Our ISIS friends are a bit short on the volunteer quota, so they are setting up events and things to get more recruits.

They will now plan to have ice cream socials, more boy bands, s'mores in front of a burning infidel, throw rocks at art and women, break "historical artifacts", yell on top of mountains and buildings, hold pizza parties, round up the Jews, Christians, Shiites, and other nonbelievers, become human fireworks, have a goat or sheep fest, pick up the gun and ammo from fallen comrades, play hide and seek, duck and cover, robbers and robbers, ISIS fire drill, chubby bunnies, mummy wrap, nose goes, Double Dutch, patty cake, I Spy, and much, much more.

We at the People's Cube would like to add our games for our recruitment quota: find the Capitalist, water your beets, ice cream socialist, who will clean Commissarka Pinkie's feet, waterboarding, beet vodka dunk tank (very popular event), s'mores the way Moochelle likes it, make a left shoe, interrogate the Capitalist, People's fire drill, hide and Commissarka Pinkie seeks, place the spy instruments in building, etc.

It is a wonderful time to be at the People's Cube.

Forward!

Does ISIS have hazing rituals? Just asking.

I guess another game ISIS is playing is called "Slave Markets." They lure new members by promising they can keep any infidel girl they capture as a sex slave, and to expand slave markets to the West.

The bad news is that they estimate the market value of Michelle Obama at $45.00 with no tip.

No pictures, please!

Michelle Obama Worth About $45 on Slave Market, ISIS Estimates

It's harder to entice people to join them, however, if they say things like this:

Muslim Cleric: If You Masturbate, Your Hand Will Be Pregnant in the Afterlife

On the other hand, who needs to indulge in the sin of masturbation when you can have a moral relationship with an infidel sex slave? And if you don't, the entire animal kingdom is yours to explore.

On the third hand, if your hands get pregnant, you can make them honest by marrying them. I'm pretty sure under Sharia one can be legally married to any number of hands. You can put black socks over them and imagine they're dressed in cute little burkas. That'll also save you money on your wives' wardrobe.

On the fourth hand, I'm sure Hell will be full of Planned Parenthood outfits looking for something to do with those hands.

The comment thread under the above article is quite enlightening, if that's what lights your candle.

And THAT, comrades, explains where the 72 virgins of the afterlife come from...

Ahh, the religion of piece!

Here is the latest picture of one of the ISIS recruiters.

This one has sparkles in his eyes.

I don't know how that chubby bunny business is going to sell...

Ivan the Stakhanovets wrote:
I don't know how that chubby bunny business is going to sell...

Pssst!....Comrade Ivan.... what this I hear about sex slaves? Where?

You had me at Nutella