Help the Comrade Scratchanitch-

I have searched the internet time and time again trying to find that quote I read long ago from either Lenin or Stalin along the line of-

"When you take over a village, find the stupidest, meanest man in town and PUT HIM IN CHARGE".

Actually, I remember the quote as "meanest, stupidest SOB in town".

Anybody know where to find this quote?

Never heard that one, but that would explain Dear Leaders method of Czar and Cabinet appointments.

It definitely sounds more Stalinish than Lenin...

Matter of fact, I'm taking this quote to the Court House tomorrow and demand I be proclaimed Commissar Mayor for life!

Brilliant!!! I have a future!

I won't give away your identity but, hey ... Leonard, is that you? Or are you plagiarizing questions?

-Commissar of Acceptable Questioning-

It's me alright. If you checked my profile here, you can see that I am not hiding. The link to the AFRA website is there.

I am a HUGE real life trouble-maker from way back.

You also quickly found out that I wasn't kidding that I have been looking for that quote for a long time.

Also note that I am almost as ugly in real life as my Avatar.

Now, can I have my pseudo-identity back?

Comrade Vladimir

You have breached security directive #23746A by divulging Zimbabwean State Secrets. How do you think I became Dear Leader and Beloved Tyrant of the People's Utopia of Zimbabwe?

I hereby declare you a non-person. You have never existed.

Amandla!

Obamugabe

I have news for you Obamugabe- I ain't in Zimbabwe.

And what's more, I have dealt with a lot worse tyrants than you-

Amerikan CPS workers!

If we shipped a batch of them over there, they would have you hiding behind your throne crying in utter terror and sucking your finger.

The quote does sound familiar but I can't place it. Could be from a movie. I remember liking it at the time. Hey, I still like it, in context of course.

Comrade Buffoon wrote:Never heard that one, but that would explain Dear Leaders method of Czar and Cabinet appointments.

It definitely sounds more Stalinish than Lenin...

Matter of fact, I'm taking this quote to the Court House tomorrow and demand I be proclaimed Commissar Mayor for life!

Speaking of Dear Leader's cabinet-

Vladimir_Scratchanitch wrote:I have news for you Obamugabe- I ain't in Zimbabwe.
And what's more, I have dealt with a lot worse tyrants than you-
Amerikan CPS workers!
If we shipped a batch of them over there, they would have you hiding behind your throne crying in utter terror and sucking your finger.

Prole SnatchofItch,
Look into my eye.... look closely comrade... You dare to question the Peoples Leader of Zimbabwe? Have you lost your mind? Hanging out at Jiffi-Lobo again, huh? We have places for you comrade! Dark, dark, places in the recesses of Siberia. Thoughtcriminals such as you are no match for The Party. Who do you think you are Joe McCarthy all wrapped in Americana looking to witch hunt some "commies", you saw how we maligned that fool didn't you?


NOW DENOUNCE THESE WORDS YOU HAVE SPOKEN IN VEIN TO OUR COMRADE OBAMUGABE!!!

OR PREPARE FOR THE WRATH OF THE PARTY!!!

Prole SnatchofItch,
Look into my eye.... look closely comrade... You dare to question the Peoples Leader of Zimbabwe?

--->Nope. Didn't question him at all. I told him. There is a difference.


Have you lost your mind?

---->Yes I have. I know I left it around here somewhere.

Hanging out at Jiffi-Lobo again, huh?


---->Yes, and they hired me to do their new logo.

We have places for you comrade! Dark, dark, places in the recesses of Siberia.

----->Spent 6 years in Alaska. You know- NORTHEAST of Siberia.


Thoughtcriminals such as you are no match for The Party. Who do you think you are Joe McCarthy all wrapped in Americana looking to witch hunt some "commies", you saw how we maligned that fool didn't you?

----->Yeah, and old Joe was absolutely RIGHT.

"I believe that if the people of this nation fully understood what Congress has done to them over the last 49 years, they would move on Washington; they would not wait for an election... It adds up to a preconceived plan to destroy the economic and social independence of the United States!" -George W. Malone (1890-1961) U.S. Senator (Nevada) 1957 Source: speaking before Congress -He said that 50 years ago.


"The individual is handicapped by coming face to face with a conspiracy so monstrous he cannot believe it exists.''
- J. Edgar Hoover Source: speaking of communism (1956)




NOW DENOUNCE THESE WORDS YOU HAVE SPOKEN IN VEIN TO OUR COMRADE OBAMUGABE!!!

--->That's VAIN. A vein is what blood flows through

OR PREPARE FOR THE WRATH OF THE PARTY!!![/quote]

Been there, done that, got the T-Shirt.

And I haven't even told you about my ex, the SUPER BITCH. Wrath, smath.

Speaking of Dear Leader's cabinet-

Yanno Shovel 4 U, I know it's not the motif around here but.... I think they might look better with Mickey Mouse ears.

"Who's the leader of the club
that's made for you and me?
M-I-C-K-E-Y--M-O-U-S-E"

Can we make nominations?????!

I don't have the resources at my finger tips, but I am thinking this sounds like most any of our most glorious Democratic, umm, like Alan Grayson, Rahm 'the finger' Emanuel, Hillary is no soft cookie, my comrades!

Comrade Shovel, again to put the ax in the head with a most provocative, lovely photo of our loyal government regime. I am so humbly proud.

Party? Did someone mention a party?? I am available and have plenty of beet vodka and cheese doodles!

Mickey Mouse? I don't see Annette Funicello in there. Where's Annette? I liked Annette.

Leninka wrote:Mickey Mouse? I don't see Annette Funicello in there. Where's Annette? I liked Annette.

OH MY STALIN!! Some prole dared to openly poor-mouth Comrade Obamugabe??!!!
What is the collective coming too?? Think of the children! I, too, must denounce comrade itch for being racist! That is the only sane, rational explanation of why anyone would refute Comrade Obamugabe.

...Amerikan CPS workers!
If we shipped a batch of them over there, they would have you hiding behind your throne crying in utter terror and sucking your finger.

If I didn't know any better, "comrade" (if that is your real name), I'd swear I just saw a veiled threat against the freely elected leader of the People's Utopia of Zimbabwe! We are not amused.

----->Yeah, and old Joe was absolutely RIGHT.

Comrades, his beet has done slipped of the cracker. Everyone knows that McCarthy was nothing more than a counter-revolutionary enemy of the state. Black Marias are en route as we speak comrade. Don't bother to run, you'll just get re-educated while being tired.

"100% Infidel" said- OH MY STALIN!! Some prole dared to openly poor-mouth Comrade Obamugabe??!!!

--->> Didn't bad mouth him at all. Merely let him know that his brand of terror is a mosquito bite compared to what Amerikan CPS workers do.

What is the collective coming too?? Think of the children! I, too, must denounce comrade itch for being racist! That is the only sane, rational explanation of why anyone would refute Comrade Obamugabe.

--->>Didn't refute him at all. Merely told him how it is.

If I didn't know any better, "comrade" (if that is your real name), I'd swear I just saw a veiled threat against the freely elected leader of the People's Utopia of Zimbabwe! We are not amused.

---->> No veiled threat at all. I am not in charge of shipping Amerikkan CPS workers anywhere.

I am however, on the record for attempting to send Amerikkkan CPS workers to prison for their COLOR OF LAW violations and Federal CAPITAL CRIMES.

----->Yeah, and old Joe was absolutely RIGHT.

Comrades, his beet has done slipped of the cracker. Everyone knows that McCarthy was nothing more than a counter-revolutionary enemy of the state.

--->>Yes McCarthy WAS an enemy of the state, that state being the USSR and it's satellites. The difference between war heroes and war criminals highly depends on WHO won the war. The USSA outspent the USSR into oblivion. (The USSA is now not far behind. And we are now mucking around in the USSR's "Vietnam" that finished THEM off)

Black Marias are en route as we speak comrade. Don't bother to run, you'll just get re-educated while being tired.

---->>Already been re-educated. It made me a hell of a lot meaner and smarter.

Vladimir_Scratchanitch -We've been discussing Jiffy Lobo for a long time, but I never had the chance to actually think of the logo. Thanks for reminding me.

May I suggest warm clothing, Comrade.
I have been where you are headed...

Red Square wrote:Vladimir_Scratchanitch -We've been discussing Jiffy Lobo for a long time, but I never had the chance to actually think of the logo. Thanks for reminding me.

Thank you Comrade Red Square. I had actually done that several months ago because I was going to comment on some discussion here at the time.

I hope you post that in the Clipart section so people can use it as needed.

Com Scratchanitch

Shovel 4 U wrote:May I suggest warm clothing, Comrade.
I have been where you are headed...

As I already said, I spent SIX YEARS NORTH and east of Siberia. And the snowmachines we used went up to 105 mph.


And as I said, "Already been there, done that, and got the T-Shirt"

Comrade Itch

You have Offended the State. Which is Me. I am Offended. In fact I am Pissed Off.

From now on you are not only a Non Person, you are an Enemy of the State of Zimbabwe.

Which is the forerunner of the Glorious Global People's State of Next Tuesday.

May I remind you that the Collective is truly Global.

(If you have forgotten, lock yourself in you gulag cell and sing The Internationale in Russian and Esperanto 271 times. THINK of the words. In the Glorious World of Next Tuesday THERE WILL BE NO BORDERS!)

So do not think the fact that you are not in Zimbabwe will save your sorry kulak ass.

The State Has Spoken!

Amandla!

Obamugabe

ThePeoplesComrade wrote:

The attachment scratch.gif is no longer available

Unauthorized Reference to Inner Party Official

Gulag #958327

Total Re-Education

I have been accused of secret crimes before. So I am supposed to know by osmosis? Again?

Yawn.

So far, I have patiently deflected every false allegation made.

When might it occur to you mere Outer Party Members, that the next dog that pees in your yard might be rabid?

Consider that Com Red Square is my ally, and tremble that I may lose patience. You may have a-

Obamugabe wrote:Enemy of the State of Zimbabwe

Speaking of T-shirts, this could make a nice one.

Do you think it might sell?

I can, of course, make a shorter version:

Obamugabe wrote:Comrade Itch

You have Offended the State. Which is Me. I am Offended. In fact I am Pissed Off.

From now on you are not only a Non Person, you are an Enemy of the State of Zimbabwe.

Which is the forerunner of the Glorious Global People's State of Next Tuesday.

May I remind you that the Collective is truly Global.

(If you have forgotten, lock yourself in you gulag cell and sing The Internationale in Russian and Esperanto 271 times. THINK of the words. In the Glorious World of Next Tuesday THERE WILL BE NO BORDERS!)

So do not think the fact that you are not in Zimbabwe will save your sorry kulak ass.

The State Has Spoken!

Amandla!

Obamugabe

Oh piffle. You sound just like that pimple ass Kadaffy.

Last spring, some broad in the UKKK said Michael Savage was banned from England. Never mind that he had never been there or was planning to go.

Not to be left out, I emailed the goofy broad and demanded that I TOO be banned from England, even though I had never been there or ever planned to go.

I did tell her I regretted that the US saved Britain from the Nazis because if the Nazis had conquered England, they would have undoubtedly improved the place.

Red Square wrote:

Obamugabe wrote:Enemy of the State of Zimbabwe

Speaking of T-shirts, this could make a nice one.

Shirt_Enemy.jpg

Do you think it might sell?

Depends on the price. I wouldn't pay over 200 quadrillion for the Zimbabwe one.

Oh, now I see the ENEMY OF THE STATE one. It would be worth $19.95. On TV, maybe that would be a "WAIT THERE'S MORE! As a special offer for the first 100 callers, we will give you TWO at the same price! HURRY! ORDER NOW!

Just a reminder: "proving" any accusation false does not impress the bureaucracy. Accusations, in and of themselves, have considerable weight. Once an accusation has been made, it must be resolved through corrective processing (depending on who made the accusation and against whom the accusation is made). Remember comrade, we are all equal ... but

Shovel 4 U wrote:

Leninka wrote:Mickey Mouse? I don't see Annette Funicello in there. Where's Annette? I liked Annette.

Copy of Copy of Copy of barack_obama_administration.jpg

Thank you, Comrade Shovel 4 U.

Comrades,

I must say, I am enjoying this spirited discussion about dictators, Jiffi-Lobo, and power.
Comrade Scratchanitch, you have certainly scratched an itch in all of us. Congratulations. Now off to Jiffi-Lobo with you, you old coot.

ThePeoplesComrade wrote:Just a reminder: "proving" any accusation false does not impress the bureaucracy. Accusations, in and of themselves, have considerable weight. Once an accusation has been made, it must be resolved through corrective processing (depending on who made the accusation and against whom the accusation is made). Remember comrade, we are all equal ... but

That's exactly how CPS works! The accusation is the PREPONDERANCE of the EVIDENCE. Been there done that and kicked their insolent, insane lying butts.

See "What Happens in the Fog"

Comrade Scratch,

Regarding the original topic of this thread, I haven't been able to find any referrences to your quote in question (and I have looked hard too). I would suggest to you that if no one comes forth to claim it that you claim it as your own. We can call it a "Scratch-n-ism" around the Collective™.

Ah yes, dear Comradette Leninka, as you speak for many (well, myself, at least, but THAT IS ENOUGH). There is nothing like watching a good 'discussion'.... almost as much enjoyment as a beheading, eh?

Why, I think it's time to open another vatbottle of Vodka. Bottoms up?

Whinny-da-PBUH wrote:Comrade Scratch,

Regarding the original topic of this thread, I haven't been able to find any referrences to your quote in question (and I have looked hard too). I would suggest to you that if no one comes forth to claim it that you claim it as your own. We can call it a "Scratch-n-ism" around the Collective™.

I would LOVE to claim it as my own, except I ain't Lenin and I ain't fighting the 1917 revolution.

I definitely read it somewhere along the line. Obviously when I was looking for something else.

Red Square wrote: Do you think it might sell?

I can, of course, make a shorter version:

I like the short version comrade Director. It has crossover potential. It would be a strong seller regardless which political Party is in power.

Fraulein Pulloskies wrote:Ah yes, dear Comradette Leninka, as you speak for many (well, myself, at least, but THAT IS ENOUGH). There is nothing like watching a good 'discussion'.... almost as much enjoyment as a beheading, eh?

Why, I think it's time to open another vatbottle of Vodka. Bottoms up?

Yes, we have had fun. I frequent Comments sections of newspapers and whatnot to educate people about Family Rights.

Every once in a while I get into a hotbed of fine folk who go straight for the jugular with the Alinsky Method. Iowa and California seems to be packed full of them.

Vladimir_Scratchanitch wrote:

See "What Happens in the Fog"

Ah yes, Mr. Itch - invisibility is a most treasured asset in State Living ™. When we are visible to the State, nothing good can come of it. I am now averting my eyes and covering my face. I was never here. Now to teach the children. Please order my "Invisible Family" pamphlet now (for your own good).

Damn, I just checked Zazzle and found lots of "Enemy of the State" shirts, although not as good as mine. The closest one is this, from some Brit - but it has way too much line spacing. Should I introduce mine as well? That shouldn't be perceived as plagiarism, yes, comrades?

https://www.zazzle.com/enemy_of_the_sta ... 3461494833\

Peoples Director, No one thought of it before you because it's always been in the collective consciousness.

Vladimir_Scratchanitch wrote: When might it occur to you mere Outer Party Members Equal Comrades, that the next dog that pees in your yard might be rabid?

Red Square wrote:Damn, I just checked Zazzle and found lots of "Enemy of the State" shirts, although not as good as mine. The closest one is this, from some Brit - but it has way too much line spacing. Should I introduce mine as well? That shouldn't be perceived as plagiarism, yes, comrades?

https://www.zazzle.com/enemy_of_the_sta ... 3461494833\

The law says you can't copyright a motto or saying. They have to be Trademarked. (For Real)

I just made a little adjustment. Should I also make this a shirt? Nah, Zazzle will remove it immediately for copyright infringement.

Excellent embellishment. Clarifies what jiffy lobo is all about for any new-coming proles. The drill bit is quite effective.

Leninka wrote:Excellent embellishment. Clarifies what jiffy lobo is all about for any new-coming proles. The drill bit is quite effective.

Some cultures would consider a drill bit in the head as Nirvana.

That is what we offer here at the Cube. Equally shared Nirvana for all.

~By the Way~


For the autistic artistic proles who are having so much fun with my avatar, here's a lot better copy

Red Square wrote: Should I introduce mine as well? That shouldn't be perceived as plagiarism, yes, comrades?

Supreme Peoples Director,

I just checked with Comrade Joe 'plugs' "Bite me" Bidon and he said that it would not be perceived as plagarism.

Here's another version (not as inclusive as the previous two):

Red Square wrote:Here's another version (not as inclusive as the previous two):

Shirt_Enemy_Soc_State.jpg

And oldie but goodie from my images bin-

Great Lenin's Ghost Peoples Director! This is brilliant! Dear Leader Obama will definitely approve, this will help us find those Neo-Kulaks who dare teabag Socialism!

Another Jiffi-Lobo for the Jiffi-Lobo....

eh

Igor Von Yugo wrote:

ScratchAnItch-Enemy_Of_The_State.jpg

There! See how much better the threats and character assassination gets with a good graphic?

Comrade Otis sent me this email transmission, which he can't post himself being in the middle of an undercover operation:

Comrade Otis wrote:Perhaps there could a be a big Jiffy-Lobo logo contest and the winner will get a free Jiffy-Lobo and have his work expropriated by the State.


This one works for me. Now can you do it in neon?
On an actual jiffy lobo storefront sign the drill-bit can spin around like a barbershop pole.

And as a warning to all those that would go to a non-union jiffy lobo shop this cartoon brings laughs and a caution:

Vladimir_Scratchanitch wrote:I did tell her I regretted that the US saved Britain from the Nazis because if the Nazis had conquered England, they would have undoubtedly improved the place.

[highlight=#ffffff]ttthhhh-wwwQUACK!!!

[/highlight]

As Commissar of Redistribution I hereby decree the T-shirt redistribution request valid as stated - without predjudice.

Vladimir_Scratchanitch wrote:....

Oh piffle.

I must denounce your usage of my verbiage wordage, "piffle ™ " which solely & exclusively belong to myself and which any comrade with his bratwurst and sauerkraut would know. But any gulag vacation shall be suspended due to your "spirited discussion" abilities and scratching techniques.

Fraulein Pulloskies wrote:

Vladimir_Scratchanitch wrote:....

Oh piffle.

I must denounce your usage of my verbiage wordage, "piffle ™ " which solely & exclusively belong to myself and which any comrade with his bratwurst and sauerkraut would know. But any gulag vacation shall be suspended due to your "spirited discussion" abilities and scratching techniques.

Sorry about the Trademark violation Herr fRaulein.

I was trying to make nice. When I said "piffle" what I wanted to say was "Bull$hit"

Anybody own the exclusive rights on "Bull$hit"?

If not then I CLAIM exclusive ownership of "Bull$hit"

I am sure our Latest Updated WH Daily Memo ™ does have " ™ " on most words, word usages and terms, but you are invited to submit a Special Word Request ™ in quadruplicate to the Gulag Manager & Pontification Czar ™ with copies sent to all Party Elite. We shall expect your request to be submitted and review with in the next 7 days 47 days to 63.9 months, whichever works out between our Daily/Monthly Mandatory ™ meetings and Official Denouncements ™ .

In the meantime, make yourself familiar with Office Party Etiquette and Prole Denouements ™ and the Liberating Rules of Jiffy-Lobo ™ .

Praise Obama! ™

OMG! This is nuts, I don't how you all keep up with this. This Vladimir sounds like a hateful Republican, I don't know if he's faking it or what but how do you people deal with this hate-speech? It makes my Birkenstocks sweat just reading it! I hope you feel better Vladimir, there's a lot of love out there in the world if you just open up your heart.

oxoxoxoxoxoxo
Peace Love & Flowers!

Itchy wrote:If not then I CLAIM exclusive ownership of "Bull$hit"

I denounce you for poor typing!

The word is spelled "Bu$hit"!

(Which describes stuff that emanates from Bu$Hitler)

60's Sweet Pea Flower wrote:OMG! This is nuts, I don't how you all keep up with this. This Vladimir sounds like a hateful Republican, I don't know if he's faking it or what but how do you people deal with this hate-speech? It makes my Birkenstocks sweat just reading it! I hope you feel better Vladimir, there's a lot of love out there in the world if you just open up your heart.

oxoxoxoxoxoxo
Peace Love & Flowers!

I assure you "60's Sweet Pea Flower", I am much worse than a "hateful rethuglican".

I am a grouchy old man who is 24,000 miles overdue on my

Obamugabe wrote:

Itchy wrote:If not then I CLAIM exclusive ownership of "Bull$hit"

I denounce you for poor typing!

The word is spelled "Bu$hit"!

(Which describes stuff that emanates from Bu$Hitler)

Oh, so now I am going to get englush spellun lessons from a Zimbabwean?

God Gaia help you if you count your money aloud.

Vladimir_Scratchanitch wrote:

60's Sweet Pea Flower wrote:OMG! This is nuts, I don't how you all keep up with this. This Vladimir sounds like a hateful Republican, I don't know if he's faking it or what but how do you people deal with this hate-speech? It makes my Birkenstocks sweat just reading it! I hope you feel better Vladimir, there's a lot of love out there in the world if you just open up your heart.

oxoxoxoxoxoxo
Peace Love & Flowers!

I assure you "60's Sweet Pea Flower", I am much worse than a "hateful rethuglican".

I am a grouchy old man who is 24,000 miles overdue on my

jiffy_lobo.png

That's o.k. sweet heart, we all have our needs, I sure hope you get that "Jiffi-Lobo" you need. I know when I'm feeling really grumpy, I just light some incense and spend a little time meditating and thinking happy thoughts. I don't know what "Jiffi-Lobo" is but I sure hope you get yours.

oxoxoxoxoxoxo
Peace Love & Flowers!

Vladimir_Scratchanitch wrote:

Obamugabe wrote:

Itchy wrote:If not then I CLAIM exclusive ownership of "Bull$hit"

I denounce you for poor typing!

The word is spelled "Bu$hit"!

(Which describes stuff that emanates from Bu$Hitler)

Oh, so now I am going to get englush spellun lessons from a Zimbabwean?

God Gaia help you if you count your money aloud.

RAAAACIST!
I denounce you for being a white male hetero racist pig!

Obamugabe wrote:RAAAACIST!
I denounce you for being a white male hetero racist pig!

Save your voice. Let the kid yell it for you-



Otherwise-

White- check
Male= check
Hetero- check
Pig- check
Racist- I DO NOT LIKE them Limey Canadians.

Oh my! Anything but the pig, they will be making bacon around here for sure to go with your "Jiffy-Lobo". That's what progressives do, we love to cook bacon, especially other peoples bacon.

Now, sweet heart, listen to me... take a deep breath and repeat after me:

ooooooooOOOOOOOOMMMMMMM......

now breath.... again....

ooooooooOOOOOOOOMMMMMMM......

breath.... one more time.....

ooooooooOOOOOOOOMMMMMMM......

relax....

60's Sweet Pea Flower wrote:
ooooooooOOOOOOOOMMMMMMM......

Uhhh yeah.

In 1985, I was sitting in the airport in Seattle waiting for my Alaska Airlines flight 61 to Anchorage, when I started hearing somebody groaning in pain behind me.

I spun around thinking somebody had a hell of a case of gas pains or something and here sat this freaky dude wearing a bedsheet and shaved head doing that ommm crap. I really thought he was going to throw up.

I said "What's the hell is your problem?".

He said "I am Harry Kristnya and I saying my prayer".

I said "So Harry are you asking God for ommm? That's pretty non specific."

He gave me a dirty look, got up and left.

There was always weird stuff in the Seattle airport. Like the Moonies and whatnot.

Why you so grim old man? You been swallerin' that diesel fuel again? Now I like to lay one on the hippies and commies just as much as the next feller, but boy howdy you got a fire in yer belly that's burnin' a swath right through this Socialist Paradise™.

You better watch out there mister, once these commies get you in the nearest Jiffi-Lobo you'll be singing a different tune.

Actually THIS is racist...

Lone Stage Grip wrote:Why you so grim old man? You been swallerin' that diesel fuel again? Now I like to lay one on the hippies and commies just as much as the next feller, but boy howdy you got a fire in yer belly that's burnin' a swath right through this Socialist Paradise™.

You better watch out there mister, once these commies get you in the nearest Jiffi-Lobo you'll be singing a different tune.

GOOD GAWD! I couldn't understand a word he said. Was this guy gelded instead of Jiffi-loboed?

I remember some noise like that on the AM radio in about 1962. Of course it wasn't as clear because we used the barbwire fence for an antenna.

Comrade Whoopie wrote:Actually THIS is racist...

The attachment thats true.gif is no longer available

Wow, that's a lot better version.

For some reason, I think of Farina with the rag ties in his hair in the Spanky and Our Gang once in a while.