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I Denounce Marshal Pupovich (Again)!

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Gather round, Comrades! It is time for my annual denunciation of Marshal Pupovich, for his association with one of the more degenerate entities in the South Eastern Collective.

I speak of course of the Bayou Bengal Tigers, swamp-dwelling beasts scarcely worthy of the classfication Panthera Tigris. With malice aforethought, Marshal Pupovich--a canine, mind you--not only associates with, but in fact supports the nefarious activities of Louisiana State University.

Don't let the "State" in LSU fool you comrades. They may call themselves a state organ, but they are located in the massive urban area of Baton Rouge, known hub of Capitalist Enterprise in the Louisiana Collective. It is an elitist organization, possessing a Law School to turn out more corporate stooges.

In contrast, the noble Auburn Tigers are truly from a school of the people, a veritable paradise of correct thought and values. Springing to life from the "Lovliest Village on the Plains" (note: VILLAGE, comrades; no decadent urban environment here), Auburn specializes in agricultural research and engineering, skills needed to grow good beets and to design the machinery needed to harvest and process them with the greatest of efficiency.

I denounce LSU, and by association, Marshal Pupovich, on the basis of the following specific crimes:

1. Tampering with plate techtonics and contributing to Anthropogenic Continental Drift during the so-called "Earthquake Bowl."

2. Arson and the destruction of state-owned property during an away game in Auburn.

3. Persistent and willful claims to being more equal than other teams in the South Eastern Collective.

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Comrade Betinov,

This comrade thought LSU from that state meant Lower Swampland Underwater.

Is this not korrect?

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And now the game begins. We shall see which collective proves more equal.


 
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