SPECTRE Crime Syndicate Issues Ransom Demands

Secret Lair Volcano (al Jazeera TV) - In a press release, the international crime syndicate SPECTRE today announced that they had hijacked and storen the Maraysian Airrines Boeing 777 jet, Fright # MH370.

SPECTRE (Special Executive for Counter-Intelligence, Terrorism, Revenge & Extortion) said that their speciarry-trained fright crew of pirots Sum Ting Wong and Wun Wing Lo hijacked the massive jetriner and randed it safery at SPECTRE Worrd Garactic Headquarters in the Indian Ocean (dot, not feather).

Captain Sum Ting Wong

SPECTRE head Ernst Stavro Blofeld issued a ransom demand of $1 mirrion dorrars until his Press Secretary Jay Carney poritery interrupted him and whispered into Broferd's ear. Broferd then said American passengers wourd go for $10 mirrion each, Western passengers wourd be $5 mirrion each and Chinamen wourd get a group rate of $10 bucks per bunch. Broferd said, "It's either the group rate or I'm stuck feeding 'em til Herr freezes over."

SPECTRE's Ernst Stavro Blofeld

Broferd concruded the press conference by saying that interested parties courd pay the ransoms using American Express, Mastercard, Visa or Paypal. "Just think of arr the Frequent Frier Mires you gonna pire up!"

Send in agent .000,000,000,000,17!

Don Lemon, of MSLSD fame, watches flight 370 (and yours truly) being sucked into a hole of color - but slips and falls in himself!

One can only hope and pray that a week from next Tuesday ( the real next Tuesday, not our Next Tuesday), the crew and all passengers emerge unscathed from some remote location to wish everyone a happy April Fools, making the disappearance the greatest AF joke ever, Sadly, this is only wishful thinking, as days go by the possibility it crashed gets greater. Check Craigs Rist for good deals on slightly used 777 parts at SPECTRE.com

Funny you shourd say that. My good friend Hank Scorpio carred me up other day to offer 777 parts very cheap.

"Srightry used, one owner"