Three days after the Panty Bomber attack, Dear Leader held a press conference, and his statements certainly might lead one to believe that Dear Leader may well appoint himself as the Panty Bomber's attorney. In a speech shortly after the incident Dear Leader said this:

". . . the suspect is now in custody and has been charged with attempting to destroy an aircraft."

Notice how Dear Leader's attorney general did not charge Mr. Farouk with the attempted murder of over 300 people, but rather, a more defendable charge of "attempting to destroy an aircraft." Could it be that this was done so that Dear Leader, as Mr. Farouk's attorney, might have the option of plea bargaining the charges down to nothing more than the attempted destruction of a plane seat?

Dear Leader also stated in his speech:

"An alert and courageous citizenry are far more resilient than an isolated extremist."

Whew. I can't tell you what a comfort it is to have Dear Leader assure us that Mr. Farouk was an isolated extremist! What a relief, to know that this was an isolated act.

Here is another statement Dear Leader made that lends to the possibility that Dear Leader is preparing himself to defend Mr. Farouk:

"A passenger allegedly tried to ignite an explosive device on his body setting off a fire."

I am also in great admiration of Dear Leader for not acknowledging that over lauded passenger known as the Flying Dutchman, only mentioning the passengers and crew as part of a collective group of heroes, to wit:

". . . thanks to the quick and heroic actions of passengers and crew, the suspect was immediately subdued, the fire was put out,and the plane landed safely.

Now I ask you, comrades, what does this tell you? Does this not imply that Dear Leader believes in the innocence of Mr. Farouk, and he is leaving the door open for the possibility of becoming his attorney?

I think so. It may well be that, if Dear Leader appoints himself as Farouk's attorney, he will be able to prove beyond a reasonable doubt that Farouk, very well may have been the unfortunate accidental victim of a lit match!

Well, if Dear Leader does for the Undie Bomber like he's done for America...well, he's done for.

America never fear, Captain Underpants is here!


I propose a new underwear tax to stop this nation's bombing clax.

Copyright 2009 Scavok. Permission granted to distribute provided this notice remains completely intact.

Old MacDonald had a ticket,
Ee i ee i oh!
And on that plane he had a seat,
Ee i ee i oh!
With a poke-poke here,
And a pat-pat there

Here a shoe, there a shoe,
Everywhere a shoe-shoe
Old MacDonald had a ticket,
Ee i ee i oh!

Old MacDonald had a ticket,
Ee i ee i oh!
And on that plane he had a seat,
Ee i ee i oh!
With a wand-wave here,

And a wand-wave there
Here a wand, there a wand,
Everywhere a wand-wave
Old MacDonald had a ticket
Ee i ee i oh!

Old MacDonald had a ticket,
Ee i ee i oh!
And on that plane he had a seat,
Ee i ee i oh!

With a grope-grope here,
And a grope-grope grope-grope there
Here a grope-grope, there a grope-grope,
Everywhere a grope-grope-grope
Old MacDonald had a ticket
Ee i ee i oh!

Old MacDonald had a ticket,
Ee i ee i oh!
And on that plane he had a seat,
Ee i ee i oh!

With a cavity-search here,
And a cavity-search there
Here a cavity, there a cavity,
Everywhere a cavity-search
Old MacDonald wished he had just stayed home,
Ee i ee i oh!

Copyright 2009 Scavok. Permission granted to distribute provided this notice remains completely intact.

WAIT, WAIT.... They're PROSECUTING poor little Umpah Fructose Abbajabba.... Umpire Flatulent Abscam.... that poor Nigerian guy????? I thought they were going to prosecute the scumbag passenger who stopped him from practicing his religion and violated his First Amendment rights (they're not just for citizens anymore!)

Prosecution for lighting a fire cracker? That's a little harsh.
Just In:

Obama Undie-Bomber speech - the REAL version!

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and
The System Worked!

(off)
If Obama really defends this guy, well, come to America, where the leader of it will defend you, even if you were intending to hurt the nation!

Welcome Comrade Scavokovich,

Thank you for your entertaining little song. We can always use another poet to entertain us in the Gulag.

Comrades Whoopie and Elliott,

Never have I seen more equal treatment of a mass murdering Muslim a wayward prankster.

Comrade Opiate,

I see that Comrade Grigori has set the record straight about your question, that the plan is, indeed, to prosecute the Fly Dutchman.

Comrade Captain Underpants,

For some strange reason, you are not on the member list. Are you a posuer? Report directly to Colonel 7.62 for interrogation!