Comrades,

I have been counting the days, as a parole officer counts the days, since Reiuxcat joined the Collective and it's been one year. I had great hopes for Reiuxcat. He seemed slimy, nasty, greedy and everything that a good progressive should be. I had hope that he could manicure the trotters of Our Many Titted Empress. She's so particular. But he did not deliver, which means that he's not the sort of progressive that we had hoped he'd be.

Have any of you been significantly insulted by Reiuxcat? I mean insulted in the Gilbert and Sullivan sense. Comrades would never stoop to low as to take a bribe, and having one tendered would be an insult.

I have yet to be insulted by Reiuxcat. I have held my hand out, while turning aside, hoping that Reiuxcat would insult me. But nothing. Nada. Zilch.

Therefore I denounce Comrade Reiuxcat. He's had a whole goddamned year here to learn what I like at the Rancho. Bruno has sent him handwritten lists of the pieces of Waterford that I'm missing. There are two pieces of blown glass at the Pismo Gallery in Denver that I've suggested to Reiuxcat that I'd like. But what do I get? Nothing.

Not only that, but the nano Jimmy Carter rabbits seem to like him. They spend their time hissing "Nuclar! Nuclar!" at me, but when Reiuxcat comes in, they all hustle over to him and strop his legs, doing head dives. Is it just me, or is there something funny here?

Unless Reiuxcat ponies up with the proper insults, I am going to have a barbecue on the north forty and Reiuxcat will get up close and personal with my finest impaling stake.

Found a good video that reminded me of our beloved MTE:



Reiuxcat = Nice Kitty

Russian pop takes me back to the early 80s, which was for me the best time of my life. And this was before American music descended into the wilderness of the 90s. I heard the theory that a lot of the people responsible for good music were dying or dead and that's the best explanation. Even Our MTE couldn't kill off music.

I wonder if that desert was what let hip-hop rise--the triumph of mumbled doggerel over even the attempt to carry a tune.

BTW, it seems a rule that every sushi restaurant from Denver west--and I admit I haven't tried them all--has that horrible screeching loud background "music." The sort of background "music" that you hear at the Encore in Las Vegas with incomprehensible words.

Time to get out the Mozart. Or the Tchaikovsky.

Kind and Generous Leader:

With all due respect, I was under the impression that being stingy, and hording was the high watermark of being a made "progressive". In Reiuxcat defense, he has been a great asset to me and my Goons Highly trained Troopers.

He pulls the old "Sweet Kitty" routine and when the prole slips and shows him where the stash of "Hummel figurines" Alcohol, Cigarettes" or any thing else we feel is of value is he reports it, and the Goons Highly trained Troopers move in a beat them senseless, and we take it all. Of course you always get your cut.

Then we all go out to "The Olive Garden" and party down, We have sent you and Bruno invitations, but alas to-date you have never shown up. You really should make the time to come. Rooster walks around taking anyone's food that he likes. The goons go in back and rummage through the garbage, and eventually get in the back door and rob the kitchen, always a good time.

I am sure that this is but a small over sight on Reiuxcat part. A more direct reminder might be needed.



Commissar Red Star CEO Hemlock Hospitalityä INC
Director of Kicking Doors at Midnight
Keeper of the sacred Plasma Cutter
Herdsman of Rainbow Farting Unicorns
Defender of the Faith

Now back to Wrightsville Beach....the high level meeting with Colonel Gadaffi

Oh dear, Red Star. I would have loved to go to the Olive Garden parties. I braced Bruno with this.

"Bruno! Stop looking through that kaleidoscope and look at me! Have we been getting some invitations to go to parties at the Olive Garden?"

"I dunno, Theocritus. All I saw was olive and we have enough oil around this place for the rest of the century. So I threw it out. You think that I want more grease in this house after Gawdawfulo?"

"Bruno, that was an invitation from our friend Red Star to have a party. And who knows? He might have had some cubic zirconium diamonds for you. So when the next one comes, don't throw it out! Savvy?"

"Oh. OH! Sure, Theocritus. I won't throw it out. Can I go back to looking at shards of colored glass now?"

"Yes, Bruno. And be sure to take note of your thoughts. Nanski wants to put them into a bill."

Red Star wrote: With all due respect, I was under the impression that being stingy, and hording was the high
watermark of being a made "progressive".

Yes, Comrade Red Star, a true progressive should be stingy with one's own the state's property. However, a true progressive is very generous with other people's money for it is only by the beneficence of the state that OPM is acquired by OP. It really doesn't belong to the people who have it, it is just on loan. Any progressive worth his salt mine must be ruthless enough to extract OPM in sufficient quantities to accomplish the necessary bribery social goals. After all, it is for the noble end of self-aggrandizment helping the oppressed.

And, in keeping with the groupthink social goals of this thread, I hereby denounce Reiuxcat as a RAAAAACIST! I have it on good authority from paid liars socially conscious whistleblowers that Reiuxcat has organized and participated in terror campaigns against the non-white mice in his locale. He should expect a garrison of ACORN thugs volunteers to picket his litter box until he pays them off to go away renounces his raaaaacist behavior and makes amends.

Commissar Theocritus wrote:Russian pop takes me back to the early 80s, which was for me the best time of my life. And this was before American music descended into the wilderness of the 90s. I heard the theory that a lot of the people responsible for good music were dying or dead and that's the best explanation. Even Our MTE couldn't kill off music.

I wonder if that desert was what let hip-hop rise--the triumph of mumbled doggerel over even the attempt to carry a tune.

BTW, it seems a rule that every sushi restaurant from Denver west--and I admit I haven't tried them all--has that horrible screeching loud background "music." The sort of background "music" that you hear at the Encore in Las Vegas with incomprehensible words.

Time to get out the Mozart. Or the Tchaikovsky.

Indeed!



Commissar!!!


You dare question my loyalty, after all these days.

And now look at the surprise I had for you. (Bruno wanted to paint it pink, not this time)

You do not deserve such an honor, to be stood next to the likes of Lenin and Stalin for such lies. (What do you think you are trying to do, out do his O'liness?)


And in my spare time, I WAS folding Nacy Pelosi's wrinkles! BigFurHat was so impressed, he used the new picture of her.


I thought we had a Texas connection thing going. But people like you are the reason I'm on medication.

It is all too easy to see the value I contribute to the collective. Everyone is entitled to be equally stupid, but you abuse the privilege.


I might have been living well lately, and I may be fat, but you're ugly,and I can diet!!!


I do have a little parting advice for you, From now on when you post, don't let your mind wander. It's way to small to be outside by itself!


One more thing my dearest Comrade Commissar Theocritus, what do you want me to do with the latest victims patriots you asked me to supervise while you and Bruno were away at Pups Pleasure Palace? (How's that new "Pink" room?)

I do like the new look. Clean shaven is a good move for you.

OMGprog! I'll be hiding under the sofa Reiuxcat, you did it now!

RR, why on earth would I take umbrage about dear Reiuxcat? In fact I am preparing quarters for him now. At the Rancho. He'll love the quarters. They were last used by Our Many Titted Empress playing pat-a-cake with Gawdawfulo. In fact they had such a good time that I haven't cleaned them up yet.

Reiuxcat will love them. The leather straps will be very fetching.

Comrade Theocritus,

Might not Rieuxcat be able to slip out of the leather with just a little squirming? Be careful, lest he unleash his fangs on you.

And, if you were nice to Reiuxcat, he might catch you a few nano Jimmy Carter rabbits for sauteing with wine.

Rieuxcat wrote: I do have a little parting advice for you, From now on when you post, don't let your mind wander. It's way to small to be outside by itself!

And what of Rieuxcat's value in knowing you as well as he does? After all, a true friend doesn't mince the truth.

Mincing? Do you mean Bruno's walk? I cannot tell you how much you do not want that mincing to happen on your head.

I don't know what's gotten into all you. Has Gollum infected you? Is there a Gollum flu virus?

Hear and believe, o Comrades: there are stakes for each and every one of you. And although the stake may be unpleasant being serenaded by Bruno would make it doubly so.

"Make it stop! Make it stop!" is the usual litany.

Oh, don't mind Leninka, Commissar, she has a kitty fetish... something about Miss Kitty, whoever that is.

Tell Bruno his favorite Rooster said hi... and by the by, if you need some help skewering the kapitalist killing kitty kat, please let me know, kitties are my favorite delicacy.

I don't have time to denounce you both right now, but I'll be back!

I like a kitty fetish. It cleanses the soul, if we had one, from time to time.

Okay, I'm back. I DENOUNCE BOTH COMRADE RED ROOSTER AND THEOCRITUS for cumulative frivolity, gaiety, and a little too much prancing, dancing and decorating. And especially I DENOUNCE Comrade Theocritus for denouncing a cat. This is a gulag, after all.

Commissar Theocritus wrote:Mincing? Do you mean Bruno's walk? I cannot tell you how much you do not want that mincing to happen on your head.

I don't know what's gotten into all you. Has Gollum infected you? Is there a Gollum flu virus?

Hear and believe, o Comrades: there are stakes for each and every one of you. And although the stake may be unpleasant being serenaded by Bruno would make it doubly so.

"Make it stop! Make it stop!" is the usual litany.

And my most honorable Commissar Theocritus, I'll have my stake medium rare, as you have always so lovingly prepared. thx primo!

Is there anything else I can do for you, Comrade Commissar, and the collective? How many rabbits do we need for the Texas State Fair? And is it Nano-Rabbit on a stick, deep fried or smoked sweetly on the mesquite wood? Or just the typical "chicken Fajitas? (R Rooster, this is the time you decide to serve the collective or the 10" flour tortilla)

With all the rain, my Georgia Jalapeños are not too bad. Not the lovely peppers we grew together on the mansión en Guadalupe, but not too bad for the red clay of my home of exile. At least it was simpler times. Theo, I groom before your feet.

Okay, Reiuxcat, you've been successful in your groveling. All that is left is to purloin a few of Meow's Hummels. Or a tube of Obama's Arrogant Eyebrow Wax.

I need something to show that I am the made progressive that I am. I came in tonight and the nano Jimmy Carter rabbits just hissed at me. And I'm a <i>made progressive</i>. They <i>hissed</i> at me. It was so wrenching.

I've seen Jimmy Carter on the television lately and he's the sorriest excuse for a man that I've seen lately, and that includes His Highness, the Primate of the First Church of Climatology, the Pontiff Al Gore. And if you think of men, Jimmy Carter is just about the last one that you'll think of. But the nano Jimmy Carter rabbits hissed at me.

I had to run to my room and bathe my eyes in eau de prole. It's bad when a small, vile reproduction of a small, vile president hisses at you.

And Leninka, this challenge goes to you too.

I shall be made whole if I receive a tube of Obama's Arrogant Eyebrow Wax. I can use it to smooth out the the wrinkles in clothes that have been in a suitcase for three weeks. I can use it to fix errors in the dry wall here. I can even use Obama's Arrogant Eyebrow Wax to rejuvenate month-old tomatoes and onions.

And why shouldn't I have it? Rasmussen reports that 9% more people disapprove strongly of His O'liness than approve, and that 51% disapprove while 49% approve. I would loose my veins in a warm tub at the falling of President Zero, except that as a made prog I'll just dance on the body and go on down the road.

Leninka wrote:Okay, I'm back. I DENOUNCE BOTH COMRADE RED ROOSTER AND THEOCRITUS for cumulative frivolity, gaiety, and a little too much prancing, dancing and decorating. And especially I DENOUNCE Comrade Theocritus for denouncing a cat. This is a gulag, after all.

My dearest Leninika, mi mojito, mi flor hermosa en la plena floración, I thank you for your palabras dulces. But Theo and I were having una pelea de los amantes. At least, that is what I'd pray for, if we actually prayed.

Gracias, mi bonito se levantó

No merezco su favor.

Theo, mi buho querido,

I'm letting a small, but compliant, company of nano rabbits survive. They have promised me they would put a show for Pup, but would remain harmless. (I requested they clean up the talent shitting left by those dreaded avians. We'll see, not to hopeful.) If they disappoint, you have always liked hasenpfeffer.

As far as eyebrows go, these would suit you well.

Oh. My. God. Reiuxcat, Bruno saw that choker necklace. Do you realize what that is going to cost me? He figures that with that necklace he won't have to shave his forehead so much--there's a bit of Neanderthal in Bruno, and I keep telling him, "Bruno, just don't sweat it. If you had a forehead then Nanski wouldn't love you so much."

Commissar Theocritus wrote:Oh. My. God. Reiuxcat, Bruno saw that choker necklace. Do you realize what that is going to cost me? He figures that with that necklace he won't have to shave his forehead so much--there's a bit of Neanderthal in Bruno, and I keep telling him, "Bruno, just don't sweat it. If you had a forehead then Nanski wouldn't love you so much."

Comrade Commissar,

I will ignore the G word you uttered, but I have enough...um..spoils...no...rewards that Comrade Red Star and the team had culled from the fallen republicans that you can offer Bruno. Plus, one look at Big Tex (non texans think it is a height thing) and you are good as gold, as always. (sigh) I love this model.

.

Screw the model--or not. Just gimme the fake jewels for Bruno. You cannot believe what it's like here, with the nano Jimmy Carter rabbits, and the talent-shitting pigeons. Plus the left-over odor of Our Many Titted Empress, which, no matter how hard you clean, just doesn't come up.

Commissar Theocritus wrote:Screw the model--or not. Just gimme the fake jewels for Bruno. You cannot believe what it's like here, with the nano Jimmy Carter rabbits, and the talent-shitting pigeons. Plus the left-over odor of Our Many Titted Empress, which, no matter how hard you clean, just doesn't come up.

Comrade Commissar,

Being an expert at pet odors, perhaps you accidently left my last email in the junk mail folder.

I sent you a perfect solution (pun intended, you will see) for the odor issue.

Viola!


I think, since it cured the stink left by Bonnie Frwanks at Pup's Pleasure Palace it would certainly solve your issues with the MTE olfactory offenses.

However, I believe the reason the nano-rabbits are running wild, is the MTE leavings have left Bruno in a state of constant copulatic mood and he's disregarded his secondary responsibility. Isn't that a good thing? (The mood, not the rabbits)

Reiuxcat, I hate to tell you but there is nothing more anaphrodisiac than a someone with fruit on his head. The best prophylaxis on earth has to be a pineapple on a hat.

Perhaps that would work for out MTE; my cats Calvin and Hobbes have a different idea. Once our MTE was passed out at the Rancho, blind drunk on Bloody Marys made with rich white Rethuglican virgins' blood, and Calvin and Hobbes both laid a deuce on her and peed on her too. Calvin is smart enough that he laid one in a collop and she didn't even notice it. I think it was that smell which made the King of Saudi Arabia bow to <i>her</i> instead of the other way around.

Unfortunately Hobbes laid a deuce on our MTE and he didn't put it into a collop and when she woke there was hell to pay.

"Goddamn it, Theocritus!" she shouted. "You're supposed to wake me for my turn-down service!"