One day we will retell our children the story. We once had a President named Jimmy, a socialist who longed for everyone to be equal. Inflation became outrageous, interest rates became oppressive and we had no gasoline. But we had each other and everyone was equally and gloriously miserable.

Then the country took a very dark turn and elected Ronnie. He believed in freedom, dropped interest rates, drilled for oil and inflation mysteriously disappeared. Many people prospered but some didn't - equality evaporated. And ever since we have struggled to find again that path, the path to equality.

Hmm...at about 7 pints per human being times 130,000,000 human beings who "donated" to us in the last century equals 113,750,000 gallons of blood, enough to fill 172 Olympic sized swimming pools. In other words, we're swimming in blood. No wonder it's soaking through. Is there any way our precious media can talk up this amazing achievement?

…..Comrades, remember that the brilliant Carter, a man who secretly harbored such deep knowledge of human character and understanding, had the insight into believing that the Soviet Union, seemed to exhibit characteristics of being a spit, spit, A BULLY!. From past life experiences, Ouija board encounters and conferences with daughter Amy, Carter began to formulate a simple plan, a plan in which the best way to deal with this bully is not to harbor any ill feelings or threaten them, but rather destroy turn your country into a completely insignificant entity and no longer become a such a threat, both economically and militarily. Even though this outstanding plan of insignificance had little effect upon the Soviets at first blush, it was only a window dressing in which Carter with open arms roped the Soviets into believing their own superiority. With their extended presence in the world, Panama Canal, Nicaragua, Cuba, Taiwan, Ethiopia, North Korea, Yemen, Angola, Kampuchea, and Afghanistan was the main course, Carter's brilliant strategy of acquiescence would allow Eastern Europe and parts of Europe to be the final dessert. You see, it was after all Jimmy whose concept of refusal to confront the Soviets or anyone that allowed those reighwingers and Ray Gun to take credit for the Soviets to try to compete against a glorious economy, over extend and collapse. Thankfully Jimmy had successfully crafted a brilliant strategy which has become a hallmark of not only economic, social and political achievement but a shining example which is being replicated by our current brilliant leader. We are again on the glorious path to the wonderful world of “Next Tuesday”…this is real achievement!!!!!

And here I was expecting a retelling of the tale about a vicious rabbit that once took to the water to attack our beloved Jimmah while on a fishing boat in Georgia:

Well, Komrades, at least it's not a freakin' "shining path"...

yes, and I believe the stench of rabbit kibbles must have been enormous. If they would have captured and killed the so called "Hissing Rabbit" for threatening a President, would the Secret Service tie the dead rabbit down on the hood of the car to be taken back to Plains for a photo op?