According to CNS News, First Lady Michelle Obama has expanded her anti-obesity campaign to museums, enlisting them to offer “healthy food options,” and change their menus.
Mrs. Obama’s “Let’s Move!” initiative is now calling for museums, zoos, gardens, science and technology centers to “join the call to action,” to decrease obesity among children. The first lady is recruiting these institutions to join the “Let’s Move! Museums and Gardens” project because of their power to “influence real and sustained behavior change” on the eating habits of kids.
CHICAGO: NEW INTERACTIVE PETTING ZOO
Artist's Rendering of New Petting Zoo
At the Chicago Zoo, officials unveiled their “Let’s Move!” initiative: a children’s interactive exhibit in their new Coliseum Wild Jungle Cat Petting Zoo. Zoo Director, Caesar Nero, explains:
“Children are invited to interact with our stock of full grown lions, cheetahs, leopards, panthers, and our exclusive Siberian Tiger, Snowball, (On loan from the Beijing Zoo) in an open forum. This will encourage the young crumb-crunchers to experience an intense cardio training with these playfully, frisky kitty-cats in an ‘interactive’ forum. We extended our initial invitations to Sunday Schools in the local Christian Churches. Initial responses have been very positive – turnout was much higher than expected. My thanks to local IRS officials for assisting in transmitting our invitations, personally, in conjunction with their unannounced visits to review the Churches’ tax exempt status.”
Lady Obama was on hand for the inaugural festivities. According to reporters covering the slaughter festivities, Ms. Obama seemed well pleased with the amount of exercise the urchins were receiving – even offering a ‘thumbs up’ for one child who managed to escape the clutches of a hungry lioness. There were some less than favorable performances from the fatter, lazier children who received an opprobric ‘thumbs down’ from the First Lady.
When questioned by tearful parents, she proclaimed (before they were hauled away by the Secret Service for questioning): “If they REALLY cared about their children, they’d have got them out from behind the X-Box a little more often! This is a clear case of natural selection…as Darwin intended. Let them each arugula!”
Zoo Director, Mr. Nero added: “Since the inception of the Coliseum Petting Zoo, we have seen a dramatic decrease in the cost of feed for our feline predator stock and a huge spike in the number of spectators zoo visitors, especially from the militant LBGTTPB community. We are planning a special series at the Coliseum Petting Zoo to commemorate LBGTTPB coinciding with the state-wide influx of Vacation Bible Schools normally planned this time of year. The Zoo plans to have the children marched into the arena as the capstone to a Gay Pride Triumphant."
Nero continued: "Next year, we plan to host a ‘Gladiator Academy’ at the Chi-Town Zoo for Teens and Pre-teens. This should make the petting zoo experience much more interesting as we begin to introduce Grizzly Bears and a Shark Tank."
This is glorious news Comrade Goldstein,
Our FLOTUS sure has her priorities straight. My only question: How does The Collective keep Dear Leader from hunting the defenseless animals for family barbeques?
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