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Islamic State Memo:

The following songs have been approved by Islamic State.

WARNING: Please keep in mind that you are not allowed to enjoy listening to these songs.

1. "The Great Allah Has Decided That I Am Unworthy Due to My Questionable Attire"
   
2. "Muhammad, the Great Prophet, Has Given Us Great Instruction on Proper Bomb Making"
   
3. "Allah, Great and Wise One, I Am Not Complaining that The 72 Virgins Promised To Me Are Not the Beautiful Females I was Hoping For but Rather the Mangled Corpses of the the People I Killed"
   
4. "Allah, Who Loves Us So Much He Is Willing to Command Us to Die, Has Commanded Us To Die in Order to Show Us How Much He Loves Us"
   
5. "Our Children, Our Future, Our Body Shields"
   
6. "Praise Be Allah, Who Has Given Us Women to Rape and Beat and Children to Die In Glorious Suicide Bombing Missions"

If you are aware of other such worthy songs, please list them and Islamic State will consider adding them to our list.

#6 should be "Women and Children to rape/beat"... They love little boys... Bacha Bazi.

It is all the same when the lights are out.

Wait?! They are songs?

Yes. We apologize that the titles are so short.

So size DOES matter... Damn.

They all sound like instructional videos.

Thank you Infidel for your question. Islamic State approved Instructional Videos are available on Blu Ray and DVD, and streaming on Al-Jazeera.

"Reminder: Please arrive 30 minutes prior to your scheduled beheading"

Attention: Must-Read For All Beheading Subjects:

This new procedure may be covered by your ObamaCare policy. If not, help us fight for change - become part of the march on Washington planned for early next year. Come - join the growing Infidel Heads Matter movement!

The ISIS goal in France is to replace "My Cherie Amour" with "My Sharia Law."

An old People's Karaoke number, made relevant again by the Paris attacks.

My Sharia Law

[img]/images/MyShariaLaw_StevieWonder.jpg[/img]

Music by Stevie Wonder, lyrics by Laika the Space Dog



La la la la allah
La la la la allah

My Sharia Law, all the infidels must pay
My Sharia Law, said that I must kill all gays
My Sharia Law, Jews and Christians we abhor
Without a burqa she's a whore
To kill for Allah is not a crime.

In a cafe or sometimes on a crowded street
I've been near you, but you never notice me
My Sharia Law don't you tell me how could they ignore
That behind that little smile I wore
I explode an improvised mine

Maybe someday I'll plant one in a great big crowd
Maybe someday It'll be more than a mushroom cloud
Oh, Sharia Law, think of all the blood and gore
You're the only law my heart beats for
And bring about the end of time.

La la la la allah
La la la la allah

I've never understood the desire for 72 virgins. Who wants that many tears and to spend the rest of eternity being followed around by 72 lost puppy shadows?

Komrade Melvin, I would like to submit this as the new United Socialist States of Amerika national anthem:

Ivan the Stakhanovets wrote:So size DOES matter... Damn.

Ivan, I'm gonna let you in on a little secret. It isn't the length of the boat, it's the motion of the ocean, you get me? Now if only I had a woman to try this philosophy out on...

Infidel Stierlitz
This is quite a depressing song, and perfect for a jihadi playlist. And this Choppin? I love the name. Praise Be Allah!

I've got another one:



Ooh, my little pretty one, my pretty one
When you gonna obey the law of, Sharia!
Ooh, you get right in that robe, right in that robe
I'll be so happy that you're following Sharia!


Never gonna stop, give it up, Infidels can't win
I always blow things up, for the good of all Muslimkind
My, my, my, aye-aye, whoa!
M-m-m-my Sharia!


Better do just what I say, just what I say
Or else I will beat you up for Sharia!
Better not drive without me, without me
Or else I'll kill you for glorious Sharia!


Never gonna stop, give it up, Infidels can't win
I always blow things up, for the good of all Muslimkind
My, my, my, aye-aye, whoa!
M-m-m-my Sharia!
M-m-m-my Sharia!


When you gonna give to me, a gift to me
Better be a suicide bomb, Sharia!
It is your d-d-destiny, d-destiny
It's not just inside my sick mind, Sharia!


Never gonna stop, give it up, Infidels can't win
I always blow things up, for the good of all Muslimkind
My, my, my, aye-aye, whoa!
M-m-m-m-m-m-m-my, my, my, aye-aye, whoa!
M-m-m-my Sharia!
M-m-m-my Sharia!
M-m-m-my Sharia!
M-m-m-my Sharia!


Ooooooo-ohhh, my Sharia!
Ooooooo-ohhh, my Sharia!
Ooooooo-ohhh, my Sharia!

Good news, Infidels! We've added a new song. It's called "“Oh Darraji!. Our state provided us ammunition and sent us to assassinate you.” and you can hear it in this article
https://www.nytimes.com/2015/12/21/world/middleeast/isis-recruitment-killer-hassan-aboud.html?_r=0