Our friends at Homeland Security are at it again. They seem to have gotten their terrorists mixed up. I thought I would call "Big Sis" Napolitano this morning and tell her that Rev. Manning only called Obama a "long legged mack daddy"... he didn't kill 13 civilians and soldiers in the name of "Allah". Now he did call Obama a name in the name of "Atlah" Ministries, maybe Big Sis thought it was "Allah" Ministries. Surely there's just a big mistake. Rev. Manning, will you broadcast from Riker's Island?

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First moment I thought glorious gridiron gods Eli, Peyton, or Archie were heading for show trial.

This Manning fellow is a clown comrades. He's the evil version of Rev. Wright from a parallel dimension. Pay him no mind.

The Teabagger malcontents are fools if they think they can defeat Dear Leader with protests and cardboard signs. We know the truth comrades, all power flows from the barrel of a gun and right now, Obama has all the guns (I'm sure those nice SS officers who visited Manning were well armed).

All I can say is, it's a good thing half the people who marched in DC didn't bring rifles or the Inner Party of the Cube would be on a raft right now paddling hell bent for Cuba.

Comrade Whoopie although I know your dreadlocks help you tune in secret socialist signals do not be complacent about thundering buffaloes like Manning and Limbaugh. Just by sheer kinetic force their rants have effect on weak conservative mind that reaches level of agitation almost equal to our own opposite supreme serenity. While only socialist are sane in weird fruit loop way big loud talkers use logic in their subversive sermons. I do not wish to cause comrades concern but have you heard of Three PerCenters or OathKeepers? If not I will be discreet because those thought crimes might cause disturbing dreams in the collective.

Yes, I know who these "Oath Keepers" and "3 Percenters" are. If memory serves, I was the first one to blow the whistle on these dangerous lunatics here at the Cube.

The problem is as simple as organizing "Unswearing Ceremonies" for vets and cops. Give them the chance to raise their right hand and renounce their hasty and ill conceived oath.

And any vet or cop who fails to attend can be put on the terror watch list along with any gun owners. Then we can all sleep safe and secure in the knowledge that nothing will interfere with our long march toward Socialism.