I must denounce Comrade Blokhayev for starting a denouncement thread on Facebook, and yet not starting one on The Cube, where one could face a more equal denouncement from the comrades of the collective!

Also, while he bribed me with fine vodka to become Czar of Lifespan Planning (an office under the Commissar of Time of course) I feel he still needs to face equal denouncement time here. Plus I haven't denounced anyone in a while. I have a quota to meet.

And be that a lesson to the proles! If the very Commissar of Time himself must meet a quota for denouncement, how much more must YOU meet your quota comrades? There have been very few denouncements of late. Much investigating to do, much investigating indeed! Call the KGB!

I denounce Comrade Colonel 7.62 for not graciously accepting my "gift" of Krystal Vodka and for failing to realizing that I, A MEMBER OF THE INNER CIRCLE™, transcend time. Time management for for PROLES!!!! I demand Comrade Smersh from KGB Section 9 deal with this Thoughtcriminal™ and threat to The Party™, Colonel 7.62!!!



--
Blokhayev

I denounce comrade Blokhayev for not realizing how much I enjoyed the vodka, and how it made starting this thread so much more enjoyable. I further denounce him for not appreciating the fine socialist art of backstabbing in which I am engaged in. I also point out that Comrade Smersh no longer exists, thanks to changing the time of his birth to the future. He is a non person.

I will concede the Inner Circle(TM) is above centrally planned time however. Since it is we who do the central planning, how can we plan for ourselves? Rather we must live in the moment and work ever harder for The Common Good(TM).

Your zeal has been noticed, Colonel, but where is your KOMPROMAT? No professional denunciation is complete without the "compromising material" file complete with shameful pictures taken with candid camera (of photoshopped if none), baseless accusations, trumped-up charges, conspiracy theories, crying "bloody murder," and explaining why the denouncee is dangerous if left outside of the Gulag system.

I couldn't but notice that your denunciation was too relaxed, almost automatic, dry, and overly formal. We must purge formalism from our ranks! Purge complacency!

And, therefore, unfortunately, I must call the Party collectively to denounce Colonel 7.62 for all the above - plus for concentrating too much time on his hands and shifting the focus of authentic class struggle to mere time-travel tricks and other such temporal gimmicks. That's TIMISM! We must purge timism as well! SAY NO TO TIMISM!

Colonel, I denounce you for lying to the People. Merely 4 minutes before this post you denounced me.

You forget one thing Comrade.... I have that video of you tearing your clothes off and declaring your love for ...... KARL ROVE!!!!!. And I have it tucked neatly away in an Mitsubishi Model 972 antimatter powered Quantum Vault. Your temporal machinations will have NO EFFECT on it!



Now.... about that Czar of Lifespan Planning job?

I denounce Comrade Red Square for falling "squarely" into the trap I laid for others. We all know denouncing and finding (or making) evidence against the denouncee takes time, and time is something to be managed by the state. Therefore I wished to see who had too much time on their hands. Any comrade who presented too elaborate of a denunciation would be prejudged to not be using their allocation of time properly. Too simple of a denunciation (like I used as a prole might use Government Issued Cheese to bait a mouse trap) indicates simply rote following of Party Doctrine(TM) while too complex a denunciation indicates too much time (and guilt guilt for crimes which is being hidden). So therefore the lazy prole, and the guilty proles are found, and the ideal Party Members who use time wisely and correctly are also found, and rewarded for their Patriotic Zeal.

I denounce Comrade Mi for being a little to harsh on me.
I just joined The People's Cube today and I had a long post that I gladly shrunk. Mi didn't have to attack me all that was needed was to kindly ask me to shrink my post.

I join Comrade Red Square's call to the Party™ faithful to kollectively denounce Comrade Colonel 7.62 for his sloppy and undisciplined denunciations!!!

I denounce Comrade Tasty Crustacean for expecting life in The Party to be easy! Cheer up, we all get attacked. It's the Progressive Way(TM)!

I agree it is the Progressive Way™, Comrade Colonel Thoughtcriminal™. But I believe newbies should be give time to learn the ropes. She's only been here one day.

Naturally she should be given time. Time is after all what I deal in. In fact, Comrade Shrimpster has already been awarded a People's Rifle over in the People's Tools forums.

Which I so graciously accept and will carry The People's Rifle with honor.

Yummmmm.... Shrimp!!!!

Red Square wrote: And, therefore, unfortunately, I must call the Party collectively to denounce Colonel 7.62 for all the above - plus for concentrating too much time on his hands and shifting the focus of authentic class struggle to mere time-travel tricks and other such temporal gimmicks. That's TIMISM! We must purge timism as well! SAY NO TO TIMISM!

What Dear Trapezoidal Leader requests, Dear Trapezoidal Leader gets...

Comrade Shrimpster, please feel free to denounce the Crimson Foul. I do it all the time. I wake in the morning, and my first thought is "I denounce Red Rooster". Usually as I hear a rooster crowing. Then I go out and shoot it, and have it prepared for my lunch. Breakfast is usually bacon with eggs. Eggs I cook while loudly denouncing Comrade Red Rooster. Lunch is fried chicken, which I eat while mumbling a denouncement to Red Rooster. Dinner consists of hamburger, which i eat while denouncing somebody else. Then I go to sleep. Then the STUPID ROOSTERS WAKE ME UP AGAIN IN THE MORNING AND THE CYCLE STARTS ALL OVER!

I DENOUNCE EVERYBODY ON THIS THREAD TO THIS POINT!!!!!!!!!

His O'liness, just gave the speech of the lifetime earlier on our Glorious march to enacting Obamacare and Comrades after that moment are denouncing other Comrades??????

Why are not basking in your O'basim afterglows!!!!!!! Colonel, please adjust the time so that Comrades can properly write their praise for the one on this fine evening!!!

After that is done we can get to business as usual, in the denouncing quota department (I'm up plus 7 with this post!)

I denounce Colonel 7.62 for all the valid reasons that our Glorious Red Square suggested sagely, and hereby Double Super Secret Denounce him for his unheard of retaliatory and totally unrational denunciation of Red Square. He also tried to skip out on his bill at the Pup's Party Pleasure House after a long (5 minute) session.

Comrade Red Square, surely there must be more that should be done to those foolish enough as to try and denounce a more equal Inner Circle such as yourself?

As Dear and Glorious Leader of the Free People of Zimbabwe I would like to introduce your to the System of Systematic Self-Denunciation that we have instituted after Extensive Research by our Department of Love and Loyalty to our Leader.

Every Party Member (The masses are to stupid, for them we use a system of random non-discriminatory denunciation) must ask himself at at 07:00, 13:00, and 21:00 every day except Saturday the following question: Do I share Comrade Obamugabe's undying love and loyalty to our Dear and Glorious Leader Obamugabe.

If the answer is anything but an overwhelming emotion of servile adoration and love, the Self Denunciation Process starts. The Self Denunciator has to get the special pink form D234-B and fill it in triplicate. This is sent via the post office to the Department of Love and Loyalty to the Leader.

After a bureaucratic process that is too involved to discuss here, if the self denunciation is accepted, it will be forwarded to the Disappearing Squad, which of course is under my personal controll.

What happens after that is classified information.

We have saved Billions of Zim$ after this Systematic Automated System was instituted.

Viva Viva Viva!

Obamugabe

Red Rooster wrote: What Dear Trapezoidal Leader requests, Dear Trapezoidal Leader gets...

I DENOUNCE COLONEL 7.62 FOR WHAT HE SAID!
(whatever it was, I can't get my beak off of that shrimp, yummmmm, shrimp!)

[HIGHLIGHT=#ffffff]NO TO TIMISM![/HIGHLIGHT]
(fresh shrimp for ALL!)

Shrimpster dives into a hole at the bottom of the ocean. Ah I feel much safer now. Roosters can't swim well.

Shrimpster wrote:

Red Rooster wrote: What Dear Trapezoidal Leader requests, Dear Trapezoidal Leader gets...

I DENOUNCE COLONEL 7.62 FOR WHAT HE SAID!
(whatever it was, I can't get my beak off of that shrimp, yummmmm, shrimp!)

[HIGHLIGHT=#ffffff]NO TO TIMISM![/HIGHLIGHT]
(fresh shrimp for ALL!)

Shrimpster dives into a hole at the bottom of the ocean. Ah I feel much safer now. Roosters can't swim well.

(*Max image width is 570px, fixed it to fit. -Supreme Comander of Threadjacking and Stuffed Mice Toys™)

How unfortunate for you Comrade. There truly is nowhere to hide from The Party.

What can you do for Obama?^TM

INGSOC wrote:


How unfortunate for you Comrade. There truly is nowhere to hide from The Party.

Dang it.

Shrimpster wrote:

INGSOC wrote:

How unfortunate for you Comrade. There truly is nowhere to hide from The Party.

Dang it.

Dang it indeed.

High Priest Gore is on his way to the beach to begin your reeducation once Comrade Cock locates you. I'm interested to see how a krustation is able to ride the Kapitalist Cycle of Communal Denouncement and Shame!


I will be in the square awaiting your arrival with my Party issue fondue pot and a synthetic bamboo skewer.

Someone needs to beat the shrimp, I mean - make the shrimp - shovel ready.

It's under control comrade. My offices are currently swimming the seventeen seas to make shrimp shovel ready. Comrade Ingsoc has obliged in demonstrating my most adept Rooster that swims like a Duck skill. This shrimp may require a visit to Jiffi-Lobo™, but of course we'll let the impaling Commissar Theocritus decide that fate.

Er, hrmmmm... *gargle* *gargle*, nothing like fresh sea water to clear my Cock-A-Doodle-Doer.

Shrimpster just got back from her college CRIMINAL JUSTICE clasess. Ha.

Comrade shrimpster is ready to eat fondue rooster. Yum Yum

Comrade Shrimptster,

Do not be intimidated by Comrade Cock-A-Doodle-Duoh! I doubt his beak can penetrate your radioactively enhanced exo-skeleton. In any case, you have now been issued a People's Rifle. That should alleviate his appetite for shrimp cocktail!!!

Marshal Pupovich wrote: I denounce Colonel 7.62 for all the valid reasons that our Glorious Red Square suggested sagely, and hereby Double Super Secret Denounce him for his unheard of retaliatory and totally unrational denunciation of Red Square. He also tried to skip out on his bill at the Pup's Party Pleasure House after a long (5 minute) session.

Comrade Red Square, surely there must be more that should be done to those foolish enough as to try and denounce a more equal Inner Circle such as yourself?

I denounce Pupovich! In my timeline I do not see a denouncement towards Red Square, and I also had a free coupon for your so-called "Pleasure Palace". It is hardly my fault you refused to honor your own coupons. Don't you realize that expiration dates simply do not exist when I am around?

I denounce Red Rooster for usurping Commodore Snoogie's role of patrolling the seas! Furthermore I denounce Red Rooster for having a seductive picture of Sarah Palin in his chicken coop to provide "morning inspiration". We will not even go into the modified pictures of the Thoughtcriminal Malkin....

Shrimpster wrote:Comrade shrimpster is ready to eat fondue rooster. Yum Yum

Excellent! I was just getting ready to cook up this poor prole I shot slice diced and seasoned this morning...


Chicken Fondue anyone?

Zampolit Blokhayev wrote:Comrade Shrimptster,

Do not be intimidated by Comrade Cock-A-Doodle-Duoh! I doubt his beak can penetrate your radioactively enhanced exo-skeleton. In any case, you have now been issued a People's Rifle. That should alleviate his appetite for shrimp cocktail!!!

Yes, I was wondering if the shrimp could clean the windows on my Zil, I offer a crate of Progrin™ in return, that ought to keep her sticking around.

The windows are pretty dirty though...


Comrade Colonel, do shrimp hang out in Russian rivers? And those accusations are totally unfounded!

(Pssst... Don't worry, I won't tell anyone about the pics of Angry Ann Coulter The Rethuglican Roister plastered all over your Peoples Yacht!)

Colonel 7.62 wrote:I denounce Pupovich! In my timeline I do not see a denouncement towards Red Square, and I also had a free coupon for your so-called "Pleasure Palace". It is hardly my fault you refused to honor your own coupons. Don't you realize that expiration dates simply do not exist when I am around?

Excuse me, Colonel--but where did you get a free coupon for the Pup's Pleasure Palace? Those are only available to recipients of Pinkie's prestigious Beet of the Week Award, and are non-transferable. According to our records, you have never been awarded Beet of the Week, because you have never done anything worthy of this prestigious, most highly coveted honor. Yet I notice you, like Pupovich and more recently Snoogie-Woogums, all manage to get promoted ahead of me when no one here cares or raises as much awareness about it as I do!

I shall have to denounce you for fraud and masquerading as a Beet of the Week.

Oh, and I also denounce you for denouncing Pupovich. He's been seriously over-denounced lately, and all it does is draw more attention to his self-proclaimed victimhood that usually results in yet another promotion.

He loves being denounced more than he loves having his belly scratched.

Bah. I denounce Pinkie for not grasping the subtleties of Centrally Planned Time. It is obvious that at some point in the future, or in another alternate timeline/universe I would have gotten a Beet of The Week. So I used the coupon I would have received along with it.

Meanwhile, Oh She Who Wields The Shovel, have you not noticed how your office has been much more productive lately? Would you care for more People's Time? Why look, your shovel gleams so brightly and reflects an even more youthful and pleasant face than normal. How could that have happened? Ahh, I have even managed to grab my kevlar helmet for a change. Have you considered a career as a People's Model Pinkie? You would suit the role so perfectly. Oh, I need a Czar in charge of planning the monthly cycle for our wymyn party members, so that they are productive when we need them most. Would you like the be the Cycle Czar? Or something else? Just please don't hit me with that shovel again!

Well! If you graps the subtleties of Centrally Planned Time so much better than I do, Colonel, then it should also be obvious to you that at some point in the future (but another alternate timeline/universe? In your dreams), you might get whacked with my shovel for allowing this to dribble out of your mouth:

Why look, your shovel gleams so brightly and reflects an even more youthful and pleasant face than normal.

And prithee, Colonel, precisely WHAT would you define as "normal"?

Just please don't hit me with that shovel again!

Only in your alternate timeline/universe, Colonel Big Mouth.

WHACK!!!

And for future reference, no one ever denounces me. If you didn't understand why before, I trust you do now.

Yes, centrally planned time allowed for me getting whacked by your shovel. Pinkie, you transcend space and time it would seem.

Commissarka Pinkie wrote:Oh, and I also denounce you for denouncing Pupovich. He's been seriously over-denounced lately, and all it does is draw more attention to his self-proclaimed victimhood that usually results in yet another promotion.

He loves being denounced more than he loves having his belly scratched.

I am amazed. So far, this thread has not turned into another promote-me gambit by our favorite, er, most-equal-among-equals pooch, Pupovich.

I am also amazed how poorly denunciations are handled these days. Besides the identification of scurrilous Timism so cleverly pointed out by our Glorious Leader, there is no redeeming social value to this entire thread. I will pop a Tsing-Tao and watch mud wrestling at Chou-Chou's House of Healing instead, where I can continue to hone my community organizing skills.

Red Square, we need denouncement indoctrination! Training is needed! Call ACORN!

PS: Comrade Shrimpster, very good to see you in the collective! You have a most appealing graphic accompanying your tasty appropriate name. Per my official duties as Commissar of Seafood Testing, you are to report tomorrow to the Zampolit at my compound for an, uh, SAT exam. Yes, that's it, a test. No need to study, I am sure just showing up will do. Purrrrr...

May you choke on a hairball Comrade General Fuzz-butt!

Colonel 7.62 wrote:May you choke on a hairball Comrade General Fuzz-butt!

Comrades,

Is it not plain as the ears on Dear Leader's head that it is time for show trials and subsequent purges? The denouncements, open mutiny and inequality displayed in this thread forces me to petition the Authority to quickly and as extravagantly as possible judge these nonpeople into oblivion. "General Fuzz-butt"!?!? Not even the slime Joe Wilson would utter such speices degrading absurdity. Of course those to be judged are entirely up to the Power that be.

I am prepared to dispense People's Justice when called upon.

Comrade INGSOC, Commissar Theocritus is in charge of revolooshinary justice and if it were not for your most equal swimming rooster I would denounce you for jumping rank in the People's Justice™ Department.

General Kitty!

It's never GOOD ENOUGH FOR YOU! No matter how hard we try, no matter if dinner is waiting for you in the bunker cafeteria when you come in...

...no matter if The Party™ changes your litter box DAILY,

IT'S NEVER GOOD ENOUGH!

No more comrades, I will not put up with this degrading cat calling ANYMORE!

I DENOUNCE GENERAL MOUSEY TOUNGE
for not choking on enough fur balls!
(and refusing dinner in the bunker cafeteria!)

General Mousey, Red Rooster!!!!

Break out the cocktail sauce!!!!!! I've wasted a ton of other peoples money spent valuable dollars on a vital new and needed weapon the, 'Shrimp Seeking Torpedo'. This torpedo homes in on the shrimp and once locked on target cannot be deterred by any fishy counter-measures!!!!

Soon all three of us will be chowing down on some fine shrimpster a la carte!!!!!!

Watch and start to Salivate!

3.....2.....1....!!!!!!!!!







Seems our fine Socialist engineering has encountered a little, "oopsie".......I'll have the team that designed this drawn and quartered and executed get back to work on this post haste.

In the meantime, to tide us over, I'm sending you over a couple of extra beet ration cards that will soon be available after my little chat with the engineering team on this.

Bah, cats, dogs, Pinkie's shovel, roosters and shrimp, and one addled time manipulator! And yet we manage to somehow keep our glorious cause going! And that said; I DENOUNCE COMMODORE INGSOC for failing to realize I often call General Mousey Tongue "fuzz butt" or "fur face" or some similar name. It's a phrase of affection. Do you think cats care what they are called as long as they are fed, watered, have a clean box to crap in, and someone's leg to claw on, all the while being told how cute they are.

On top of that, my agents have some Comrade Ingsoc to be listening to Glenn Beck, and throwing balls of GARBAGE at the tv screen when our beloved leader, Chairman Obama gives a speech. Also, you shop at Wal-Mart, and only buy American made goods. AND LISTEN TO TED NUGENT! BAD! EVIL! BAD COMRADE INGSOC!

Commodore Snoogie Woogums wrote:General Mousey, Red Rooster!!!!

Break out the cocktail sauce!!!!!! I've wasted a ton of other peoples money spent valuable dollars on a vital new and needed weapon the, 'Shrimp Seeking Torpedo'. This torpedo homes in on the shrimp and once locked on target cannot be deterred by any fishy counter-measures!!!!

Soon all three of us will be chowing down on some fine shrimpster a la carte!!!!!!

Watch and start to Salivate!

3.....2.....1....!!!!!!!!!

"Honey, this has never happened to me before!"

Commodore Snoggie, I was salivating over that shrimp! I hate lousy beets. Nothing personal, Comrade Shrimptster, all species are welcome in the collective. Some, however, are more tasty when steamed with Old Bay seasoning than are others...

Comrade Roosta, I will neither confirm nor deny I set the Guinness Book of World Records for the number of furballs coughed up in an hour. It was while I was a young kitten, filled with curiousity and zeal for the party. Now I would be hard pressed to equal my record. But denounce away if you must, I always enjoy a good denouncing.

Glorious General Mousey!!!!!!

I will endeavor to fix the problem at once! I really want to show you that since my promotion to Commodore that all that nasty business between us in the past is over.

I have forgiven you for that little, 'itching powder in my jammies incident' you authorized your spies to do on me when I was a mere inner Comrade Prole. I hold no grudges for you or your Kitty Comrade Brethren for that, or any other plots and shenanigans you were up to against me in the past and what you are surely currently plotting against me now.

As a matter fact my most equal General Mousey, until I work out the little bugs on the Shrimp Seeking Torpedo, instead of some beets how about some nice cat-food that I have laid-out for you instead? Just come on over to my Naval H.Q.......I'll be out for awhile inspecting some of my units but you should find where I put for you pretty easily.

Cat In A Hot Round Cylinder. Is that cat any relations to the Cat On A Hot Tin Roof?

You are a most equal comrade Commadore Snoogie. Let's think on this Shrimping Voyage, perhaps we need to to get out the Red Rooster fishing vessel, yacht, and Bubba Gump shrimp boat for this excursion. Some radioactive shrimp may be just what the Rooster ordered to get some fur balls out of Snobwieser General Kitty.

Hmmmmmm.... (*burning carbon in my fowl meager brain, where is Comrade Brain In A Jar when you need him?)

Red Rooster,

GOOD NEWS and BAD NEWS, seems that fiendish feline was to smart for us again. He sent over one of his feline minions to my H.Q who resembled him in his stead to check out if this was a trap. I saw the white fur from the back and well, sprung it.




The good news for him at least is that his minion will report back to him that it was and his hunch was correct.

Socks! Socks! Here Kitty, kitty, kitty... oh wait, that's Fluffy! Fluffy! Fluffy! Here Kitty, kitty, kitty... and pick up yer damn socks!

Red Rooster wrote:Cat In A Hot Round Cylinder. Is that cat any relations to the Cat On A Hot Tin Roof?

Ho hum.... Have you no sports background at all? This is a sport I admit to pioneering many years ago for the Feline Olympics. That is not a "drier," that is an indoor cat hurdle track. Those "fins" on the inside of the "tub" are actually the hurdles on the track. It is great training for cats.

Commissarka Pinkie wrote:Yet I notice you, like Pupovich and more recently Snoogie-Woogums, all manage to get promoted ahead of me when no one here cares or raises as much awareness about it as I do!

Commissarka, you have no idea how long and hard I have thought on what promotion we can give that is worthy of your station. As you know, I have offered you some commands, but perhaps that is not your cup of vodka. But how about this? I think I can definitely swing you into the position of a Tsar. As you know, I am also a Guilt Czar, and if there is some particular area you would be interested in, I believe you would be a valuable candidate. Think of it, you would be in a position to control vast amounts of OPM without any need to defend your background or prove you do not have a criminal background, and you would have the ear of the O, and he has exceptionally sized ears as you know. It is your choice of course if you prefer the Tsar or Czar spelling. I personally go for the Tsar.