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Michael Moore offers more eclipses

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[img]/images/various_uploads/Michael_Moore_Solar_Eclipse.jpg[/img]

Michael Moore has just announced that he is willing to go into space and cause a total solar eclipse "up to three times a year" to help combat Global Warming.

When asked why he had volunteered, he said, "First of all, I'm big enough to blot out the sun for the entire planet. Secondly, NASA says they don't have rockets powerful enough to get Rosie O'Donnell up there. Third, F*ck Trump."

NASA has not decided yet whether to supply Mr. Moore with hot dogs and pizza while he is in orbit. "We can only lift so much," a spokesperson explained, "and we have to look at our rocket fuel capacity very closely. A committee has been formed to study the issue."

Most leaders of the Global Warming religion are skeptical, calling this a "publicity stunt" for Moore's flagging popularity. "Communism is by far a more superior solution," one of them said. "It would be much better if we could just get the USA to go Communist. That would be a final solution to the global warming problem."


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Chairman Meow wrote:
eclipse.jpg

Some moons are "more equal" than other moons!

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[img]/images/various_uploads/Michael_Moore_Solar_Eclipse_2.jpg[/img]

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It seems we have just come out of a total solar eclipse that lasted eight long years. Not another one!

[img]/images/various_uploads/Solar_Eclipse_Obama_Alone.jpg[/img]

[img]/images/various_uploads/Solar_Eclipse_Obama_Multiple.jpg[/img]

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Pink Floyd (obviously a fellow traveler) said "I'll see you on the dark side of the moon." Clearly a comrade ahead of his time.

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Chairman Meow, are you certain that The Cheeseburger er, I mean Comrade Moore's placard did not originally read, "We Are All Morons"?
I am just worried that his Most Equal words have not been edited.

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Mikhail Lysenkomann wrote: NASA has not decided yet whether to supply Mr. Moore with hot dogs and pizza while he is in orbit. "We can only lift so much," a spokesperson explained, "and we have to look at our rocket fuel capacity very closely. A committee has been formed to study the issue."

[Sigh]

Not even my babushka N-1 has such a payload capacity!

- SK

N-1-a.jpg



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...and ISIS will claim responsibility for every one of Moor-caused eclipses.

[img]/images/various_uploads/Solar_Eclipse_ISIS_TV_Claim.jpg[/img]


 
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