When a “Marxist” “collectivist” “worker-run” restaurant with no managers, a “living wage,” and a strong union opened in Grand Rapids, Michigan, no one suspected trouble. What could go wrong?
The first sign of trouble was a pile of unpaid bills. Nobody in the kollektive wanted to pay a single ruble to capitalist exploiters of the toiling masses. Then there were ridiculous taxes that for some reason took too much out of everyone's equal share. Finally, there was this stupid requirement to show up to work, let alone on time. And if you made the mistake of showing up, you were expected to do some work. Even worse, you were expected to make the hungry insolent idiots on the other side of the counter happy, otherwise they wouldn't give you your deserved money.
These were all stupid capitalist rules that no dignified human being should have to put up with. And they didn't. So the restaurant closed, unable to function in a ruthless capitalist environment which is based on a voluntary exchange of money. If only the money could be extracted from the customers by the socialist government by force, the Marxist diner in Grand Rapids, Michigan, would still be open today.
Down with capitalism, comrades!
Read the news report here:
- No comrade was hammed in the making of this sammich.
- They should have issued ration booklets to keep hopeful customers coming back for the off chance there would be tofu next Tuesday.
- They should have opened up a different store and sold elite "Commissar level" memberships that had set hours, no line and better food
- Ungrateful bourgeois do not understand the struggle. The ceaseless propaganda of Americanski Sitcoms...
- Wait! It's your turn to pay the sales taxes this month and you didn't! It's your fault.
- They did not use the Das Kapital One card. Shame on them. Neither did they fill out the correct paperwork from the government to get free money.
c'mon... of course mass nutrition provided via kollektive waiters/waitresses does work under Marxism-Leninism. Certainly also the vegan variant. I haff visual proof!
(then again, I also haff real-life stories from my lil' handful of trips to/across Soviet Union...)
[ here Dummkopf self-muffles his inner Comrade, in Dr. Strangelove mode ]
and now visual proof :
The first one : by contemporary Valery Barykin (already known in Kube, and once upon a time shown in a bond with America).
The second one : an oldie of 1948 ‒ WE SERVE EVERY VISITOR CULTURALLY (= courteously + stylishly). Barykin referred to THAT "Kremlin Program" of yore.
as said above : I also haff real-life stories...)
Red SquareThere's a shadow kollektive [Facebook, Twitter] following us and discussing our posts ...
Those kollektives - they sit in GULAG or in Umiat, Alaska? or both?
(last time I checked, not yet.)
(Marx forbid, no complaint ‒ I know that Gubmint is toiling hard on many fronts.)
Oh, wait, we already tried that in Russia, didn't we?
What I was trying to say is: this is clearly sabotage by Capitalist asocial elements!
Minitrueya think they had wolf milk in this restaurant?
Golly, "Shoe and Shoe Lace" sounds great, but it's not listed in my TV Guide! Damn it!
Genosse DummkopfWE SERVE EVERY VISITOR CULTURALLY (= courteously + stylishly). ... (... I also haff real-life stories...)
Among Robert Heinlein's copious writings, there is a story of how he and his wife visited the USSR. INTURIST -- USSR's "tourist agency" monopoly catering to foreigners failed to deliver on its promises just as the rest of the country did.
The only way to get anything out of the INTURIST officials was to accuse them of acting "NEKULTURNO" (unculturally).