Image

Lurch for Secretary of Defense!!!

User avatar
lurch.jpg

Comrades, another high point in Dear Leader's now eternal presidency! Apparently TheOne™ is considering Senator John "Lurch" Kerry for Secretary of Defense!!!

It's a beautiful thing.

Can you just imagine the medals he'd be officially authorized to throw away??? It boggles the mind... And the POSSIBILITIES for submitting to the enemy, with Dear Leader on point, bowing, as Kerry "brings up the rear"...

Can it get much better?

YES IT CAN!!!

FORRRRWAAAAAAAARRRRDDDDDDDD!!!!!!!!!

User avatar
I can see it now, they will remove the tiny tabasco bottles from our rations, and replace them with packets of Heinz Ketchup. Lets see, who might possibly benefit from such an action?

User avatar
Myself, I'm pondering just how dangerous it is to be the Secretary of Defense. I can see more fake well deserved Purple Hearts in Comrade Kerry's future for, say, stapler wounds and paper cuts. Maybe a Silver Star for making sure an actually deserving soldier or three doesn't get their medals that only those with the proper political bent are equally awarded medals.

I can't personally think of anyone better suited to be Secretary of Defense than Comrade Senator John Kerry!

User avatar
This is so cool. Kerry could berth his yacht at the Navy Yard near D.C.

Think of it......... four years without taxes and docking fees !

User avatar
Swift Boats were brown-water craft. Now, to make this work, he could park it in the Potomac right outside of the Pentagon, and he could just have medals delivered with the ink still wet on the certificates.

User avatar
FondaKerry.JPG
I'm rather fonda Kerry - which reminds me, may I be so bold as to suggest Jane Fonda as Secretary of State, now that MTE is leaving? She always had such a good rapport with our enemies...

HanoiJane.JPG

User avatar
I fear we can push the military too far my comrades. They are a dangerous group and everyone with a gun or hundreds of guns in this country supports them. Our swift boat comrade might be a bridge too far. Remember, we have no guns of our own and condoms won't be enough protection of the proper kind. Perhaps I am worried unnecessarily. I should not doubt nor lose faith in the ability of our dear leader's personality to carry the day.

User avatar
Never forget, Comrade Comrade - we have those of the Religion of Peace™ on our side. They will protect us if necessary!

User avatar
"We vehemently deny the scurrilous rumors that after losing the election to imperialist Bush we packed Comrade Kerry in a box car to the Outer Siberia and that we replaced him with a cardboard cutout in the Senate. There has never been a mixup at the railroad station as Comrade Kerry was impossible to tell apart from his cutout. What a ridiculous charge! We don't waste people's money on packing box cars with cardboard cutouts! This is a big imperialist lie! Besides, the guilty have already been punished. Discipline is discipline."

Kerry Exposes US Spy, Gets People's Hero Medal Award

Image
Senator John Kerry, who after losing the 2004 election was purged and declared "non-person" by CommunistsForKerry.com (CFK), a powerful pressure group that acts as a shadow Politburo behind the DNC, may now be forgiven and allowed to resume his revolutionary duties for his successful exposure of a CIA spyyesterday.

At a hearing to discuss the nomination of John Bolton as US ambassador to the United Nations, politicians discussed a dispute over Bolton's treatment of an intelligence analyst, referred to as "Mr Smith." But when Kerry read from a transcript of closed door interviews he gave out the name of Fulton Armstrong that had not previously come up.

"The Party sees everything," said anunnamed CFK source. "The revolutionary discipline calls for the use of ‘sticks and carrots' or as we refer to them ‘medals and purges.' And when Kerry saw the opportunity to expose a CIA spy and heroically jumped at it with total disregard for his reputation, we say he deserves a medal. This one is not going to be thrown away like the others!" the source added with a cheerless smile.

User avatar
JohnKerrySecDef.jpg
Today at a White House press briefing, Senator John Kerry explained how as Secretary of Defense he would "move the military out of the way", in order to get things moving progressively FORWARD! for the United Soviet States of America.

When asked what he meant by that, exactly, Kerry replied with something that sounded like a long groan but was quite possibly actual speech.

President B. Hussein Obama said to "Let me be clear", and that a rumor of a large deposit having just been made into an offshore account of his that coincidentally was exactly equal to a large amount just debited from one of John and "Terayza" Heinz's Kerry's offshore accounts was "just plain silly" and an obvious Romney ploy.

User avatar
R.O.C.K. in the USSA wrote:
JohnKerrySecDef.jpg
Today at a White House press briefing, Senator John Kerry explained how as Secretary of Defense he would "move the military out of the way", in order to get things moving progressively FORWARD! for the United Soviet States of America.

When asked what he meant by that, exactly, Kerry replied with something that sounded like a long groan but was quite possibly actual speech.

President B. Hussein Obama said to "Let me be clear", and that a rumor of a large deposit having just been made into an offshore account of his that coincidentally was exactly equal to a large amount just debited from one of John and "Terayza" Heinz's Kerry's offshore accounts was "just plain silly" and an obvious Romney ploy.
I thought he said "he had to take a shit this big."

Perhaps Comrade Kerry could regain his original accent for the job, the one he had when he gave his "Winter Soldier" testimony.
When I first heard some of that testimony, I thought "Thurston Howell"!

User avatar
Comrades, it's getting deeper and deeper - we need Kerry to step in NOW to clean house of these evil conservative military leaders!

Comrade Secretary of Defense John Kerry will know what the meaning of "is" is!

User avatar
AyersAndDohrn.jpg
While we're on a roll, with Dear Leader doing all he can to make a total mockery of properly establish a better and more functional feral federal government, can anyone think of anybody better suited than these two to co-lead the Department of Homeland Security?

And it'll keep it "all in the (Chicago) family" too!

User avatar
Will Kerry decline the position before he accepts it?

User avatar
Image

Who for Sec. of Def.? Sorry, I don't recall ever hearing of this person before. For comrades that fail to understand, I recommend you visit this page of the Mausoleum of the 2004 Revolution. Inner party members are already aware of their roots. Party members that don't remember their roots will get acquainted with a different type of root. Namely, beet roots after we frog march you to the gulag.
I'm sure that if there ever existed (and I'm not saying he did) a "senator" named John Kerry, who failed the party by losing to the evil "bushitler", then the only recourse would be to insure he never fails the party again (wink, wink).
Surely any reasonable party member knows this!
Image


 
POST REPLY