Attention ISIS customers: Apple continues to provide a secure product to plan and organize your attacks on infidel non-believers.
If you are caught or killed, can your internet browsing history and your contact list remain unidentified by the FBI? Will your phone remain locked? Carry an Apple iPhone, it will!
By Allah, you have rights, and Apple will protect them.
iPhone... Spread the Religion of Peace with peace of mind...
Trusted by the best in the industry!
It is my privilege to provide raw material for
and the Children ™
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Infinite battery life
Has a conflict resolution of 0*0
Ultra-high definition, it's like you're really there!
Wireless, If you're smart enough
Free Genius Allahu AkBAR services at any Apple location for the life of your iJihad
.5 megapixel camera for filming other iJihads!
90-day or until death warranty, whichever comes first
And if your iJihad backfires on you, Mohammed will smile upon you and give you 28 extra virgins for free!
"Shukran, Achmed! Inshallah, I will live as long as the battery..."
You'd better use the correct server though!
Alas poor Ivan was not as clever as our MTE™ ...
"No you ain't." Imagine buying a high security lock set for your house and later discovering the manufacturer was forced to provide a duplicate key to Dear Leader - just in case he might need it some day. Right!