All intelligent people including elite media journalists are having a hearty chuckle today at the expense of the foolish opponents of President Obama's enlightened policies after he deftly mocked them during a well-received speech at an elite community college yesterday.

Our Leader metaphorically thrashed these tools of Big Oil, likening those who dismiss advanced energy technologies such as wind and solar power to backward "flat-earthers" who refuse to believe the planet is a People's cube.

Energy experts, who were also chortling amongst themselves at this foolishness, boldly assert that wind energy is now providing a whopping 0.3% of the world's energy, soon to be more if Party scientists can get the wind to blow consistently. This is just the beginning of something big for wind, as this article reveals.

Solar is expanding rapidly and will soon crack the 0.1% mark, thanks to the administration's massive investments in this area. These excellent new technologies have not only lowered the price of old-fashioned gasoline fuel to the $5.00 per gallon level, but they will be creating thousands of new JOBS as soon as greedy bankers stop forcing the manufacturers into bankruptcy for silly reasons like not making loan payments.

Comrades are urged to study the following graph carefully to allow this good news to be absorbed (but not TOO carefully as we all have important shovelling to complete.)


Educated comrades may remember these other great technological advances which backward flat-earth believers once scoffed at:

The Avrocar vertical takeoff and landing vehicle. Tests showed that the heat was so oppressive that all instruments were baked brown after only a few flights.

The Segway revolutionized ground transportation.

The aero-car relieved congrested traffic conditons.

Venetian-blind sunglasses are great indoors or out.

Hydrogen changed the zeppelin industry forever

The shoe-fitting flouroscope used high-dosage X-rays to fit shoes perfectly and could cook hotdogs in seconds.

As the astute comrade can see, only a fool laughs at technological advancement. Flat-earthers today still mock electric cars championed by President Obama. The electric car is the car of the future and always will be.

If you cannot believe in the visions of Dear Leader Obama, you might as well not believe in scientific Marxism or unicorns. Or else, you are just a raaaaacist!

Comrade Opiate, I have two points concerning your most equal article. First, I wish to thank you for opening my eyes to the minority status of wind power. I had never thought of it in such terms previously. My new sensitivity to the plight (and opportunity) of minorities guaranties my support.

I also wish to highlight the x-ray device. Although this has fallen into obscurity, it has been replaced by the TSA Full Body Scan - innovation waiting to happen. It has the progressive fragrance of algae on a hot summer day.

Your adept use of tables is enough to gain my admiration. I must try them again.

The important thing about spending hundreds of billions of dollars developing renewable energy sources isn't about whether or not it's going to make them effective.

It's about making progressives feel good about themselves.

Isn't that the most important thing ?

Comrades, this morning I got up and prepared my organic fair trade coffee with electricity generated on my new solar panels, which work great during the week long rain storm we had. Of course my wind generator was there to use the wind we've been having, and it powered up my batteries that are just full of lead and toxic chemicals, so I was still able to make my coffee. Of course now, my batteries are dead, but the sun is sort of shining, even if the wind isn't blowing. Oops, excuse me, I just dropped a Chinese made fluorescent light bulb, and need to have a haz mat team come out and clean up the mercury.

What a bright future Dear Leader has envisioned for us !

*Colonel, did you know the President's energy czar has informed us that our coffee makers can also be used to heat water so that we can hydrate our daily gov't ration packet of unflavored Top-Ramen ? Now that's efficiency !

We all know (from the archives) how Mother Earth transitioned from being flat to being full and round:



--KOOK

Comrades,

Flat earther's serve the same purpose as flat tires in route to an important event.

Comrade Colonel 7.62, it warms (yet again) the cockles of my heart to hear how well you've acquiesced adopted and warmed to the mandated suggested energy saving earth-friendly demands suggestions of our Dear Leader and His feral federal government!

Why, just this morning - and this will be of particular interest to you, Comrade Colonel - I ordered some of these:

According to the specs, this Earth-Friendly™ ammunition WILL NOT actually hurt your enemies' feelings in any way, and it's fully biodegradable and sustainable.

Not to be confused with silly American "green-tipped" AP ammunition, the brass, bullets, powder, and primers are all manufactured using solar and wind power, and their primary ingredient is algae.

According to rumors I've heard, there's a new Hello Kitty™ version coming out in pink very soon as well!

the cube is a beautiful thing...

Yes it is.





Oh... by the way.......resistance is futile.