A spokesman for The Angry Left Group (Nasdaq index ALG), has announced today a finalized plan for a hostile takeover of The Onion magazine, a move that is likely to result in a more consistent ideological indoctrination of the American public.
The Onion, America's best-known satirical magazine, has been known for years to have an inclination towards angry and leftist rhetoric, but now being angry or left will no longer be an option.
"Angry" and "Left," merged together in one "Angry Left" idiom, will now be the magazine's mandatory editorial policy. The right-leaning and even non-political authors will be thoroughly weeded out in the spirit of the Angry Left's understanding of freedom of speech. In this The Onion will follow The Nation, The New Republic, The New York Times, and many other publications acquired by Angry Left Group in recent decades.
The Angry Left Group's growing monopoly in mass media, entertainment, and education has caused some Republican lawmakers in Washington to come up with a proposition to apply the Anti-Trust Laws against the Angry Left.
The proposition calls for splitting the powerful Angry Left Group into smaller Baby Lefties as it has been done previously to other monopolies, such as, AT&T. Observers are hoping to be able to watch the Baby Lefties compete and go at each other's throats, adopting to the laws of free market economy they are currently trying to eliminate.