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Koch Bros. Subvert Aging Punk Rocker?

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Stranger than fiction

Exene Cervenka has lost her way. The formerly radical punk band “X” singer and songwriter has fallen prey to the siren song of liberty, the false idol of Teabag worshipers. In a recent Rolling Stone interview the aging crooner confessed a long held desire to return to her earlier years - to the sight of armed citizens and shotguns in every pickup. Some friends express concern that Exene's recent decision of moving to Texas signals the continuation of her inevitable descent into total senility. Others disagree, claiming Exene's mind was recently invaded by Koch brother's operatives.

Reason .com searched for clues to Ms. Cervenka's odd behavior in the following excerpted quotes from Rolling Stone. She's shipping out to Texas. That's right! Texas. Her rather bizarre reasoning follows below:


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Exene: "The other reason I'm moving, if the creek don't rise, is that when I moved to California in 1976, Jerry Brown was governor. It was barefoot hippie girls, Hell's Angels on the Sunset Strip, East L.A. lowriders, the ocean and nature. It was this fabulous incredible place about freedom. Now when I think about California, I think of a liberal oppressive police state and regulations and taxes and fees. I'd rather go someplace and have my own little place out on the edge of town. I'm a country girl at heart. It makes me happy when I see people in Texas open-carrying. It makes me feel safe. I'm not even a gun owner, but I'd like to see a gun rack in every pickup truck, like my boyfriend had when I was fifteen years old in Florida. An armed society is a polite society."

She cracks a smile. "Now Jerry Brown's governor again. He's done some great things, like balancing the budget and libraries are open on Sundays. But things are getting to the point in this country where people are going to have to fight to survive and fight for their rights."

I leave the analysis to you, my faithful readers. I report - you decide.

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Punk Sells Out?

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I like the big underwear hanging next to her. No more selling out to Victoria's Secret. At this rate, her once monistat dipped thong will soon be 100% cotton Fruit of the Looms, that not only let her breath, but keep her breasts in check to boot.

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Red Walrus wrote:I like the big underwear hanging next to her. No more selling out to Victoria's Secret. At this rate, her once monistat dipped thong will soon be 100% cotton Fruit of the Looms, that not only let her breath, but keep her breasts in check to boot.

Comrade Walrus,

Only you could find that one ray of sunshine in the storm cloud that is this lost soul's life. Praise Obama!

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Ahhhh, comrades - many were the evenings I enjoyed a beer beet vodka or three at the Whiskey or the Troubador or the Starwood, watching Exene, Billy Zoom, John Doe, and drummer whose name I forget - in short, X - doing their delightful rockabilly sets. I remember it as though it were yesterday.

And now this?!? Exene wants to live where there's open carry? SHE - HAS TO LEAVE - LOS ANGELES?!?!?!?!?!?!?

Oh comrades - one can only hope she'll buy a clock on Hollywood boulevard the day she leaves...

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[color=#C0392B]R.O.C.K. in the USSA[/color] was probably BSing us when he wrote:Ahhhh, comrades - many were the evenings I enjoyed a beer beet vodka or three at the Whiskey or the Troubador or the Starwood, watching Exene, Billy Zoom, John Doe, and drummer whose name I forget - in short, X - doing their delightful rockabilly sets. I remember it as though it were yesterday.

And now this?!? Exene wants to live where there's open carry? SHE - HAS TO LEAVE - LOS ANGELES?!?!?!?!?!?!?

Oh comrades - one can only hope she'll buy a clock on Hollywood boulevard the day she leaves...

So... were you a badass back then R.O.C.K.? (Your head was pretty damn big that's for sure!)
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Comrades, Comrades! Do you not see the beauty of the plan? Comrade Cervenka is moving on to the next phase. After working to turn Kalifornia into the festering shithole Worker's Paradise it has become she is turning to the reactionary tea-bagger stronghold of Texas. By positioning herself as a gun toting racist she will thus be able to achieve in Texas the great works done in Kalifornia. Similar events are occurring in my state of Virginia, where the pestilence salvation is coming from the DPRM across the Potomac.

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Agreeing with Comrade PolPot, it is only logical we attempt to make contact with these TeaThugs and try to blend in with the run-of-the-mill voters. Here we see Comrade Cervenka befriending typical locals at a shopping outlet in conservative rural Texas. Her plan appears to be working perfectly. We should all re-double our community organizing efforts after observing her brilliant yet simple strategy.



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Time flies so fast...

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Ah, yes. Like a fine wine we improve with age. Sometimes though, as in the case of fine beer we go fat flat.


 
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