See more at Confederacy of Drones.

The Obamas spent lavishly for a new home that previously served as their vacation getaway. With the resulting carbon footprint for a mansion of this size, we're certain the former first family is struggling to identify appropriate offsets, you know, since the fate of the planet is in the balance.

Fortunately, Barack and Michelle are in the process of taking significant steps to ward off total planetary destruction. To ensure we had the most timely information possible, the Obamas provided the following list of carbon cutting steps to us via an Airbus 380.

• Forced electric shock therapy for CNN anchors will be reduced to two nights a week.
  
• Secret service personnel will begin taking shifts riding the power generating bicycle.
  
• On Tuesdays, only the deep end of the pool will be heated.
  
• Barack and Michelle promise to fly together for grocery shopping trips to Hawaii.
  
• Instead of charcoal for the charcoal pit, the chefs will burn Biden-for-President signs.
  
• Ice from the fjords of Norway will no longer be flown to Martha's Vineyard to chill the Armand de Brignac Champagne. Instead the Obamas will take the champagne to Norway.

The Obamas must have complete confidence that these actions will result in significant carbon reductions. How else could you explain buying a retirement mansion on the ocean. You know, the ocean that will rise and wipe out humanity in only a few years.

Confederacy of Drones wrote: The Obama's spent ... On Tuesday's, only the deep end of the pool will be heated ... the chef's will burn Biden-for-President signs. ... Instead the Obama's will take the champagne to Norway.The Obama's must have

Begging the pardon of a native English-speaker, but why are you using possessive apostrophe-followed-by-S, where you clearly mean plural (just the S)? Should not it be "The Obamas ... On Tuesdays only ... the chefs" and so on? These are too many to be a typo -- did I miss a directive ordering the attack on the enemy's very means of communications the better to Smash the Patriarchy™?

Komrades, you all got it wrong!

Didn't you see NYT's recent transmission?

The Gray Lady wrote:... Once Messiah Hussein Obama affixed His signature to the mansion purchase contract, He turned around and addressed personkind's planetary kollektive with the following historically unprecedented oration:
"[highlight=#ffff00]This[/highlight] was the moment when [highlight=#ffff00]the rise of the oceans began to slow[/highlight] and our planet began to heal."

While at that...

Confederacy of Drones wrote:... Ice from the fjords of Norway .. to chill the Armand de Brignac Champagne ...

But what about Dijon mustard? And arugula?

Genosse Dummkopf wrote:Komrades, you all got it wrong!

Didn't you see NYT's recent transmission?

The Gray Lady wrote:... Once Messiah Hussein Obama affixed His signature to the mansion purchase contract, He turned around and addressed personkind's planetary kollektive with the following historically unprecedented oration:
"[highlight=#ffff00]This[/highlight] was the moment when [highlight=#ffff00]the rise of the oceans began to slow[/highlight] and our planet began to heal."

        Mystery item No. 1

      Hide it back  (Turn mouse upside down and click. If that doesn't work, try standing on your head)

See Komrades, the messiah Obama said he would stop the rise of the oceans and he did. It is now safe for ALL of us to buy $8 MILLION dollar mansions on beachfront property. Hallelujah, and PBUH to Zero for changing scary GLOBAL WARMING back to the weather again.

No thanks to evil POTUS Trump who is a DENIER.

Ahhh CIZ! 'pelipsky has so missed your ball bustin'. Like Genosse D just toss you that soft ball and wham! that Red Hammer swingin' CIZ knocked the leather off. causing 'pelipsky to laugh out loud in response to GD's windup. Your "Trump's Hitler,Stalin, Mao, AND Pol Pot in his slaughter Denial" ending was the sound of the casings ripping holding the leather together. ...now there's a thought!

Just pure Clara Illbustyourballs Zetkin bustin' it.

forelock tug,
Jackalopelipsky
#BR 549

Wow! Who knew that our esteemed Komrade Mikhail "Global Warminsk" Lysenkomann is such a masterful vocalizer?

jackalopelipsky wrote:Ahhh CIZ! 'pelipsky has so missed your ball bustin'. Like Genosse D just toss you that soft ball and wham! that Red Hammer swingin' CIZ knocked the leather off. causing 'pelipsky to laugh out loud in response to GD's windup. Your "Trump's Hitler,Stalin, Mao, AND Pol Pot in his slaughter Denial" ending was the sound of the casings ripping holding the leather together. ...now there's a thought!

Just pure Clara Illbustyourballs Zetkin bustin' it.

forelock tug,
Jackalopelipsky
#BR 549

TY Komrade jackalopelipsky. My favorite thing about TPC is the komraldery. Hard to find time for ball bustin when you are fortunate enough to live where you can have a spring AND fall crop of beets.

As I toil in the beet field I dream of the progress floorward into the GWONT where unnecessary polluting tractors and barns will once again be MULE barns. A lot of reflecting can occur while staring at the rear end of a mule all day long. Adding new songs to my beet toiling repertoire. Nothing like singing to make the day go by ..........

Clara Illbustyourballs Zetkin wrote:

jackalopelipsky wrote:Ahhh CIZ! 'pelipsky has so missed your ball bustin'. Like Genosse D just toss you that soft ball and wham! that Red Hammer swingin' CIZ knocked the leather off. causing 'pelipsky to laugh out loud in response to GD's windup. Your "Trump's Hitler,Stalin, Mao, AND Pol Pot in his slaughter Denial" ending was the sound of the casings ripping holding the leather together. ...now there's a thought!

Just pure Clara Illbustyourballs Zetkin bustin' it.

forelock tug,
Jackalopelipsky
#BR 549

TY Komrade jackalopelipsky. My favorite thing about TPC is the komraldery. Hard to find time for ball bustin when you are fortunate enough to live where you can have a spring AND fall crop of beets.

As I toil in the beet field I dream of the progress floorward into the GWONT where unnecessary polluting tractors and barns will once again be MULE barns. A lot of reflecting can occur while staring at the rear end of a mule all day long. Adding new songs to my beet toiling repertoire. Nothing like singing to make the day go by ..........

CIZ, have you run this non-tractor Agrarian Utopia by Ivan the Stakhanovets who is both Ambassador to Texazistan AND Tractor Barn #2's CEO/Employee? He may not be fully on board for this Pol Pot version of Beet Field Agrarian Utopia of gray mule team farmin'.

'pelipsky

mi wrote:

Confederacy of Drones wrote: The Obama's spent ... On Tuesday's, only the deep end of the pool will be heated ... the chef's will burn Biden-for-President signs. ... Instead the Obama's will take the champagne to Norway.The Obama's must have

Begging the pardon of a native English-speaker, but why are you using possessive apostrophe-followed-by-S, where you clearly mean plural (just the S)?

Ahh comrade, this was actually a test. Just a clever way to flush out grammer Nazis. Go to gulag.

Will Dorian spare Martha's Vineyard and the Obama's new mansion? Surge water pounding the shoreline could change the static environment of our betters. Tides could shift unexpectedly undermining the very foundation of Liberal Culture.

The Cube Weather Van will be on the scene of this Climate Change Dram-a with updates.

'oelipsky

jackalopelipsky wrote:Will Dorian spare Martha's Vineyard and the Obama's new mansion? ...

Plus, Martha's Vineyard is an island, ja?
And I heard, islands occasionally capsize, no?