Now exclusive on the People's Cube website!
In cooperation with the Federation of Bureaucratic Interventionists and the Central Impediment Agency, the People's Cube website will soon provide a live video feed straight from the white house bathroom! This will provide the public - and specifically the legacy media - with all the recent presidential leaks.
The bold move is part of a plan conceived in the waning days of the last administration, shifting the focus of the nation's intelligence agencies from spying on foreign "enemies" to a new objective: obstructing the real enemy of the global revolution, the US government.
After all, it's not because this guy got a lot of votes and he won some election, he can now start acting like he's the boss or something. That's not how it works. There are people with long careers in the government who have a lot of skin in the game. Their opinions about policy surely are worth more than a "vote" by some toothless blue-collar midwest hillbilly, right? I mean, before you know it, the proles will be in charge, breaking winds in the palaces of the mighty.
SQUEAL TEAM 6: THE RAID ON TRUMP'S WHITE HOUSE