The peaceful Islamic Republic of Iran has successfully defended itself from the British Invasion (No, not The Beatles, The Rolling Stones or Gerry and the Pacemakers).

Here are a few of the facts:

A) The Marines violated the Geneva (Ohio) Convention of 2007. Not only were they in uniform...they had ranks and serial numbers! A total outrage! They should not be treated as POW's and put in a detention facility like Gitmo.

On the other hand The ICLU (Iranian Civil Liberties Union...haw haw) should file suit against the Iranian government and make sure they all have non-flushable Bibles, alters, Crucifixes. No rosary beads, that could be used to garrote a guard...come to think of it, no Crucifixes, that could be used as a weapon, you know how deranged these Christians are, they'll resort to any means of violence. If they are detained over Easter, they should get an Easter Ham for dinner, plus some colored hard boiled eggs and chocolate. Cable TV a must, plus air conditioning or the next thing you know Dick Durbin-Laden will be calling the Iranians Nazis and nobody likes to be compared with the Nazis (unless you're an Arab or Persian of militant Islam)

B) It's ridiculous that some people are calling these Marines hostages. Iranians have never held hostages.

C) Everybody knows 15 British Marines could kick the whole of Iran's ass.
The Iranians were lucky they just caught them at "Tea Time".
These 15 Marines were a clear threat to Iranian security. They were in nuclear rubber rafts and planning a "USS Cole" type suicide mission.

D) These Marines clearly confessed their wrong doing, CNN said so, so did ABC, CBS, and NBC News. There was no torture, nobody's head was held at gunpoint or threatened to be chopped off. The Central Iranian Scrutinizer gave them each a donut and they confessed.

E) They're spies dammit! They had Hush Puppies and Chex decoders on them!
Here's the evidence!

It is pleasing to see that the British are finally beginning to see the light and are now starting to act like the French!!! That is, they surrendered right away!

--
Zampolit B. S. Blokhayev

One less imperialist country to worry about. Unfortunately, the AmeriKKKan occupiers are still shooting at Iranian troops trying to come to Iraq and peacefully assist the freedom fighters.

I never got stuff in my cereal boxes, just mail in order forms, or a crappy CD that's supposed to have some game on it, but is really just 10 minutes of advertisments that you can't skip through.

Premier Betty wrote:I never got stuff in my cereal boxes, just mail in order forms, or a crappy CD that's supposed to have some game on it, but is really just 10 minutes of advertisments that you can't skip through.

Damn capitalist! Always tempting us with cereal box trinkets in order to turn that blood soaked profit! BASTARDS! I must have went through seventy boxes of Cheerios to get my hands on that bee on the box. Oh, and atleast twenty more boxes of Frosted Flakes to find Tony the Tiger inside! Yes, in time I will find them and then their days will be numbered... I hear the choo-choo train now hauling them to the forzen tundra <eating Frosted Flakes> yes, <num num num> they will pay <num num num> <slurp, slurp> for their crimes against The People (damn, outta milk) and to think people eat that crap <pours milk> just makes me sick <num num num> <burp>

Oh, yeah, those Brit imperialist bastards will pay for their crimes as well! I hope the peaceful Iranian people are building a Gitmo a trillion times worst so that these warmongerers can feel the pain of our Eastern liberators! Now if you'll excuse me; I have to run to the corner store and buy more cereal, maybe Coco Peebles so that I may continue my search for Fred Flintstone (who by the way is a knuckle-dragging con).

I never got stuff in my cereal boxes, just mail in order forms, or a crappy CD that's supposed to have some game on it, but is really just 10 minutes of advertisments that you can't skip through.

Damn capitalist! Always tempting us with cereal box trinkets in order to turn that blood soaked profit!

I'm surprised! What happened to our covert propaganda program? Somebody is not doing their job. Back in the Glorious Days of the 1960's Revolution, Honeycomb Cereal had The Archies vinyl cut-out records on the back of boxes with songs like "Sugar, Sugar". We were then instructed to play them backwards to get subliminal messages like "Burn, baby, burn", "Kill the Piggies", "Down with Capitalism", "Free the Chicago 8", "Hey, Hey, LBJ, how many kids did you kill today?" and "Buy more Honeycomb Cereal"

Notice it was FREE just like our future healthcare under HRC

The Iranians needed some help. They were out of burqas, so we gave them a babushka from a liquidated kulak for the female sailor. Allah forbid she should be in Iran without her head being covered.

I'm glad her head is covered! Hopefully she will come to her senses and convert to the religion of peace, tolerance and prosperity to become a better wife among the other four. It would be a shame to see her stoned... a damn rotten shame! Speaking of stoned; The People's Commonwealth may move to ban smoking in all restuarants!!!!! HHOOORRRAAAY! Our Glorious Governor decided to add the amendment himself (Watch out NY and CA, we're ready to show YOU who is the most oppressive!).

Chairman M. S. Punchenko wrote:Speaking of stoned; The People's Commonwealth may move to ban smoking in all restuarants!!!!! HHOOORRRAAAY! Our Glorious Governor decided to add the amendment himself (Watch out NY and CA, we're ready to show YOU who is the most oppressive!).

I knew that we in The Peoples Commonwelth could count on our Glorious Comrade Governor Kaine to finally do what is right to protect the kulaks from themselves. Why??? Because he cares!!! As we all do!!! Sometimes we have to oppress the people in order to protect them from themselves. That is how we, the more gifted, the more cerebral, the more wealthy, show how much we care! How .... in tune we are with the ordinary man and woman.

Anybody gotta match?

--
Zampolit B. S. Blokhayev