I have been so amused by the artwork and entertained by the Kollectivist ideologies presented by the proletariat's imprisoned here in the cube, that I have decided to give up all of my worldly possessions (1 Huffy bicycle, and 2 pieces of firewood) to improve life for the common people.

My bicycle now provides modern transportation for all the elderly in my village, and my firewood has warmed the detention center for over an hour. I am hopeful to be welcomed into the gulag while I am still strong enough to drink the effluent that resembles vodka, and still young enough to dream of a sunny vacation on the shores of the abandoned nuclear plant near my home.

Thank you for your time Komrades, and if you ever see an elderly woman on the Huffy please do not confiscate it, I promised my grandmother she could ride it to the coal mine once a month.

Dasvidaniya,
Korprall Klegg...

Comrade Klegg your post has brought tears of joy to my eyes. It's refreshing to see a clear thinking progressive like yourself join the Party^TM. I suspect Santa Mao will be leaving an extra ration of beets on the front porch of your dacha.

Welcome Komrade, check in here : Welcome Message To Newly Arrived Thoughtcriminals

Meet your local Kommissar on platform 6 for 'a little ride through country'. If comrade Biden's Amtrak breaks down, do not be alarmed. All along the route there are plenty of trenches to dig.

Take shovel, start digging!

Welcome Aboard Comrade Klegg!

I too was once a lowly prole who humbly asked to join the collective and was sent to platform 6 to meet my friendly local Kommisar ( Nice chap didn't talk much though to busy with the bullwhip) and just wanted to pass on a little advice to you as you go through your medical check before you board the train.

They're doing medical checks in accordance with 'Obamacare' directives. When you bend over facing away from the doc so they can inspect your nether regions your going to feel a little pressure down there, but don't worry with Obamacare it is just normal for the Doc to place both his hands on your shoulders just before he 'inspects'.

Enjoy!

Welcome Comrade Klegg,

Here is a special ration of Leninka's Vodka. The label came before I had massive electrolysis (a fire in the gulag) and Comrade Red Rooster did a facial transplant from the discarded body of the wife of a kulak.

You're going to need it to handle the workload. We have a lot of beets to dig. So drink up because you'll either be digging beets or graves depending on the need.

Commodore Snoogie Woogums wrote:...and was sent to platform 6 to meet my friendly local Kommisar ( Nice chap didn't talk much though to busy with the bullwhip) ...

I think I got a visual:

Red Square,

That does bring back memories of working the beet fields at Camp Pelosi and my re-education 'sessions' to become a true prog.

Ahhh, the good old days!

Comrade Klegg, make sure you only bring party approved reading material you know the Washington Post, New York Times, Newsweak, etc. You wouldn't want to be caught with anything subversive. The fine folks at the collective farm tend to get a little.....er...edgy, if you violate the rules. Keep us posted on how your doing out there toiling for the collective. Always remember Comrade we care for you, your granny, may she pedal long and hard, and everything we do is 'for the children'.


Pssst..........Red Rooster, don't worry I know he asked us not to confiscate Granny's bike but with Granny soon to be getting Obamacare, that bike will be in our greedy little mitts soon enough.

And I do enjoy a cheap HUFFY!

Korporal Klegg, welcome to the Collective! Perhaps soon you can earn an extra ration of time, and get more than the standard 4 hours of sleep per two days while at the Gulag.