My fellow comrades:
We cower in the shadow of the most corrupt, most evil, most vile, most heinous, most murderous, most bloodthirsty,
worst administration ever in our history, both past, present and future. And yet the list of Bush's crimes grows longer by the minute.
Did you know that every three minutes, Bush commits yet another illegal crime, and attempts to cover it up, usually with blood and oil? Did you know that by the time you finish reading this post, he will have committed three more crimes, three more coverups, and slaughtered a million more innocent people?
Here is a list of just a few of the crimes he has been found guilty of. Rest assured, due to the numerous coverups of this illegal, immoral administration, we know he will be found guilty of even more crimes yet!
War Crimes (for some reason, never referred to as "Crimes Against War")
Crimes Against Humanity
Crimes Against the Planet
Crimes Against Peace
Crimes Against the Climate
Crimes Against Consensus
Crimes Against the Will of the Electorate
Crimes Against the Children
Crimes Against Our Nation's Infrastructure
Crimes Against the Oppressed
Crimes Against the People
Crimes Against the Economy
Crimes Against Subprime Mortgage Homeowners
Crimes Against Puppets and Mimes
Crimes Against Health Care
Crimes Against Public Education
Crimes Against the Poor
Crimes Against the Galaxy, and every other galaxy in the universe, be it near or far, far away . . .Crimes Against Traffic (New!)UPDATE: 4 new crimes committed in LESS THAN 3 HOURS!
Crimes Against Florida's Utilities
Crimes Against Comrade Red Square
Crimes Against Women
Crimes Against Hyphenated-
Crimes Against Puppies
Crimes Against Little Old Ladies
Crimes Against Criminals
Crimes Against the Presidency!
Crimes Against Cuba
Crimes Against North Korea
Crimes Against Time
Crimes Against Undocumented
Crimes Against Stem Cells
Crimes Against Chinese Observer Pilots
Crimes Against History
Crimes Against Constipated Mimes Who Wear Glasses
Crimes Against Cranes (New!)
(Ref: Various truly independent sources)
Here's where YOU come in:
If you care about our planet and the universe, if you care about humanity, if you care about peace and the poor and the children--if you care about ANYTHING--and if you're a true patriot who dares to have the courage to risk all you hold dear by standing up and going along with the rest of the seething mob that hates Bush, then you will find the additional crimes he has committed and is covering up, and post them here!
Remember! The more crimes he can be pronounced guilty of, the better our HBO reception!
And if you can't think of any other crimes . . . well, then you must be one of those spineless 19 percenters who are too blind and out of touch with reality to see The Truth, too ignorant and uninformed to think for yourself, so you foolishly rely on talk radio to tell you what to think. You'd have to be one of those who have been brainwashed into thinking that everything is wonderful, that the economy is humming along nicely, that the surge is working, and therefore you heartlessly deny feeling the pain and misery that all of us who know The Truth must bravely endure each and every day of this living, ongoing nightmare that is the Bush Administration!
We will find out who you are--and we will MAKE you feel that pain and misery!
Mikhail T. Kalashnikov
Oh! The terrible pain of having to endure another minute of this criminal's illegitimate dictatorship is making me sick to my stomach!
Chimpy McHitler committed crimes of authorizing torture, illegal spying, illegal detentions, and suspension of habeus corpus. Someone (not me though) must revoke the grossly expanded powers of this most corrupt, inept and morally bankrupt President.
Bushitler has not been true to democracy; he is a traitor and enemy of democracy and if he is not stopped, we are going to lose our country, and our world, to corporate power.
And don't forget the crimes that Cheney has committed, too. Doesn't he realize how despised he is by the American people? I believe that Darth Cheney was involved with the Anthrax attacks on Patrick Lehey among others and that he ordered the downing of Paul Wellstone's plane. Remember, this guy likes torture. He might even like it in a kinky way. Maybe he gets off to people suffering.
They deserve not only impeachment, but a full public trial in the system they have undermined or ignored for six years. And when found guilty, they should be placed in prison for hard time. Let them try to spend their ill-gotten gains then!
Not only are the crimes of Cheney and Dumbya impeachable offenses but some of their dirty deeds are clearly in violation of international law. I say give Cheney and Dumbya one more term - Life in prison.
The time has come to protect and defend the Constitution of the United States of America against these DOMESTIC ENEMIES TO THE CONSTITUTION who have occupied our White House.
Maybe we can impeach Cheney, and then try to get Bushitler with a Court Marshall. Perhaps then the chimp and his handler will get their due...
And a note to any of you bootlicking 19 percenters who might stumble upon this list of evidence:
How long will it take you propaganda disseminating genocidal apologists to figure out that Bush and Cheney and their gang are mass murderers, thieves, liars, and traitors. Anyone who had a basic civics class in high school that required reading (and understanding) the US Constitution and Bill of Rights should clearly see reason to try this administration with war crimes.
And all of you Brownshirts who support this corrupt administration should go sign up to fight this war instead of offering up other peoples' children. They have even upped the age limit so get off your lazy butts and go fight since Bush has you so scared of the terrorists. Cowards.
Violence is cowardly. Peace takes courage.
-Mikhail T. Krunchytinfoilcap
And P is for Plagiarism....
Why, thank you, Maksim! I will wear it proudly on my left butt cheek!
Mikhail T. Kalashnikov
Laika the Space Dog
Mikhail T. Kalashnikov
In light of my above admission, I cannot accept the most noble Order of the Mime...
Now Marshal, perhaps I was too quick to judge...after all, they weren't exact quotes and they were written with all of the original mean spirit, vitriol and mindless drooling paranoia of the People's Grass-Roots Crusader and all around natural Jenius (with a caital J). Imitation IS the sincerest form of flattery, and we can't all be proud of testing in the 96th percentile of our respective high school classes.
Mikhail T. Kalashnikov
So many awards. We need a page that has all the medals, party positions, and such. Just in case a few of us get lost.
You didn't plagiarize anything, Mikhail (I almost gave your name a different spelling, guess which one)! You are only echoing the same thoughts that all of us share, the same pain, the same misery.
You are not alone,
Mikael(damn I did it again! I swear I'm not doing it on purpose) Comrade Kalashnikov! There are millions and billions more just like you, all over this planet, who share your fears, your pain, your misery, and above all your hatred for Bush, who is undoubtedly the worst human being ever.
And they're being murdered one by one, every second, because they dare to feel those fears, pain and misery.
If anything, you do deserve that medal for not falling prey to those idiotic reichwing 19 percenters. Turn away from their words, Kalashnikov! Don't even look at them! For to look at their words of lockstep ignorance will bring on horrors I can barely describe to you.
Think of the final reel of Raiders of the Lost Ark. That's what'll happen if you listen to them, or click on any of their links. Exploding heads, melting eyeballs, power outages, plumes of smoke and Bush's minions, little better than demons, haunting you and chasing you down. That's a fact, Kalashnikov. Truly independent sources confirm it.
Agreed! Comrade Kalishnikov embodied the true progressive mime spirit in his plagarism! Congratulations! Oh, when will I ever have an a medal to show?
Mikhail T. Kalashnikov
I thank you all for your kind,
bleeding heart-felt words. I am proud to accept this distinction, not for myself, but for the billions and trillions of other victims of this criminal oligarchy who do not have the means, nay, whose means have been stolen from them by Bush&Co just as the last two elections were stolen.
Yes, I will accept this award, for the Children™, for the wanting masses viciously slaughtered by the criminal Bush - who is undoubtedly the most heinous mass murder to walk the earth.
I shall wear it proudly upon my krinkled tin foil cap for all to see, for I wear it not for myself, but for the People™. And I shall wear it there until the day I am hunted down and killed like a dog by the jack-booted minions of the despot Bushitler.
-Mikhail T. Krunchytinfoilcap
Laika the Space Dog
Do you take requests?
How about "Mime Passages" by Al Stewart
"Mime (Is On My Side)" by the Rolling Stones?
"Mime Has Come Today" by The Chamber Brothers?
"Mime After Mime" by Cyndi Lauper....maybe?
How about that old Jim Croce song?
"If I could keep Mime in a bottle . . ."
No, no, these are too frivolous. The Mime is serious. The Mime knows thuh TROOF! No matter what you tell him, his faith will not be moved, so:
"Give me that Old Mime Religion
Give me that Old Mime Religion
Give me that Old Mime Religion
And now let's go impeach!"
Don't let the Premier see that video though! Lennon was smoking a cigarette! Among children!
(Cone of Silence Lowered into Position)
*Keep this under your Che hats, and I am a bit worried mentioning this outside the bunker.... But Comrade Bush has actually been one of our agents. He deliberately done the things he did to anger the People, to invigorate the Progressives from their sleep, in order to bring about the Glorious World of Next Tuesday™ even quicker. Even his "friends" in the rethuglican party are unaware of this, so keep it on the "down low,"
I DENOUNCE CRIMINAL KOMMISSAR VODKOV FOR FORGING MY NAME ON THIS!
A mime is a terrible thing. Let's waste it!
As was once said most eloquently by a fellow Revolutionary, "When the dog bites, when the bee stings, it's George Bush's fault". There is no crime on Beloved Mother Earth that he and Darth Cheney aren't guilty of.
Each night, I beseech our beloved Lord and Master, Karl Marx, to send us His Messiah to cleanse our foul and evil country of the sins committed by Bushitler and Darth Cheney. And our Messiah is here, his moment arrived, to bring Hope and Change to our broken and hateful land. He will cleanse us of Conservatism and Libertarianism. We will shed our individualism to become one with The Collective™ as part of the Greater Good™. He will take the wealth of the evil rich (except for his friends and supporters) and give to the poor. He will bring us to Progressive Utopia™ and cast the evil Bushitler and Darth Cheney, along with all of their supporters and foul minions into eternal damnation before a Benign and Just World Court Tribunal.
Our salvation from wretched Nazism is at hand Comrades, for the one true Obamessiah™ (PBUH) has come to deliver us all! Praise the Progressive State™, Comrades!
Logic? What is this logic you speak of? We only use ProgreSSive Lojik. It's much better than you're logic that requires "thought".
Pale imitation of glorious Comrade Progressive RedFox.... What in the world are you talking about now? Where did you get that urban myth from? How much filthy money did you have to steal from the backbreaking labor of the masses to pay someone to write such a fairy tale and then fake my name to pawn off? Of course the Bush monster that your capitalist hell has produced and he will be your downfall as well!
Room she spins! Too, too much these mojito! These grand coronation His Excellency El Duce Raúl... mucho magnifico!!
We await these grand coronation in People's States of these Her Excellency and these Barak Mumia. Either is fine friend to people of Raúl!
I puff of fine puerto rican cigar, read these Cube, then is back to glorious duty.
¡Viva Raúl! Long live El Duce!
Criminal Kommissar Vodkov, I regret that due to your diagnosed insanity and multiple proved instances of ThoughtCrime™, you are not privy to this insight, either in rumor or fact. Just tune into Laika's broadcasts and try not to overload those few functional neurons that you still possess.
I regret Commissarka Pinkie that the Criminal Kommissar Vodkov's mischief has once again disturbed your evening. The full truth of the Bushitler regime will be revealed after November and the revolution is complete, once the People are deemed able to fully absorb the facts, However, as you can see above, I have denounced the Criminal Kommissar Vodkov for his forging my good name on that document. I was attempting to use the learning theory method of "extinction" on Criminal Kommissar Vodkov, but as you know, he is quite elusive.
Commissarka Pinkie is an example of true Progressive PureThought™, the sort of comrade we should all strive to be like. I have grown to accept that your mental illness prevents you from seeing this Kommissar Vodkov, but mental illness is not acceptable among Party members, unless of course you have a pass.... a pass that I might add, can only come from the Dept of Mental Health. Oh, and did I mention that I am Commissar of Mental Health?
You know Commissarka Pinkie, if it would make you feel better, I would not mind a bit to give you a percentage of the ca$h Kommissar Vodkov has "contributed" to the Pup's Pleasure Party House since I suspended his Party privileges. It is rather significant even after deducting the Party's share.
This Darwinistic infighting amongst memebers of the Politburo™ is beneath The Party™.
Let Hillary and Obama do that for us, publicly, within the confines of our puppet apparatus, The Democratic Party.
I agree, Comrade Blokhayev. In fact, so far, only Comrade Beezelbob Brown has added a new Bush crime to our sacred scroll. That was the original intent of this thread--not to revel in the exchange of Mimeslime (delightfully diverting though that is), or worse, to willy-nilly denounce one another.
Those who would rather denounce each other than identify further Bush crimes and engage in meaningful debate about the monstrous evil of those crimes, are obviously nothing more than blind, ignorant 19 percenters who get all their news from Fox, the hatemonger Limbaugh, and The Washington Times.
To all of you, this will be your last warning! Stick to the topic of this thread, and denounce the evil Bush--lest
ye you be denounced yourselves! (And I don't mean by each other, either.)
If Bush has committed crimes, doesn't that mean that Commissar Pupovich has failed? Bush is his agent after all.
To the Gulag!
Laika the Space Dog
I DENOUNCE VODKOV AS A PUPPET OF THE MIME.....
wait, that's a good thing...right?
Causing Criminal Kommissar to sow discord within the Parrty
Causing excessive, though warranted denunciations
Causing pimples on asses
Ongoing war against mimes *or is that a good thing?*
Hastening the coming revolution! *And that is a good thing!*
Vodkov, are you trying to curry my favor?
But since you're in the Forum section over there, I simply have to ask, which kind of Forum member are you?
The kind who talks to him/herself, like Annie does?
Or the kind who peddles cures for various virility deficiencies?
Causing Pinkie to forget own iron clad rule "To all of you, this will be your last warning! Stick to the topic of this thread, and denounce the evil Bush--lest ye you be denounced yourselves! (And I don't mean by each other, either.) "
Causing Commissar Pupovich to be too picky.
Causing unindicted terrorists to be suspicious of phone taps.
Hey, I did not forget my own ironclad rule, Puppy. Note I said I was talking to all of you--not to myself. (I am not Annie Fey.)
And you're not the only one who can be picky.
I charge Bush for not educating everyone sufficiently so we can know who this "Annie Fey" is!
Me too! Who's Annie Fey?
For Betty and Pup: About Annie Fey . . .
Over at the Mime's impeachment site, there's a "forum" where people can gather to talk, or fantasize if you will, about ways to impeach Bush and Cheney, as well as revel in other forms of HBO. There are roughly 12,000 people registered. Impressive, huh? That is, until we break down the demographics. The following figures are strictly estimates, but of these 12,000 souls:
11,965 are peddlers of various remedies for virility deficiencies
32 are trolls, aka the 19 percenters
3 are the Mime, Crunchie the Beingist, and Annie Fey
IMO, the idea of a forum or message board (as opposed to a personal blog) is for numerous people to have conversations and discussions, much like we have here (even though this is called "People's Blog"). Now imagine how stupid it would look if the only posts under this particular thread were mine; not the just the original post, but all fifty-odd comments, just Pinkie, Pinkie, Pinkie.
There are no discussions going on in that impeachment forum that I've ever seen; just a couple of the same people making the same tired old anti-Bush posts, most of them cross-posted (i.e. borrowed or stolen) from elsewhere. Nothing gains traction and goes anywhere, the way it does here (often to the point of straying off the original topic). It's as if those few people are just slouching around, mumbling to themselves like drunken, drug addled vagrants in an alley. Yeah, that's one hell of a movement they've got going over there.
But that's what Annie Fey apparently does over there. She talks HBO to herself. Probably shuffles around the house all day wearing a housecoat with big pink flowers on it and grumbling about when her next government check is going to show up. Rather like the Bag Lady that either Laika or the Chairman (can't recall which now) found over on You Tube when they were going after Grumpy Old Man Sludge.
(Cat claws retracted, Pinkie back on)
Yes, it's pretty lonely over there, isn't it, Vodkov? I'll bet you don't even hear crickets. Not even the sound of hot air moving (you have to go to the blog section to get that).
Frankly, I'm amused that you did that. On the one hand, I'm surprised it's still up there (I just checked), but on the other, I'm not so surprised because it's a testament to what a wild swinging place that forum is.
The crimes of Bush?: He's a bad man! He's a very bad man!
Strong words, I know - but I had to say them. Now, on with the impeachment!
I blame Bush for the yesterday's blackout in Florida. The media wouldn't be silent about it if they weren't the corporate sellouts that they are.
Let's disregard the fact that it happened two days after I left Miami. The plan worked out just fine. Sorry, Pinkie, for the ruined dinner, but sometimes you just have to take one for the team.
Come now, Vodkov. I haven't denounced you...yet.
I blame Bush for the incompetent (thankfully) attempt to blame the Florida blackout on Comrade Red Square!
I blame Bush and his FEMA for not having adequately prepared for their attempt to blame the Florida blackout on Comrade Red Square.
By no means should any one, living or dead, try to infer that I am suggesting that Comrade Red Square had any thing to do with the Florida blackout. In fact, I am the last comrade who would suggest that Comrade Red Square had anything to do with the Florida blackout.
No one has yet mentioned Crimes Against Women or Crimes Against Hyphenated-Americans?
Remember that back in 2004, Cameron Diaz (PBUH) warned us that re-electing Bush (PUKE) was voting for rape. Or something like that. And just look at what happened when we didn't heed her warnings. Each DAY, in America, well over 2 MILLION* WOMEN are raped and murdered! That's well over 730 MILLION* WOMEN every year in the US alone!
*Based on current computer modeling. Actual numbers may vary but as we know, computer models are more accurate than observable phenomena.
And what of Hyphenated-Americans? Bush has cut spending to the bare minimum, consigning all minorities to slow, painful deaths from illness, homelessness, malnutrition, despair, listlessness and a lack of big screen TVs and free internet. He has created and directed "weather" to destroy many others. One only need look at New Orleans, where over 10 MILLION* People™ died, all Hyphenated-American Minorities, simply to help the wretched JINDAL become governor. Clearly, Bush HATES all ethnic minorities and every dollar cut from Head Start, every unfunded mandate that leaves CHILDREN™ behind is another GENOCIDE unfolding before our helpless eyes.
*Based on computer models which... oh hell, you know the drill.
Many would ask, "But Commissar M, aren't those crimes against humanity?" And right before unloading my Party issued Yarygin in to them, I would say "No, the Party doesn't consider Women and Minorities to be mere "humanity". Each person's value to the Party is weighed against how many identified Victim Groups™ to which they can belong. The more hyphens you can add to identify yourself, the more valuable you are as a victim. This is negated however, if you are conservative, libertarian, objectivist, rethuglican or other similar ignorant dissident movements.
We are the Party of inclusiveness, diversity and tolerance but if you have the audacity (not good Audacity™, BTW) to be brown-skinned and politically right-leaning, we can call you a Republican House N-word, an Uncle Tom and throw Oreos at you.
On the other hand, any criticism of The People's Messiah™ (PBUH) is automatically racist hate speech and will get you condemned by all True Citizens and probably earn you a dreaded "Worst Person In The World" from Herr Olbermann: The Most Idiotic Of All Useful Idiots. Defenders of Free Speech will rise up with one (Party organized) voice and rightfully demand that you be silenced.
Remember that only APPROVED Party commentators (ex: Jon Stewart) may make light of The Messiah's™ most glorious name or any aspect of His person and ONLY with Party approval.
Chairman M. S. Punchenko
I think the right figure is around 2 trillion women, Commissar M.
Yes, please have a word with this
anti-pork cult lawyer. Amerika is about to elect BHO as President...Who is also Half Ethnic Minority, so Amerika being "Evil" will be reduced by 10.
If the BHO becomes president and the replacement of white Americans with Mexican
peasants Amerikans is completed, do we U.S. Amerikans finally get the chance to point the finger at another country for the world’s problems???
Excellent work, Comrades! The drumbeat of outrage thumps faster and louder. Ah yes, feel the HBO!
Commissar M: Your contribution is brilliant; however, I can't help feeling offended by the term "Hyphenated-American." We need to replace "American" with something else, as the word smacks of jingoism and isn't very inclusive, even when you hyphenate it with something. It's insensitive and unfair to those who can't claim anything American about themselves.
Red Square: Here at Pinkie's dacha, we have a saying when dinner is ruined:
"LET'S ORDER PIZZA!"
All things for the Greater Good must be done for the children AND the Undocumented Americans who have come to save our reactionary, decadent society! It occurs to me that this is the metaphorical drum we should be beating, not quibbling among ourselves.
True, I have not been around for some time, but Uncle Iosef gave me instructions to leave the Re-education center, and to begin participating once again in the pogroms and purges. And, here we have the beginning of one now!
Chimpy hates children! He slaughters puppies and kicks old ladies in the shins as they try to cross the street! These are the things the Proletariat must hear daily from the Glorious Press --
Well, okay, then, they should hear them MORE OFTEN!
We need to be in a position of strength before we eat our own. (Is that a roadkill pizza Commissarka?) We need SOCIALIST CANDIDATES for this, the highest elected office in the land!
I must study the players in the purge in greater depth, so that I may intrude and participate, well, later.
Commissarka Pinkie, the Party is surely trying come up with a new, non-offensive word to replace the "A" word but sadly, we're stuck with it right now. I have found that I can control the slight vomit that retches up in the back of my throat whenever I utter that vile word by ingesting a mix of Prilosec, Prozac and vodka.
Sadly, it appears that Prozac doesn't work, which may explain Daily Kos, Democratic Underground and other similar internet arenas of Progressive Tolerance and Enlightenment.
So far we've listed 25 crimes, comrades! I know there are plenty more being committed and covered up even as I sit here typing! Let's find them and post them!
Let's see if we can't hit 50! I'm told that's how many we need before the board of my neighborhood homeowners' association will even approve an agenda to vote on a resolution demanding the impeachment of Bush and Cheney.
Mark your calendars for March 17th. That's the day we're going to storm the community clubhouse and demand immediate impeachment--OR ELSE . . .
. . . OR ELSE we're going to send them a strong message by placing 2 foot high yellow gnomes in our front yard flowerbeds, in violation of HOA bylaws. That'll put the fear of Stalin into 'em!
True communists do not use drugs, only vodka. Prozac and other similar stuff is for our neurotic useful idiots, the liberals. They help them cope with their brainwashing.
Have you forgotten PeoplesMath™ Commissar Pinkie? Or have you forgotten how to count as well? I just skimmed the thread and counted 42 crimes,
So let me add another few...
HBO has caused Commissarka's to go blind.
HBO has caused Commissarka's to lose their math skills.
Bush is behind a shortage of campaign ca$h for the Empress she desperately needs.
Bush failed to let Laika out and caused a most unprogressive mess on my red carpet.
Bush is the Prime cause of deadly HBO pollution
I blame Bush for the Boobs instead of Bombs terrorists
HBO has cause a shortage of electrons causing electron shortages in the third world.
and finally, #50 by my count, Bush has caused unprogressive pressure to recount his many crimes!
Laika the Space Dog
Commissarka, by those standards you have covered all in the first thread, Crimes against the Galaxy and all galaxies, Crimes against people etc. I had no choice but to blame Bush for more nitty gritty things!
Laika the Space Dog
It's OK Pupovich...
Ten "Hail Tereshkova's" and "Our Marx's" and you are forgiven until The Party™ deems otherwise.
Now go clean up that "accident".
Six months I've been on The People's Cube, and this is the first time I've seen a dogfight between Laika and Pupovich.
This is no dogfight between us Commissarka, and in fact, I have been considering becoming a sycophant for Laika as well as my duties for the Chairman. Laika is the first Hero of Space after all, a true Party Pup, like I aspire to be. I am proud to clean up his mess and wag my tail and say whatever has to be said.
Is there a statute of limitation on Bush crimes?
If not when he was governor, he murdered all those innocent prisoners. He labeled them criminals, when they were only working for The Greater Good™ creating new necro-proxie Democrat voters.
Add to the list.
Crimes Against Criminals