Dear Comrades,

By order of the White Fortress, all citizens of the glorious USSA are instructed to submit all financial instruments to the Party is the struggle to defeat the counter-revolutionary elements seeking to suppress the Masses through Capitalism and non-conformism in the upcoming battle of 2014.

Comrade Commissarka and Party Chairman-Supervisor Michelle Fraserovna Obama has ordered the emptying of all bank accounts, retirement funds, and privately-hoarded money stashes for use by the Party in defeating the Republicans in the upcoming Class War, otherwise known as the 2014 Election Cycle.

Collectivized funds will be used to print and distribute propaganda materials in the effort to agitate the workers and peasants of the USSA into action.

During a rousing speech in support of Massachusetts Oblast People's Senate candidate Ed Markey, Comrade Michelle shouted to an exuberant crowd, “Keep writing those checks. And if you haven't maxed out, max out!” After a 15-minute standing ovation, an armed escort assisted the citizens present at the speech to a nearby ATM, where they happily complied with their Party's request.

Those citizens who do not respond to the call of the Party can expect to have their non-compliance noted and are subject to further scrutiny by State officials.

Comrades, turn over your savings for the good of the Party!
Together we can defeat the reactionaries in the 2014 Class War!

Faithfully submitted to the Collective of the People's Cube,
Comrade Nomenklatura-climber
Dialectical Progressivism Translator

Yummy! I wonder if money tastes like chicken?

Sorry for my absence, but it is radish-planting season here at Collective Farm #47, and I have been working my patriotic fingers to the bone for the good of the Masses!

Comrades,...
Dear Leader and the demosocialist party are fighting the rich capitalists for you. They want to take away your freedom (cough) that you have in glorious socialism. They want to make you work and take responsibility for yourself. How revolting? They will question your diagnosis of a bad back or being bi-polar. You may lose your rat infested government hovel or even your free phone. Send all of your checks to help us to fight...freedom.

OH MYYY, the First Horse is going after the money as if it were lobster... this is the way I felt when I received my introductory exam by the IRS Comrades (but you didn't hear that from me).

I am hating to be saying, but I have emptied my bank account and paid my "fair share", but I will be happy to access the accounts of a few comrades at the Cube, so they too, can be sharing the "fair share" experience. "ANYTHING FOR HUSSEIN!" (bumper sticker will be available at the Peoples Barber Shop & Gynecological Exam Center a week from next Tuesday.)

Fraulein Frankenfeinstein wrote:OH MYYY, the First Horse is going after the money as if it were lobster... this is the way I felt when I received my introductory exam by the IRS Comrades (but you didn't hear that from me).

I am hating to be saying, but I have emptied my bank account and paid my "fair share", but I will be happy to access the accounts of a few comrades at the Cube, so they too, can be sharing the "fair share" experience. "ANYTHING FOR HUSSEIN!" (bumper sticker will be available at the Peoples Barber Shop & Gynecological Exam Center a week from next Tuesday.)

Fraulein,

I must have overlooked sending the memo to you regarding the Gynecological Exam Center. I'm afraid it will be closed for a few days while a new incinerator is being installed. Feel free to distribute your current bumper stickers at my nut shop and screen door repair facility during this period. Craptek.

(#%$#!! WHO IS IN CHARGE OF MEMO REDISTRIBUTION??!!)

Thank you Comrade Defender of of the Peoples Nuts (you know we hold you in such high esteem) although your overlooking of what should be overlooked has cause the Frau to look uninformed and irresponsible just as our dear leader does!!! ....... umm, wait, this is a good thing ..... and it is also your fault, which is a good thing.....

Please peoples, go to Craptek's Nut Shop and Screen Door Repair facility for glorious bummer stick! (consider this your official updated memo!) Here is what we are striving for: each comrades car must support our dear leader! If you are not sticking, you are not supporting.

... now back to submission of all financials (and do not forget to be reporting un-supporting neighbors!!)

Famous last words: “My husband can't do it alone,” - Barack Obama

Counterpunch wrote:Famous last words: “My husband can't do it alone,” - Barack Obama

Does this mean that our Paяty Dэaя Lэadэя, Barack Hussein Obama, has a husband?????