If Obama were Lincoln:

He would have blamed the slaves for the civil war.

If Obama were George Washington:

He would have blamed and fought a war against the East India Company and corporations in general instead of King George.

[On second thought, if Obama were George Washington he would have blamed the corporations for being forced to buy their products by King George but used this to divide and conquer the colonies.]

If Obama were Adolf Hitler:

He would have blamed the German people for his own stupidity.


If I had more time:

I would come up with more great moments but at the moment I can't and for that I blame those darn Republicans because they won't help Obama!

If Obama were Winston Churchill:

He would have blamed the Tories for the rise of the Nazis and fought against them instead of Germany... all while Hitler conquered the world.

If Obama were George S. Patton:

He would... oh never mind...

If Obama where Vladimir Ilyich Lenin things would have went pretty much the same.

If B. Hussein Obama were Ronald Reagan...

If Obama where Ellen DeGener-ugghh-excuse me, I just puked up some blood.

If Obama had been Washington, he would've jumped at their initial offer to make him King of America. Then, at his coronation, he would've done what Napoleon did at his own--crowned himself after ripping the crown out of the Pope's hands.

He would've purchased the Louisiana Territory for a lot more money than Jefferson shelled out--so much more that we'd still be paying for it today. In fact, we'd be deeper in debt to France than we are to China.

The Louisiana Territory would promptly become federally protected land. No exploration, no settlement, nothing. That would eliminate most red states.

He wouldn't fight Mexico for Texas, but he'd continue to keep the border open.

If Obama were Kim il Jong, we would know what was going on in North Korea because 51% of the population would have il'bama phones. That and il'bama dollas.

If the One were Captain Smith he woud have: blamed global warming for an iceberg being where it should not be; blamed the 1%-ers of the Cunard Line for placing profits over passengers; blamed the designers for cutting corners; applauded the (union) workers who built a ship that remained afloat as long as it did; been the first one off the ship; gone on well-paid speaking tours in all of the finest resort spots to tell the tales of his heroism on a leaky boat he inherited; then, gone to Germany, and on the promise of free passage to 47% of the population, been elected to captain the Hindenberg ....

Had Obama been Dwight Eisenhower, Allied forces would have never conducted the D-Day landings as he would have been playing golf in Scotland.

If the obummer was Benedict Arnold he would be 273 years old on 1/3/13 ... some things never die.

If the zer0 were Neville Chamberlain ... uh, same result.

The latter comment with apologies to Neville for the comparison. Neville at least believed he was acting in the interest of his country. The zer0 has no interests other than: 1) the Himself; and 2) destroying America from within.

If the obum were wise (no question!) he'd track down Comrade Putout for a secret service pary ...

If Obama were a decent person he'd resign!

If Obamma had as many bitches as BO then nobody would believe those vile rumors of him & reggie love being gaylords and even if he does like to eat dog, so what?

If Obama was the desert...it would have run out of sand and began borrowing tons of it from China.

If Obama was a woman...we'd call her Moochelle.

If Obama were Castro...Cuba would be trapped in the '50's [the 1850's that is.]

If Obama were British...he would still be the same insufferable, arrogant lout- but with a pompous accent.

If Barry was female, she would be Debbie Wasserman-Schultz

If O'bama was a nice guy, he wouldn't be such an asshole.

If Obama had been FDR after Pearl Harbor

1) He would have called Dec 7, "a day that will live in my personnel recollection as being one of the more stressing since I became the first black man to be elected -- not just once, but twice -- President this great Nation"

2) He would have ordered a immediate unilateral stand down of all Us Armed Forces so he could enter into direct bilateral negotiations with Emperor Hirohito "to defuse this unfortunate situation"

3) He would ask Congress to declare that as a result of a "dastardly and unprovoked ethnic slur hurled against a Japanese farmer in Merced on Dec 8, 1941, a state of martial law has existed in the Pacific Coast areas."

If Obama had been Lincoln at Gettysburg

He would have talked for an hour about a long walk he took with Mary Todd Lincoln after hearing of the casualty counts and how he was scarcely able to sleep for an entire week afterward so great was his personal anguish; and how the unbounded pity that he felt for the suffering of the troops on both sides had inspired him to write what he believed would become the greatest speech ever given by an American President