Comrades,

This is to inform you that Jiffy Lobo ™ has extended it's hours to serve Party members who may be suffering with uncomfortable thoughts and feelings of, well hypocrisy and or confusion in Dear Leaders unilateral raid into a sovereign country to assassinate comrade Bin Laden. I've heard far too much of; "Didn't the evil Bushitler act unilaterally?" and "Didn't the evil Bushitler invade a sovereign country?" There is no need to suffer these thoughts and feelings of confusion. Call Jiffy Lobo ™ immediately.

A call today will not guarantee that you'll be served right away, demand has been very high this past week and waiting times are now up to three days. Our new extended hours will help to alleviate this backlog. In case of a delay, several bottles of beet vodka will hold you until your appointment.

I remain,
Dr. Chicago

I am referring this thought criminal to your service as she is apparently in need of severe punishment correct thinking assistance. Please to remove thelegal illegal firearm from her hand and I will be happy to assist you with this subject.

Just in case you missed it, here's the authentic Jiffy Lobo sign from last year