Quote:"This is not a stimulus, immediate-jobs plan," one senior official said. "This is a six-year reauthorization (of transportation projects) that is front-loaded" with money to try and spark the economy once Congress passes it.There you have it Comrades. Five year plans have evolved into the more glorious six year plan. I have directed all encyclopedias to change references of five year plans to six year plans. In addition, we are considering banning every fifth year, and simply renaming them "year 4, Mk II"Now hurry up and lobby congress to pass this Six Year Plan! Remember, it's for The Children(TM)
Opiate of the PeopleI am confused, Comrade Colonel. Why are six year plans more glorious than five year plans? Would it not be more glorious for the plan to come to fruition one year sooner? Hmmm, on the other hand, if the plan does not work as excellently as anticipated
Commissar TheocritusSo what does the term matter? It's just packaging. We're never going away. We're here forever, like herpes. We are the pox on the body politic.
WhinnyWhile this excellent explanation is the substance of textbooks that unfortunately may never reach the grasp of the unworthy, it's still comforting to know it in its essence as HOPE and CHANGE™
Commissar TheocritusComrade, I hereby promote you, just a stripling prog, for learning that great distinction.
H. L. Menckenof a string of wet sponges, it reminds me of tattered washing on the line; it reminds me of stale bean soup, of college yells, of dogs barking idiotically through endless nights. It is so bad that a sort of grandeur creeps into it. It drags itself out of a dark abysm (I was about to write abcess!) of pish, and crawls insanely up the topmost pinnacle of posh. It is rumble and bumble, it is flap and doodle. It is balder and dash.
Marshal PupovichWhat is this? Has my Party lost it's principles yet again? Five year plans, six year plans....
Colonel 7.62We have beet cake? Nobody told me there was beet cake. Or is this cake a lie? If so, I'm going to be real unhappy.
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White House to fight ISIS with new federal Terrorist Regulatory Agency
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Elian Gonzalez wishes he had come to the U.S. on a bus from Central America like all the other kids
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Obamacare bolsters employment for professionals with skills to convert meth back into sudafed
Joe Biden to Russia: "We will bury you by turning more of Eastern Europe over to your control!"
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The President's latest talking point on Obamacare: "I didn't build that"
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Washington Redskins drop 'Washington' from their name as offensive to most Americans
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Obama authorizes the use of Vice President Joe Biden's double-barrel shotgun to fire a couple of blasts at Syria
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FISA court rubberstamps statement denying its portrayal as government's rubber stamp
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Drudge Report reduces font to fit all White House scandals onto one page
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White House to American children: Sequester causes layoffs among hens that lay Easter eggs; union-wage Easter Bunnies to be replaced by Mexican Chupacabras
Time Mag names Hugo Chavez world's sexiest corpse
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Dept. of Health and Human Services eliminates rape by reclassifying assailants as 'undocumented sex partners'
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Japan offers to extend nuclear umbrella to cover U.S. should America suffer devastating attack on its own defense spending
Feminists organize one billion women to protest male oppression with one billion lap dances
Urban community protests Mayor Bloomberg's ban on extra-large pop singers owning assault weapons
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Skeet Ulrich denies claims he had been shot by President but considers changing his name to 'Traps'
New York Times hacked by Chinese government, Paul Krugman's economic policies stolen
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To prove he is serious, Obama eliminates armed guard protection for President, Vice-President, and their families; establishes Gun-Free Zones around them instead
State Dept to send 100,000 American college students to China as security for US debt obligations
Jay Carney: Al Qaeda is on the run, they're just running forward
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World ends; S&P soars
Riddle of universe solved; answer not understood
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Israelis to Egyptian rioters: "don't damage the pyramids, we will not rebuild"
Lake Superior renamed Lake Inferior in spirit of tolerance and inclusiveness
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Fluke to Congress: drill, baby, drill!
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Voters Without Borders oppose Texas new voter ID law
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Koran-Contra: Obama secretly arms Syrian rebels
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Obama meets with Jewish leaders, proposes deeper circumcisions for the rich
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Tragic spelling error causes Muslim protesters to burn local boob-tube factory
White House: "Let them eat statistics"
Special Ops: if Benedict Arnold had a son, he would look like Barack Obama
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