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Have You Been a Good Prog this Year?

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  • Did you sell your roomy comfortable car to buy a Prius?
  • Did you trade all of your guns in for cash?
  • Did you take that cash and donate it to habitat for humanity?
  • Do you compost all of your lawn clippings?
  • Did you lobby your representatives to raise your taxes and increase government spending?
  • Did you live without air conditioning?
  • Did you teach your children that America is an evil industrial country that will destroy the planet if they don't become a low consumption nation like the Congo?
  • Did you ride your bicycle to work in one hundred degree heat this summer, and did you make sure to wear your bike helmet?
  • Did you make sure that your children have all the condoms they need?
  • Did you throw out your hair dryer?
  • Did you forego all vegetables that are not organically or locally grown?
  • Are you teaching your children that property ownership and rich people are evil?
  • And are you teaching your children that all corporations are evil and Castro is a good person because he brought free health care to Cuba, and Che Guevara was a hero?
  • Did you stay out of Wal-Mart?
  • Have you only used one square of toilet paper in the bathroom?
Now, be honest when evaluating yourself, because the day will come when Big Brother will be watching everything you do. You might as well learn how to be a good prog, now.

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I save all my urine in jars, then I recycle it in the coffee maker in the lunch room at Party HQ.

(What? Don't tell me you didn't notice)

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Now that's above and beyond the call of nature.

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It appears that Fraulein Pulloskies and her friend do not use too much air conditioning!

(I wonder if Gossip Cop is One of Us™?)


Click Here to see the shocking picture!






censorship of steamy images provided courtesy of the 23rd Regiment of Public Morals Guardians. -Col. 7.62

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I have been screaming "RAAAAACIST" at anyone who spreads the lie that the economy is bad. For some reason, I've been losing my voice a lot lately. Must be because I am so outraged by the racism and bigotry of unemployed people whose homes have been foreclosed upon. Yeah, that's it.

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That is so true O-peeps. Those ungrateful unemployed proles should be thanking Obama.

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Leninka wrote:
  • Did you sell your roomy comfortable car to buy a Prius?
  • Did you trade all of your guns in for cash?
  • Did you take that cash and donate it to habitat for humanity?
  • Do you compost all of your lawn clippings?
  • Did you lobby your representatives to raise your taxes and increase government spending?
  • Did you live without air conditioning?
  • Did you teach your children that America is an evil industrial country that will destroy the planet if they don't become a low consumption nation like the Congo?
  • Did you ride your bicycle to work in one hundred degree heat this summer, and did you make sure to wear your bike helmet?
  • Did you make sure that your children have all the condoms they need?
  • Did you throw out your hair dryer?
  • Did you forego all vegetables that are not organically or locally grown?
  • Are you teaching your children that property ownership and rich people are evil?
  • And are you teaching your children that all corporations are evil and Castro is a good person because he brought free health care to Cuba, and Che Guevara was a hero?
  • Did you stay out of Wal-Mart?
  • Have you only used one square of toilet paper in the bathroom?
Now, be honest when evaluating yourself, because the day will come when Big Brother will be watching everything you do. You might as well learn how to be a good prog, now.


Comradess Leninka!
You forgot the following:

  • Have you a composting toilet?
  • Did you utilize ALL the "stimulus" money allowed for "Caulk and Clunk", "Cash for Clunkers" (buying only Party-approved Government Motors vehicle)
  • Replaced all light bulbs with (slow to warm-up, mercury-filled) environmentally correct "green" CF bulbs?
  • Bought ONLY organically grown produce and free-range products with your Food Stamps and WIC cards?
Unless these are added, I am afeared that our proles might become "fast and loose" with their lifestyles, and wander from the path of "true progessivism™", and will seriously delay the acheivement of the "Socialist World of Next Tuesday™"

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Well, I err, umm, I am sure that, err uh uh . . . I demand an investigation! These rules and not consistent and through enough. Any prole worth an Obama Wit ™ , would be able to sneak around them. Why, see here, even Comarde Boris found more rules which benevolent government needs to mandate and enforce. We are supposed to have "smart recycling cans", which are smarter than any proles reichwingers, are we not?

Now, about that Prius . . . I did not receive my free government Cash for Clunkers coupon before they were all gone. I demand an investigation!

Who said I had a gun??!! I demand an investigation!

Hab-a- who?? What lawn?? Taxes?! Who has air conditioning??!!!

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Leninka wrote:
  • Did you sell your roomy comfortable car to buy a Prius?
    I ride a bike.
  • Did you trade all of your guns in for cash?
  • That is a sticky one. I got rid of my personal arms, but retain an armory in the bunker.
  • Did you take that cash and donate it to habitat for humanity?
  • No, but I did spend it on hookers and blow, thus supporting female and minority owned businesses.
  • Do you compost all of your lawn clippings?
  • I live on a boat.
  • Did you lobby your representatives to raise your taxes and increase government spending?
  • Regularly.
  • Did you live without air conditioning?
  • I live near Seattle. What is this air conditioning of which you speak of, and what do people use it for?
  • Did you teach your children that America is an evil industrial country that will destroy the planet if they don't become a low consumption nation like the Congo?
  • I have no children, put I put up some flyers.
  • Did you ride your bicycle to work in one hundred degree heat this summer, and did you make sure to wear your bike helmet?
  • See the part about living near Seattle. Temperatures go over 60?
  • Did you make sure that your children have all the condoms they need?
  • No kids, but did give money to Planned Parenthood.
  • Did you throw out your hair dryer?
  • Of course.
  • Did you forego all vegetables that are not organically or locally grown?
  • Are there any other kind?
  • Are you teaching your children that property ownership and rich people are evil?
  • I am feeling discriminated against because I have no children.
  • And are you teaching your children that all corporations are evil and Castro is a good person because he brought free health care to Cuba, and Che Guevara was a hero?
  • I denounce Leninka for assuming everyone has children!
  • Did you stay out of Wal-Mart?
  • No, but I was there to protest.
  • Have you only used one square of toilet paper in the bathroom?
I reuse my toilet paper several times.

Now, be honest when evaluating yourself, because the day will come when Big Brother will be watching everything you do. You might as well learn how to be a good prog, now.

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Colonel, I can not speak for Leninka but I shall speak for her. You are just a most glorious example of a fine Progdomitte. I came so nearly close to shedding a tear, as I read your humbly proud example of what we should all strive for.

p.s.: as for the children denouncement of Leninka - tisk tisk... surely you have neighborly children, nephews, nieces or SOMEONE you can set an example for. If not, go to your freak'n area government school and get involved. And don't give me any of that boat BS.

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Comrade Pulloskies, I am Involved(TM) with the local schools. Why just this last week, I sent a squad of revolutionaries to teach them the finer points of identifying and purging cultural counterrevolutionary spies. It was so cute, on the playground they started playing Che and Capitalist Swine.

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Colonel 7.62 wrote:
Leninka wrote:
  • Did you sell your roomy comfortable car to buy a Prius?
    I ride a bike.
  • Did you trade all of your guns in for cash?
  • That is a sticky one. I got rid of my personal arms, but retain an armory in the bunker.
  • Did you take that cash and donate it to habitat for humanity?
  • No, but I did spend it on hookers and blow, thus supporting female and minority owned businesses.
  • Do you compost all of your lawn clippings?
  • I live on a boat.
  • Did you lobby your representatives to raise your taxes and increase government spending?
  • Regularly.
  • Did you live without air conditioning?
  • I live near Seattle. What is this air conditioning of which you speak of, and what do people use it for?
  • Did you teach your children that America is an evil industrial country that will destroy the planet if they don't become a low consumption nation like the Congo?
  • I have no children, put I put up some flyers.
  • Did you ride your bicycle to work in one hundred degree heat this summer, and did you make sure to wear your bike helmet?
  • See the part about living near Seattle. Temperatures go over 60?
  • Did you make sure that your children have all the condoms they need?
  • No kids, but did give money to Planned Parenthood.
  • Did you throw out your hair dryer?
  • Of course.
  • Did you forego all vegetables that are not organically or locally grown?
  • Are there any other kind?
  • Are you teaching your children that property ownership and rich people are evil?
  • I am feeling discriminated against because I have no children.
  • And are you teaching your children that all corporations are evil and Castro is a good person because he brought free health care to Cuba, and Che Guevara was a hero?
  • I denounce Leninka for assuming everyone has children!
  • Did you stay out of Wal-Mart?
  • No, but I was there to protest.
  • Have you only used one square of toilet paper in the bathroom?
I reuse my toilet paper several times.

Now, be honest when evaluating yourself, because the day will come when Big Brother will be watching everything you do. You might as well learn how to be a good prog, now.

Colonel Comarade NATO Round.....

You are an inspiration to the Collective!
I especially admire your reuse of toilet paper, going far beyond the basic requirements of Comradess Crow!


I myself combine functions by using the Party™ paper NYT after reading "All the News that fits Our Views", and then recycling the results.

The dustmen seem a little miffed at this, but I keep trying to convince them this is the "green" thing to do!

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Comrade Boris, I am touched by your admiration.

However, the 7.62 is not the vile capitalist NATO round, but the good socialist 7.62x54r round that is even to this day used in Russian machine guns and sniper rifles. The oldest cartridge still issued by any military and in use since 1891. Take THAT capitalist swine!

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Colonel 7.62 wrote:Comrade Boris, I am touched by your admiration.

However, the 7.62 is not the vile capitalist NATO round, but the good socialist 7.62x54r round that is even to this day used in Russian machine guns and sniper rifles. The oldest cartridge still issued by any military and in use since 1891. Take THAT capitalist swine!

Colonel Comrade 7.62....

I am overjoyed to know that this round is your moniker!

And a fine round it must be, having brought low many enemies of the Rodina across the ages!


I also understand of this round that the bullet jacketing is made with an Arsenic processing, which makes it more effective?

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Thank you for the clear clarification, Comrade Colonel (or is it just Colonel, I keep forget protocol???). MY point was, for you not to be into the public bashing of such a loyal Comrade as Leninka. (she will notify Pinkie and then a whole slew of *&%$# will transpire, not to mention the throwing of shovels).

I too am very impressed with your recycling toidy paper. Have I previously mentioned that I too am recycling with Memo paper?? It makes me feel so green, as it should all the comrades! (and I have a request into the Paper Czar for kinder and gentler Memo paper).

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I haven't denounced anyone in about 5 minutes. Leninka is free to counter my denouncement with another denouncement, and if the denouncement quota is exceeded, then it moves to a show trial round, with the person holding the most denouncements being the defendant. Simple is it not?

In fact, if Leninka is aggrieved, I will submit myself to a show trial, because the damned wormhole isn't working right, the phonebooth is on the fritz, and somebody wrecked the DeLorean again to demonstrate my loyalty to The Party(TM).

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piffle! I denounce all of your self important denouncements!!

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I denounce Inner Comrade #47 (there is no problem that cannot be solved through the proper application of a self important denouncement).

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Colonel 7.62 wrote: (there is no problem that cannot be solved through the proper application of a self important denouncement).

humm, let me ponder . . yes... I agree and undenounce my denouncement. There is nothing as important as self-importance. How would we otherwise know how progressive, progressives are; thus the importance of my ourselves.

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Damn straight. Now excuse me while I go stick this "I don't shop at Wal Mart sticker on the back of my tank)

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Comrade Putout wrote:It appears that Fraulein Pulloskies and her friend do not use too much air conditioning!

(I wonder if Gossip Cop is One of Us™?)


Click Here to see the shocking picture!






censorship of steamy images provided courtesy of the 23rd Regiment of Public Morals Guardians. -Col. 7.62


Image Colonel 7.62,

I suspect you were offended at how Comrade Putout turned Frau into a wanton slut.


Comrade Putout,

I DENOUNCE you for making Fraulein into a wanton slut! Please keep all of your breast depictions in the context of making a political statement!

Image

I can see the genius in much of your work, especially when it's directed towards ridiculing progressive fools, but I can see why you were censored. I, too, wasn't quite sure what you were doing to the Fraulein.

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Colonel 7.62,

Thank you for filling out the questionnaire. Once global warming comes, you will find out what it means to ride a bike in 100 degree heat. The words of the Goracle are true. Do not discount the prophesy.

Comrade Badanoff,

Yes, there are many things to add to the list, and you have shown up the rest of us with your suggestions. I was hoping the rest of us would also come up with more suggestions, but, no. What do they do? They get into squabbles about other things. Typical.

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I denounce being portrayed as a "wanton slut". Any such portrayals are not me but some impersonator impersonating myself and mine. I will, of course, get my government provider lawyer and sue for millions of dollars, which will of course, be divided almost equally among the equal in the collective.

and I denounce WalMart.

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And you will be the beneficiary of Dear Leader's protective stance against tort reform, Frau, as we are the party of litigious happy lawyers. Sue one and sue all, I say.

I just love medical lawsuits. They are my favorite. As you know, the medical industry is a racket, and I'm glad to see that Dear Leader will be causing premiums to rise so high that doctors and hospitals will inadvertently be thrown back into the free market not only for doctors and hospitals, but for savvy attorneys, too. The more doctors are sued, the more money goes into the pockets of lawyers, and the more money they get, the more goes to the party.

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Leninka wrote:
  • Have you only used one square of toilet paper in the bathroom?

What? And be for wasting such good textile when there is much clothing to be made? AllAh has made for us the two hands so one may be used for such things.
Last edited by Mrs Al Czarweary on 8/29/2010, 10:49 am, edited 1 time in total.
Reason for editing this post: The Colonel was for making wormhole on my post and I make for fixing.

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Mrs Al,

I will never think of you in the same way again. No, really. We love you, no matter.

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Leninka... you make for me the blushing with such pour outing of LOVE!!!

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Errr Mrs. Czarweary. I did a stoopid. And I soundly denounce myself for it.

You see, I clicked "edit" instead of "reply" to your post. All well and good, I caught the error. But in catching the error, I deleted part of your post and didn't notice it, until after I saved the edit.

I would apologize, except as a Made Progressive, it was clearly someone else's fault. I will lay off the blaming of Bush for this one, and instead blame my wormhole operator who has the Juice sounding last name of "Horowitz". Suffice it to say, Comrade Horowitz has been purged.

You will find a properly large sum of OPM, a case of vodka, and some rather decadent chocolates from Switzerland in your cave. As ummm a random gift. Yes that's it. You just happened to be on my secret "Gift O' The Month" club.

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What's going on here? Did Mrs Al Czarweary pay you off to delete her post? I wonder. Talk about double your benefits, double your fun. I at least hope Mrs Al's toilet tissue is double ply.

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Nobody paid me off to delete her post. Unless you pay me more to tell you who may or may not have paid me. And then I can just use the wormhole to cover things up with. Which I could also use to recover the post. In fact, no post was deleted. You just haven't been made aware of the proper timeline in which nothing ever happened to the post. What are you, some sort of timecriminal?

Anyway, did I ever tell you about the time I saw a flying saucer? And Elvis playing golf with Bigfoot by Loch Ness? With the monster being part of the water hazard? And oh look! *scurries off and hides in bunker*

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I think there is a job for you as Dear Leader's Press Secretary. Are you interested?

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Hmmm hmmm hmmm
I much enjoyed the chocolate, Colonel. As for case of vodka I think Misha has been for taking of such thing as I was hearing big party of underwives band Burka Babes and there was much of the glass crashing breaking sound and many of the laughter. I am not for minding of such things as I have not been pestered by underwives for all of this day. And I have been for fixing of such postings so there is to be no harming.

But please to tell me of time you were of seeing flying saucer. There has been much of the saucers flying since the case of vodka has gone missing.

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Leninka wrote:I think there is a job for you as Dear Leader's Press Secretary. Are you interested?
I think that job may already be part of my Direktorate. Some of the claims coming out of the White House clearly violate normal understandings of time and space.

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Good idea, having a wormhole charlatan operator may come in handy for Obama in 2012. He can just go back to the inauguration of 2008 for a "do over."

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I see the Colonel is evading Mrs Al Czarweary's flying saucer question.

Colonel,

Shame on you! If there is anyone you owe an explanation to, it's Mrs Al Czarweary!

This is what happens when you put your finger/clicker on the wrong trigger/button.

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*sigh* The flying saucers. Very well...

They are part of a secret CIA covert ops program designed to locate and destroy muslim freedom fighters. I did not wish to discuss such with poor Mrs. Czarweary, for fear that she would be unduly alarmed. Rest assured, the finest socialist minds in this part of Washington State are hard at work forming committees of study, and ensuring we have the perfect balance of diversity before working on the problem of creating a focus group, which will create an organization, which will in turn give rise to non profit, which in turn will lobby congress for money, so that they may go and raise awareness of the flying saucer problem.

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Very well, then. I'm sure Mrs Al Czarweary will understand. Thank you for enlightening us.

Actually, that's a brilliant explanation. Well done, Colonel.

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Are YOU flying saucer aware Comrade Leninka?

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Not at all, Colonel. I can barely pick up Laika's signals through my permed hair as it is.

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Excellent Comrade Beavis.

However, are you recycling those dollars to purchase all of your carbon credits? Surely, the Goracle would be very pleased to see you do that at the Chicago Flatulence Climate Exchange

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Leninka wrote:
  • Have you only used one square of toilet paper in the bathroom?
I thought the ration was two.


 
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