Leninka and your courage in standing up to this attempt to bully you.

And Theo, remember that I told you that a certain x-ray technician gave me a picture of your colon which I would post on the internet. Well, here it is for the world to see.


(feel free to make this your new avatar)

Comrade Theocritus,

I know of some very good bone doctors who could pound your clavicle and shoulder bone down to dainty perfection, and give you a new jaw, to boot, all at the state's expense.

In the meantime, I think you would look dahling with a short do, and would you mind giving me your long locks? Being folicle-ly challenged, as Comrade Groucho Marx so embarrassingly graciously revealed for all of the world to see, I could use those locks - from each according to his ability to each according to his need, don't you know.

Comrade Whoopie,

Now, I have to denounce you! Look at all the trouble you've gotten me into! Although, I will admit that I'm getting compliments from comrades that never paid me a whit of attention before getting my new avatar.

Comrade Whoopie wrote:

(feel free to make this your new avatar)

humm, it appears that loyal Comrade Theo IS "full of it", does it not? But it would indeed make a glorious avatar! It is just so 'you'.

El Presidente wrote:I defend the new look. We are losing the attractiveness propaganda war to damn Tea-Baggers and fascists like Palin, Bachmann, S.E. Cupp, Malkin, Mary K. Hamm and others. This cannot stand! We live in a new era, comrades. The paryt elites must propagate the image of superiority.

Exhibit A:
They have this!

Exhibit B: We have this.

El Presidente,

You have made a very valid point!

But I must denounce you in jest for getting me all worked up with that vile right wing Cupp and then rendering me flaccid with the pic of Comrade Auntie Semitic!

What am I to do!!!!?

Fraulein, you don't know the compliment I pay you when talk about your former, wrinkled dugs. You see, your dugs are the first ones that I've noticed. Oh, friends would say, "Look at the rack on that one!" and I'd yawn.

But you, your withered boobage...it somehow speaks to me.

And now, Leninka, a word for you. If you can't answer my charge, then just shut up. You know in your heart of hearts, sub specie aeternitas, that I'm right and that you are flaunting yourself.

Now to all of our Comradettes. There is nothing to be gained by flaunting your looks. Just think of Helen Thomas. For a half century she was a boil on the ass of the body politic but only when her blatant anti-Semitism become too much to ignore was she booted.

Now that's staying power. And no one ever said that Helen was lovely.

Comrade Theocritus,

I just finished watching an early movie of Jodie Foster, the one where she murders a lech. She placed some potassium cyanide into her tea thinking she was going to kill herself, and the lech insists on drinking her tea.

That reminds me, Fraulein and I thought it would be nice to have you over for a cup of tea. Would you like to come for a cup of tea? Just for some girl talk. I can invite Mrs Al Czarweary, too. Perhaps she'll bring us some kind of exotic delicacy.

Of course, there are the Betty's and Hillary's and Janeane's of the party, but really, what do they bring to the party? When Janeane dyed her skin orange, I thought, well, perhaps she's trying to make herself into a light skinned black woman like me. After all, she wants to look the part whenever she plays the race card. And then there is Nanski, lovely, botoxed Nanski. Is she not a role model for all of us?

I'm sorry if I hurt your feelings. Let's have some tea.

Most loyal Comrade Whoopie, are you obsessed with "man boobs" and projecting your desire upon me? But I digress, a Prog Tea Party ™ is in order, is it not? Sharing, chatting, laughing at the reich, and of course, sipping dear Leninka's glorious tea.
We all hope you will be able to attend and don't forget the number of next of kin, perchance you grown weary and need a lift home.

Leninka, I would enjoy mine with a bit of lemon if it's not too much to inquire. Lemon can cover the taste of minerals hiding in the water, like say, if your water purifier is on the blink?

GAIA Minister Neytiri wrote:I rise to the defense of Comrades Leninka, Pulloskies and Pinkie.

Comrades,

When it comes to comradettes, including Pamalinsky and others, I rise whenever possible. The vanguard has to at least stand guard, or simply stand.

I do my bit too, Tovarich, I do my bit too.

And Leninka, I'd love to have tea with you. In fact I've just gotten in a new shipment of tea, a specially grown premier-cru from Ceylon, grown on the north side of the plantation's hill. Not on the south, but on the north. I can tell a difference.

And I'm sure that you will too. I have some other lovely things from Sri Lanka which you and the dear Fraulein and Mrs. Al might want to try.

Commissarka Pinkie wrote:Thar she blows!

I can not tell you how pleased I am you all of you younggentlemen are rising at our presence. A much deserved rise, in deed. As for tea, Comrade Theo, it sound delightful and I am glad you will be able to join us in a sIP (and don't forget to bring the vodka for a "just in case" moment arises.... umm, there we go, rising again). But, most honestly, I prefer West side.

Just a reminder for new comrades...

O.M.G. I'm nearly speechless!

Comrade Whoopie,

Excellent depiction of the perfect prog female.

As Dear Leader and Comrade Michelle drive up to the White House Check Point, and Comrade Michelle breathes Dear Leader's second-hand smoke, I have, on many occasions, witnessed black smoke coming out of her blow hole.

I take no credit for creating this collective image which I found in the Party archives. I merely wanted new proles to know where the blowhole concept that Pinkie speaks of originated. I also have this unretouched photo of Obama's wedding which gives credence to the claim that he's an illegal alien.

Let's wait and see just how the blowhole operates. It seems that even reporters interested in the truth in foreign papers, which means of course Stalin-sucking drooling self-righteous hacks, have mocked Miss Uppity for her tastes.

Which is a bit hard, really. Because from what I read her parents attend all school events that she and her brother went to and they were called a four-fork family--one for each member.

How easy it is to assume unearned virtue.

Commissar Theocritus wrote:I do my bit too, Tovarich, I do my bit too.

And Leninka, I'd love to have tea with you. In fact I've just gotten in a new shipment of tea, a specially grown premier-cru from Ceylon, grown on the north side of the plantation's hill. Not on the south, but on the north. I can tell a difference.

And I'm sure that you will too. I have some other lovely things from Sri Lanka which you and the dear Fraulein and Mrs. Al might want to try.

If it's as good as the tea I recently purchased with my food stamps from the 99 Cent store, then that will be fine with me.

That's right, dear Leninka. I had an interesting email from Pupovich, who was a bit the worse for wear. It was all that socialist potato vodka. He told me that if I was really interested in getting back that superlative piece of Murano glass that grew legs and walked away, I would need to talk to you.

Leninka. Dear. Dear, sweet Leninka. Is it true that you are harboring truant blown glass from the Rancho? We must talk about this. A lot. Please bring over some other comrades who have been so kind to me in the past.

Say our Many Titted Empress, of course Mrs. Al, and dear Fraulein. Perhaps Pamalinski.

I'll give you all a chance to explain whether you are the thieves, in the best socialist tradition of course, or Pupovich is.

There is no wrong answer.

Let's see how we all feel after the tea, and I'll rack my brain to see if I can remember pilfering that blown glass job you're talking about. Theocritus, you do seem to be carried away sometimes with the decorating. What's it now? An extra lit closet for Bruno's extra shoes?

errr, blown glass? Was that yours, dear Theo, why, oh my, I had no idea that glass in the antique cabinet was yours. And being that you are 'all for all, and one for all', I just assumed what ever was around was available for the collective. No?

pssst, you can imagine how disappointed relieved I was to awake this morning and find my Obama Funded Makeover ™ had an expiration date and had expired.

Note to Comrade Whoopie,

Please forgive my fickleness in changing out my Avatar. I will return to the blond Avatar whenever I'm feeling like a femme fatale. When you placed the Klingon idea right in front of my nose, I couldn't help but try it on for size.

Fraulein, frankly I had thought that Obamacare was going to make all Comradettes have the same magnificent bound and wrinkled jugs that your avatar has. Of course we all get to choose our appearance, don't we? Dear Leader, and I don't mean Dear Oleader, is a short fat troll with big specs and hair that Don King would kill for. But as a True Believer I see him like Tom Selleck in 1982, holding a shovel in one hand and a hoe in the other, advancing in the spirit of Socialist Solidarity.

Leninka, I must say that your Miss Michelle Klingon avatar is pretty good. Especially the expression. Do you think that the room-service waiters in Spain got that look?

Leninka I support free choice for all and denounce any fascist reactionaries who dare to dictate what others can and can't have.

Ahhhhhhhh... just beautiful Comradettes, just beautiful. And here I was afraid that Janyt Woompa Loompa would outshine you forever more.

Leninka wrote:Note to Comrade Whoopie,

Please forgive my fickleness in changing out my Avatar. I will return to the blond Avatar whenever I'm feeling like a femme fatale. When you placed the Klingon idea right in front of my nose, I couldn't help but try it on for size.

Forget about Whoopie!

Leninka, I've got three pails of cheeseburgers and all the blow hole lube a Klingon can take!

Get with the HERO!

Comrades,

It brings tears to my one eye, the rising of so many comrades to such a selfless cause.

Is there any chance of a Comradette Line, rather like The Rockettes or A Chorus Line, yet more socially just and progressive? Perhaps with a sprikling of Arirang to get the right ethnic and Party spirit. Like this, thanks to our favorite network, of the 60th Anniversary of the Arirang Festival:https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=isnJYv- ... re=related By the way, do you note any starved, tortured, oppressed, or unhappy North Koreans, comrades? Of course not, for it is a democratic people's republic, unlike those in the so-called "Developed World"! Hence I suggest all comrades tune in to Radio Pyongyang. Bathe in the juche!

Comrades,

I do have a confession to make. Although it may have happened inadvertently, I have become a hoarder of Avatars, and I fear that I treasure every one, way over and above what any true prog ought to feel for a piece of property. After all, my Avatars truly are the property of the state. I am ashamed.

Tovarich, I am going to have to visit on you an infestation of nano Jimmy Carter rabbits. I was playing that video and Bruno just happened to see the men all waving pompons. He's now shredding my best napery to make a big huge pompon and I can just imagine it now. I'll be seeing him dancing to Grease.

Leninka, it is quite acceptable to hoard avatars especially since yours are all based on Miss Resentment. That's homage to a great lady. To a great, oh, just what is she? I'm at a loss for words. I have words for Our Many Titted Empress but for Michelle...

Commissar Theocritus wrote:Tovarich, I am going to have to visit on you an infestation of nano Jimmy Carter rabbits. I was playing that video and Bruno just happened to see the men all waving pompons. He's now shredding my best napery to make a big huge pompon and I can just imagine it now. I'll be seeing him dancing to Grease.

Leninka, it is quite acceptable to hoard avatars especially since yours are all based on Miss Resentment. That's homage to a great lady. To a great, oh, just what is she? I'm at a loss for words. I have words for Our Many Titted Empress but for Michelle...

Prog_off\ [url=mailto:...f@ckin']...f@ckin'[/url] [url=mailto:BI@TCH]BI@TCH[/url]!!! there I said it for you, and I feel lots better...and you comradettes who caved to collective pressure to revert to your old avatars...permission granted to re-revert to the HOTTIE avatars, SALUTE!

Marshal Pravada,

Respectfully cease and desist. Your nads that were recently caught in the tractor blade will do you no good now. Please return to your proles in quadrant 666, there are plenty of beets to sew and reactors to melt down before we reach The Glorious World of Next Tuesday.

Try on the Brown Glove, I hear it works wonders.

Compassionately Collectively Yours,

Commissar Red Rooster

Pravda, don't you know by now that made progs can be anything without guilt, except straight, white males? I accuse you of being all three. Now I don't think there's anything wrong, between us, with any of those. After all, my father and brother are straight, white males and good people too.

But they're Rethuglicans, not progs.

The only way that you can redeem yourself for being a straight, white male is to act like a wuss. That is be a prog.

You cannot say how fetching the new comradettes' avatars are for that's sexist.

If you really want to be a good comrade, you'll admire the men's avatars. Not that I'm accusing you of walking down the other side of the street but it shows that you're open minded.

It's all for our Proggery Piggery.

Get it?

Commissar Theocritus wrote:Pravda, don't you know by now that made progs can be anything without guilt, except straight, white males? I accuse you of being all three. Now I don't think there's anything wrong, between us, with any of those. After all, my father and brother are straight, white males and good people too.

But they're Rethuglicans, not progs.

The only way that you can redeem yourself for being a straight, white male is to act like a wuss. That is be a prog.

You cannot say how fetching the new comradettes' avatars are for that's sexist.

If you really want to be a good comrade, you'll admire the men's avatars. Not that I'm accusing you of walking down the other side of the street but it shows that you're open minded.

It's all for our Proggery Piggery.

Get it?

Ya, I get it, and that's why I moved from Kaliforknia 11 years ago to People's State of Texas...if y'all like them ugly avatars, que bueno! have at it...I like the hottie femdom look...does that make me a bad comrade? "BAD COMRADE, BAD!!"

Comrade Pravda,

This is leftover from your capitalist brainwashing. Do you not like my coif? I just came back from the Janet El Renyo State Funded Salon for inner beauty. Once we are all equal, you will not even be able to determine my gender, or Theocritus', for that matter.

Commissar Theocritus wrote:
And those firm boobs! How could anyone live up to those firm boobs?

Commissar Theocritus... I think this image may provide some insight into Fraulein Pulloskies 'firm boobs!'

Dag nabbit, I told them women to bring a towel to sit on. Now the leather sofa in the bunker is gonna be all slippery.

(when I get drunk I tend to slide off the cushions)

How did Frau get a bigger set than Comrade Nanski? This is most suspicious.

Perhaps I should appoint myself as "Chair of the peoples large breast investigating office and firmness testing" (A office left over from the Clinton era) and solve this Mystery once and for all, Leninka.

Someone needs to handle it.

Comrade Chedoh,

This is a fine idea.

There's no such thing as too many government agencies, departments, wings, legs, and arms of departments, agencies and self-appointed Chairs.

Let's not forget that there are many male comrades who are unequal in their endowments. This sounds like a job tailor made for one of our female comrades. Perhaps one of them can lend a hand?

Whoopie, if you're talking about shortening, I refer you to several of our feminaziesteemed female friends who would no doubt be very happy to perform any penectomy required. After all, what is more equal than a formerly-male comrade who can exchange toilet paper under the divider with Rosie?

Theo I know what you mean. One time Mrs Al. invited me and the Frau over to her cave for dinner. When I seen the way they were chopping zucchini, the delight in their eyes as they talked about their husband's shortcomings, I fainted dead away.

Jeez. That is frightening indeed. I have a healthy fear of Pinkie, and Leninka can wobble my tripes. But I didn't know that Mrs. Al was quite like that. Now, don't get me wrong. She's nasty, awful, larcenous, and dishonest. I love that in a comrade. But a pickle plucker?

A tube-steak slicer? A weenie whacker?

Come to think of it, perhaps Mrs. Al can use her weenie-wacking ways on Wombella and Ursula, the two squat, dumpy, hairy-legged East German athletes whose DNA no one dares check. I got them specially as spies aides to Obamugabe because he likes the type. But frankly their leg hair was causing rug burns, and Mrs. Al might be just the ticket.