India's Answer to Global Warming: Cows That Belch Less

We have all been indoctrinated educated on the farce evils of Global Warming, and our comrades in India have bypassed SUVs and diesel cars with fake emission results and gone straight to the true heart of the matter: cow flatulence

Party researchers are re-designing the cow.

E.M. Muhammed, a breeding expert, has been experimenting with an indigenous strain of miniature cattle that produce less milk than typical crossbred cows but are much better able to stand very hot weather. An unexpected surprise along the way, he said, was that these dwarf animals, which are about one-quarter the weight of crossbred cows, produce only one-seventh as much manure and one-tenth as much methane.

NOTE: The following is for the eyes of Party Members only. It is not to be shared with Deniers, RethugliKKKans, or anyone else who is not one of The Enlightened™.

Comrade, you do not understand. We do not seek a solution to Global Warming.

If Global Warming were ever to be "solved," I and many others here at the State Science Institute would be out of a job. And then we would have to do real science just to support ourselves, which sounds waaaay too much like "real work."

Remember that the true, ultimate goal of the Global Warming agenda is to bring the entire world under Communist rule. Until we have accomplished that, we do not want the Global Warming "problem" (which is not a problem; the real problem is that it stopped nearly twenty years ago, which threatens to unravel our entire agenda) to be solved.

We, the Enlightened Ones, understand that this propaganda you've shared with us is just fodder for the uneducated masses to read, in order to keep bringing to them false hope of the Glorious World of Next Tuesday. Thanks for sharing it, and be sure to re-share it with your unenlightened friends and neighbors to keep the false Hope alive.

Comrade Lysenkomann,

Through a series of cleverly constructed, impossibly convoluted NGO money laundering schemes and continuous media fear campaigns we offer: Climate change = Redistribution = Control = Political Power. Sounds good to me.

Perhaps we can do it with the pig!

Quest to grow human organs inside pigs in Japan

It might be adding stuff to a pig, but I'm thinking that if we can subtract the fart gland of the pig we might be able to multiply how much grant money we donate to the Kube use for research.

No worries. Ultimately, all of these cattle with gaseous discharge will be replaced with robot cows as technology develops. This one is hand cranked (kind of like myself), but imagine glorious solar powered cows roaming the fields. Excuse me know, I believe I have a new government grant to write.

This cow is feelin' the bern!

Buh, buh, but, I thought India revered cows! What is happening to this world?

Pamalinsky wrote:Buh, buh, but, I thought India revered cows! What is happening to this world?

With over 3,000 deities inhabiting statues, plants and animals pitching one for the sake of accommodation to their Mooslic neighbors is a small price to pay for lasting peace and harmony in the Indian Subcontinent.

Biff Henderson wrote:

Pamalinsky wrote:Buh, buh, but, I thought India revered cows! What is happening to this world?

With over 3,000 deities inhabiting statues, plants and animals pitching one for the sake of accommodation to their Mooslic neighbors is a small price to pay for lasting peace and harmony in the Indian Subcontinent.

Oh.