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In Honor of a Hero of the Proletariat

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Comrades of our glorious collective!

Whilst labouring in our peoples ministry of truth rewriting historycorrecting mistakes not committed by our Party, I happened upon a little piece of history worthy of inclusion into the current truth. Comrades and compatriots of the revolution, it would be my great pleasure to bring to your attention the meritorious exploits of a little known hero of the revolution...The Red Skull.

The Red Skull (Johannes Schmidt), was a man of great vision. During the Great Patriotic War, Schmidt served as a General in the Barbarian Armies of the Fascist Nazi invaders, under the oppressive shadow the Demonic Proto-Bush Adolf Hitler. Engaging in the absolute thoughtcrime of scientific inquiry (never try it, ever. It requires independent thought, and no one should be willing to make that risk), Schmidt nonetheless managed to contribute to the course of progress by proving that what many believe to be superstition was actually a science.

Quite simply, comrades, he had harnessed the power of the gods, proving to the scientific community that the regressive religion of the barbaric Germanic savages was indeed, an Opiate of the masses.

Quickly realizing the error of his ways, as well as the true nature of the racist, regressive, Fascism he was helping to promote, The Red Skull rebelled against the Oppressive Claws of The National SocialistsCorporatists, and Formed A New progressive Order, committed to spreading Progressive Ideals across the globe, which he named "Hydra," after an extinct (no doubt due to Capitalist Deforestation) species from the socialist paradise of Greece - a state so progressive, it has finally achieved the progressive goal of eliminating the currency system (Greece has no money, like a good socialist paradise.)

Subsequently, Schmidt began a Noble CrusadeRed Jihad against the Capitalist West, starting with the Imperialist U.S.A.

Tragically, his plan was put to death by an American imperialist by the name of Steve Rogers, who, as penalty for his counter-revolutionary crimes, was buried along with Schmidt in the glaciers of the Arctic, never to see the sun again, until Global Climate Change liberated him from his Frozen Watery Gulag.

Schmidt was killed in his heroic encounter with the American. But his legacy, one of total devotion to the noble cause of the establishment of One World Government with no flags, may now continue to inspire the Comrades and Proles of the revolution for ever more.

Unless of course, the Ministry tells me otherwise.

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Looks like someone forgot to put his cube in the dock last night.

cubed out.jpg

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That man does not look too well. He ought to visit a healthcare exchange.

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Or is he living off of Michelle Obama's school lunches? in which case he ought to be doing just fine.


 
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