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Intelligence reports have revealed that jihadis fighting for ISIS in Syria and Iraq are eating lots of junk-food, with little regard for nutrition guidelines. Those arriving from western nations such as Britain and France have been forced to hold their noses while subsisting on overcooked or undercooked local favorites. The homesick warriors have made attempts to disguise their poor meals, but the unappetizing meals have led many of them to smuggle in fast-food such as McDonald's from the West.

That had such a striking resemblance to Michelle Obama's program of denying American children their dietary preferences, that it gave the Obama ISIS Task Force an idea a long-awaited realistic strategy for defeating ISIS: "Let them eat take-out!" This strategy should have ISIS keeling over with heart attacks in only a few decades, if they should be fortunate enough to live that long.

According to media reports, many of them already refuse to eat healthier options like salad, in favor of the less nutritious dishes that are finding popularity on the black-market. Some of them have openly expressed their displeasure that they were duped into believing that as ISIS fighters, they would be dining on luxurious meals such as crab and lobster.

The new dietary strategy will ensure the militants of the un-Islamic self-proclaimed Islamic State are defeated from within by denying them the nutritious diet necessary to carry on hostilities.

Such a shift in warfare tactics will devastate not only America's enemies but also the loathsome military industrial complex. The downside is that corporations producing unhealthy foods, such as McDonald's, Taco Bell, and Burger King, will grow their business, at least for the time being.

On the upside, with them now working as contractors for the US Government, minimum wage laws for low-skilled workers can be imposed by executive order. Overall it is a win-win for Forward Progress.

One slight correction, Punk: The proper Acronym for Her Obamaness is FLATUS (First Lady Above The United States).

Ivan Betinov wrote:One slight correction, Punk: The proper Acronym for Her Obamaness is FLATUS (First Lady Above The United States).

Are you sure it isn't FLATULENCE?

Gummipuppe wrote:Are you sure it isn't FLATULENCE?

Nyet, Comrade. Flatulence causes Global Warminsk Climate Change -- and we all know that none of our Dear Leaders would ever do anything to... <cough> private jets <cough> exotic vacations <cough cough> golfing while cities burn ...

I thought MkDonalds switched to trans-fat free oil for fry cooking in 2009 and we were all skinny now. Between that and Climate Change, I am sweating off the pounds.

Yet another tragic case of a poor ISIS jihadi lamenting the loss of Western amenities, conveniences, and culinary delights:

https://www.breitbart.com/london/2015/0 ... nely-life/