The lottery presents challenges to our progressive sensitivities. Unfairness and inequality plagues today's lottery like Mitt Romney's off shore investment portfolio. Not everyone can afford to buy lottery tickets. Sandra Fluke will be back in congress for a second helping and breaking our liberal hearts. But Nancy Pelosi can see the advantages of winning the lottery for musicians and artists whose work provides no usable income. Should we be allowing food stamps to pay for lottery tickets?

Perhaps most troubling is the unequal position of the lottery winner and the appropriateness of their expenditures. After all, it is the state who allowed them to win the lottery. Should not the state know best how the winner should distribute those funds?

Unlike the lottery, the chances of getting something from our gal Sarah are pretty high.

Krasnodar out.

People's Comrade, a most excellent and very equal question. Clearly the lottery is not fair, equal, or socially just. Thus I would like to propose that Dear Leader and his autopen create a new executive order. Just as we expect everyone to pay into health care so poor Sandra Fluke does not have to pay $3,000 of her own money to engage in the activities in which she engages, we should have everyone participate in the lottery. Compliance would be mandatory, of course. And since we don't keep score or announce winners, it should be the same way in terms of the lotto. Everyone must pay in, and if Dear Leader is in a particularly generous mood, he can give everyone approximately 10 to 15 cents back. This would guarantee equality to all. There would be no overall winner. We would all be winners....when and if Dear Leader feels like being "generous."