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Late night dinner conversation between Barry and Michelle, 1

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Michelle: Do you want that bread?

Barry: No, take it.

Michelle: I'm so mad at that Carla Bruni.

Barry: What'd she do now?

Michelle: She still hasn't apologized.

Barry: For what?

Michelle: You saw how she did me.

Barry: I forgot.

Michelle: Come on! You know – how my “whole life is hell.”

Barry: That was a long time ago. People have forgotten.

Continued...
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Michelle: You want that potato?

Barry: No, take it.

Michelle: I don't think people have forgotten. They think she's some fashion plate, but, me, they make fun when I wear a belt at my bust line. Do you want that pork chop?

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Barry: No, take it. I think you're overeating – I mean - overreacting. A lot of people recognize you as a woman of delicate beauty and style.

Michelle: Do you want all that butter?

Barry: No, take a handful.

Michelle: I mean, even at the R&B party we had, no one said I looked beautiful. No one. I was even wearing that red dress with the black widow on the front - and a belt at my bust line.

Barry: You're wrong. A lot of people remarked how beautiful you looked.

Michelle: Who?

Barry: Come on - we all heard Stevie Wonder carry on how beautiful you looked.

Michelle: He's blind, Barack!

Barry: Oh. What do you want from me, I didn't notice!

Michelle: And that Beyonce, walking around with her big ass, like she's something...

Barry: I think you're going to have to accept that when you're at the top, people are going to take potshots at you.

Michelle: I still haven't even gotten a magazine cover yet.

Barry: What happened the fold-out Hog Farmer Magazine was going to do on you?

Michelle: They said they changed the theme of that issue. Yeah, right.

Barry: What about that women's magazine that was going to do a cover with you?

Michelle: We're still waiting. They can't find two of the same dress that I liked to sew together.

Barry: See? It's just a matter of time.

Michelle: Bull. Do you want that hamburger?

Barry: No, take it. I'll just eat the other pork chop. Who's “they?”

Michelle: The media.

Barry: That's crazy. The media is completely on our side. They've sold their souls to us.

Michelle: Bull.

Barry: What do you mean, “bull?” They're calling me God - and I'm a guy who hasn't gone to the bathroom three days!

Michelle: Why don't you take some of the quantitative easing pills I take?

Barry: Are you sure that's what they call them? I had a conversation with Bill Ayers about them...

Michelle: Why are you telling him about my personal hygiene!

Barry: I didn't! For some reason, we were talking about policy and for some reason he happened to mention them...

Michelle: I don't know what they're called. Some bitch just brings them to me. And speaking of bitches, all my misery started with that Carla Bruni opening her big mouth... Barack, I want you to declare war on France.

Barry: Don't be silly.

Michelle: I'm serious: I want you to declare war on France.

Barry: Michelle...

Michelle: You can do it. You're the president.

Barry: Michelle, you went to law school. You know the president can't declare war.

Michelle: Who can, again?

Barry: Only the Supreme Court can declare war.

Michelle: Forgot. Second amendment, right?

Barry: Correct-o-mundo.

Michelle: No wonder you got into Harvard. I wish I went to Harvard.

Barry: If you hooked up with the same Saudi donors I did, you'd have gotten into Harvard, too. The problem is they never leave you alone – they're like loan sharks. Remember how I had to bow when I went over there?

Michelle: Maybe I'm overreacting. But people don't know - it's hell being first lady. It really is.

Barry: Don't go Betty Ford on me.

Michelle: Who's that?

Barry: That drunk woman – the one who started all those clinics.

Michelle: I don't drink, okay Barack!

Barry: Sorry!

Michelle: In my position, it's unladylike... Are you going to eat that cake?

Barry: No, take it. But save me a slice.

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Later that night, in the darkness of the Presidential Bedroom...

Barry: Michelle. Are you doing what I think you're doing?

Michelle: Uhhh, what's that honey? (nervously rearranges her position in the bed)

Barry: I said "Are you doing what I think you're doing?" What are those squooshy noises?

Michelle: Barack, I can't believe you'd ask me a question like that!

Barry: Michelle, I thought we had an agreement about this.

Michelle: No, really - I'm, I'm not.

Barry: Michelle - give me that pork chop. Now. What if the children see you scarfing down pork chops in bed again???


Raum Emmanual Goldstein
Finepoint wrote:
Obama: "A lot of people recognize you as a woman of delicate beauty and style."


HEY!

He stole ...er "redistributed" MY Line! That's what I was using to woo Pinkie last week!

Doesn't this Guy have any of His own material?


 
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