The One who would rightfully replace Easter with Spring Spheres kicked off his new and improved 2012 campaign today assuring the masses that if they just gave him four more years he really would make sure everyone got lollipops, rainbows and unicorns.

Apparently it was old Bushy appointees who delayed distribution of the promised goods during Obama's first term. They have now been purged, of course.

Personally I can't wait for a second Obama term. I know that my life is infinitely better today than it was three years ago. It's amazing what one person can accomplish in such a short period. And it seemed so effortless as if he hadn't lifted a finger or made a single intelligent decision in his entire term. This, I think, is the sign of a truly great leader.

He does continue in his golfing greatness, apparently the clubs are some sort of tuner that allows him to be be in touch with the rest of us while golfing.

The only unfortunate incident happened when another golfer accidently whacked his balls!Major Mistake was there to render first aid, his on scene reporting was "He only seemed three feet tall".

Barack Rides Unicorns, Michelle Rides Dolphins

Obama is the reason why I drink (simple, horiz)


Obama is the reason why I drink (simple, horiz)


Obama is the reason why I drink (unicorn, vert)


Obama is the reason why I drink


Obama is the reason why I drink