Image

How Will the Government Shutdown Kill You? Your Story Here

User avatar
For example, we know the government shutdown will cause women to be exterminated. Not content to exterminate American women only through withholding funds for abortion, the Repugnantcans will seek to eliminate women everywhere. If you are a woman or if you know a woman, you've been warned.

User avatar
As I always say, "Keep your Boehner out of my Vagina! (if I had one)"

The Thuglicans hate everything that is not white, clean shaven with junk.

User avatar
Seems to me like the last time the government shut down, we were scared shitless that the universe was going to solidify back into one huge rock.

Then after several days, it became obvious that NOTHING HAPPENED and in fact, life was rapidly getting better for us working dudes.

It seems like THAT was the #1 reason they decided to open govt back up.

Can't have people realizing that govt does NOTHING good or useful.


User avatar
It's the RethugliKKKan version of Shovel Ready nutJobs.
I don't know how much more sickening they can be.

stoning.gif

User avatar
If the Government did shut down would it mean that I wouldn't be granted my $500.00 monthly food stamp ration? How would I buy my beer?!? I'd have to spend what cash I have on actual food??? The horror! I AM NOT AN ANIMAL!

User avatar
Good one, Fraulein. Very alarming. It reminds me of the classic standard that if we don't vote, another brother or sister will receive "an assault wound".

INGSOC, it's worse than you think. You may be forced to get a job to afford your own beer. This, of course, means that your having a job would be precisely due to a woman not having a job which means even more women will die at the hands of the Repugnantcan lynch mob.

User avatar
Komissar Blogunov,

I came across some evidence of how just the mere threat of a Government Shutdown is already affecting this poor woman's dietary habits. She is trying to adjust her diet to compensate for what would be the inevitable fate under the brutal and cruel Rethuglikkkan cutbacks.



https://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=p ... SM5W41jl74

* I can only offer the link to the video since it wouldn't upload to the post... SORRY!*

=========================================
The URL was misconfigured for embed. Should be

-Sum Fowl Byrd

User avatar
First I would be classified as non-essential, damaging my self esteem. then I would marginalized and furloughed--unemployed like a street bum. I would have to apply for unemployment benefits (yes, I would be eligible) and make more per hour watching my 42" plasma set and sattelite TV Re-runs or mowing my own lawn than I make filing paperwork... Since I could not work, I would begin to drink heavily and kick the cat.

I would line up at the County food pantry for evaporated milk, government cheese, and donated dented cans of asparagus. Oh--I would be eligible for the Lone Star (food stamps) Visa card which I could use to buy Lobster and prime rib in any grocery in any state in the nation! Once thrown out of my home, I could finally become a regular at the strip-bar and use my FEMA credit card in the ATM Machines to get money for the "dancers"... while my wife sits at home wondering how to make evaporated milk into anything that can be consumed.

Since another continuing resolution is in place, this dream must wait until Next Tuesday.

Except the part about the cat.

User avatar
Tovarichi wrote:First I would be classified as non-essential, damaging my self esteem. then I would marginalized and furloughed--unemployed like a street bum. I would have to apply for unemployment benefits (yes, I would be eligible) and make more per hour watching my 42" plasma set and sattelite TV Re-runs or mowing my own lawn than I make filing paperwork... Since I could not work, I would begin to drink heavily and kick the cat.

I would line up at the County food pantry for evaporated milk, government cheese, and donated dented cans of asparagus. Oh--I would be eligible for the Lone Star (food stamps) Visa card which I could use to buy Lobster and prime rib in any grocery in any state in the nation! Once thrown out of my home, I could finally become a regular at the strip-bar and use my FEMA credit card in the ATM Machines to get money for the "dancers"... while my wife sits at home wondering how to make evaporated milk into anything that can be consumed.

Since another continuing resolution is in place, this dream must wait until Next Tuesday.

Except the part about the cat.

Comarde you have clarified with such clarity that we are all now clear. (and don't be surprised if you see these words stolen.. repeated by other comrades as "points of talking". let's see.. where is the 'copy' button....)

User avatar
But what would drive you to mow your own lawn? Would a shutdown really push you over the edge like that?

User avatar
Tovarichi wrote:"... while my wife sits at home wondering how to make evaporated milk into anything that can be consumed.

Scalloped Potatoes!


Image

User avatar
Lawnmowing becomes my problem when I cannot pay for undocumented workers. But they will teach me to use emergency rooms for free medical care and fill out my welfare papers. I've been good to them...

User avatar
Comrade Whinny wrote:Komissar Blogunov,

I came across some evidence of how just the mere threat of a Government Shutdown is already affecting this poor woman's dietary habits. She is trying to adjust her diet to compensate for what would be the inevitable fate under the brutal and cruel Rethuglikkkan cutbacks.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=CSM5W41jl74

* I can only offer the link to the video since it wouldn't upload to the post... SORRY!*
Horrifying! We haven't adequately funded a program to combat widespread cushion consumption. If there's a government shutdown, then private property will cease to exist in the living rooms of the Proletariat precisely because this woman, through no fault of her own, ate it.

User avatar
Tovarichi wrote:Lawnmowing becomes my problem when I cannot pay for undocumented workers. But they will teach me to use emergency rooms for free medical care and fill out my welfare papers. I've been good to them...
Have you thought of letting your yard go and blaming Bush when the Homeowners' Gestapo knocks on your door? Remember also to tearfully explain to the local media that you cannot mow your lawn because of the shutdown. Further explain how only a heartless conservative could expect you, a victim, to mow your own lawn. What next? Will they demand you get your own gas for your own mower? This is cruelty beyond words.

User avatar
Vladimir_Scratchanitch wrote:
Tovarichi wrote:"... while my wife sits at home wondering how to make evaporated milk into anything that can be consumed.

Scalloped Potatoes!


Image
That's nearly as appetizing as fresh, dark, shredded cushion.

User avatar
[quote="Komissar Blogunov"]That's nearly as appetizing as fresh, dark, shredded cushion.[/
quote]


I never got into eating cushions.

I did give up picking and eating my scabs as a child.

Some of my friends ate their own boogers, and most of them gave it up. The ones that didn't became Democrats.

User avatar
(sobbing)
Ever since. . . there was a threat of a shutdown in Washington. . . my college. . . was threatened by being closed down forever. . . and I'd then be left without a future!

(/sobbing)
But now that there isn't, I'm just peachy.

User avatar
Komissar Blogunov wrote:Horrifying! We haven't adequately funded a program to combat widespread cushion consumption. If there's a government shutdown, then private property will cease to exist in the living rooms of the Proletariat precisely because this woman, through no fault of her own, ate it.

Komissar Blogunov,

It only gets worse. There are other abnormal behavior videos other than this one, with people doing equally strange things. And it's all because of the mere threat of a Government Shutdown! Just the thought is causing people to do some of the darndest things!

User avatar
Excellent, more Necro-Proxy Votes for Comrade Obama! Personally comrades, I was terrified, a basket case of chicken legs and fluttering feathers, how many more times can we deal with these Rethuglikan fear mongering tactics before we all need more Reparations?

User avatar
I almost lost my National Endowment for the Arts check. Imagine my horror at having to sell my songs in the free market. I'd have to get food stamps and Medicaid and that is just no way for an artist to be forced to live.

User avatar
I just heard today that if the Government doesn't get it's debt ceiling raised higher than the roof that there would be an Apocolypse. I think what this really means is we will all see an entirely different vocabulary of imaginative words to emote an even more desperate-sounding extremism.

There will be new words we haven't even heard before in describing this tragic event. The only problem with that will be all the poor and starving skool kidz who will not understand the new rhetoric because: A) Their unionized teachers are all on strike and couldn't teach them literacy, or B) the lack of endless government funds caused the skools to shut down and the bad tenured skool teachers were illiterate themselves.

User avatar
How many unionized american skool teachers does it take to Milk a Cow?

User avatar
Groucho Marxist wrote:I almost lost my National Endowment for the Arts check. Imagine my horror at having to sell my songs in the free market. I'd have to get food stamps and Medicaid and that is just no way for an artist to be forced to live.

What you lack dear Sir is the proper training..... I suggest Lady Gaga's youtube sight in these here inter-webs. Keep one eye on the pea-cock.


 
POST REPLY