Palm Beach County, Florida - March 9, 2012 - AP (Associated Potatoes)

Today in Palm Beach County a previously believed to be dead of old age Gloria Steinem, overcome with anguish and unable to speak, was seen holding up a hand-lettered sign demanding the immediate arrest of Rush Limbaugh, for his crimes against huwomynity - specifically for insulting Sandra Fluke (rhymes with 'fu*k') on his national radio program last week.

As bystanders "rushed" to support her aging and frail body, Ms Steinem attempted again to speak, but was unable to, obviously because of the decades of pent-up womyn rage held captive in her wrinkled but beautiful as ever womynness.

When asked at the White House what the President's take was on all this, spokesunit Jay "Carney" Carney giggled and stated, "Hey, Gloria might be older than FLUKE (rhymes with, well, you know), but DAMN that woman got it goin' on! I'd do her!" He then winked for the cameras and said "That's off the record, ya know."

Rush Limbaugh was unavailable for comment, as he was busy signing up several dozen new advertisers.

Comrade ROCK, The Ghost of Feminist Past?

I suggest Democrats seize the issue and establish a Chastity Foundation for the defense of maligned chastesses (everyone should have one word to call his own). We shall name it the Clinton/Kennedy Chastity Center.

Slogan: If we haven't had you, it doesn't count.

Comrade People's Comrade,
If I may make a recommendation, the name of the institution should include something like "The Clinton/Kennedy Chastity Center and Humidor". If I am not mistaken they both enjoyed a good cigar. It matters not what someones working definition of "sex" is (oral sex not being sex). Maybe that counts as chastity. Just don't put "it" in ''there''. And perhaps as director they could get someone like Helen Thomas. You think that dried up, ill old bat ever got any?

Comrade yuri trotynov, I appreciate you pointing out my humidor oversight. We should hurry and put in a supply of Cohibas before they become legal. Illegality adds to the excitement.

I must caution you on any reference to Ms. Thomas. Gloria Allred is sure to dig up some arcane Florida statute protecting Helen's youthful vitality.

But I will take this opportunity to resurrect Comrade Red Square's award winning cover art which was produced during our glorious Helen Thomas poster competition.

Feel free to use this link to ascertain whether or not Helen is currently alive or dead. Simply looking at her may be deceiving.

DO
NOT
forget
Montecristo #2.

Thank you.

Carry on.

"...it looks like a 'cigar', only smaller..."

I think that's what she said.