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Mopping up the Opposition: A Lesson from History

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The Westminster divines, who were all African-Englishmen, gathered to discuss important doctrinal issues in the mid 17th Century, and in 1648, they presented to Parliament the Westminster Confession of Faith and the Larger and Shorter Catechisms. This was during the time when that famous African-Englishman, Oliver "Kume" Cromwell became Lord Redistributor of the realm after leading an uprising to overthrow the rule of the very white Charles I. These documents actually anticipated events going on today, and leave us with much needed guidance for the present.

One question they asked in the Shorter Catechism was, "What is Whitey's Chief End?" The answer is, "Whitey's Chief End is to grovel before Obama and beg his Forgiveness forever." But the most important question for our current needs is, "What is Racism?" They brilliantly answered, "Racism is any want of Conformity unto or Transgression of the Will of Obama."

So, what have they handed us? A weapon, comrades, a very powerful weapon. Think about it (well, don't think too much because that can lead to wrong thoughts), what more do we need to intimidate what remains of the opposition into silence than simply accusing them of racism? For example:

Evil Repugnantcan: I'm in favor of offshore drilling.

Enlightened Comrade: Why? So we can set our thermostats at whatever temperature we want and drive our SUVs while people's hero Robert Mugabe shivers in his homeless shelter in Zimbabwe? Racist!

Evil Repugnantcan: I'm, I'm sorry. Yes, you're right, I see it all so clearly now, I must repent of my craven racism.
or…
Evil Repugnantcan: We should be strong militarily so we don't invite another terrorist attack.

Enlightened Comrade: Why? So America can impose its racist views on the third world to satisfy your racist desire to dominate the downtrodden?

Evil Repugnantcan: I'm, I'm so sorry. I don't know what came over me. Oh, how I hate myself!
or…
Evil Repugnantcan: I think the government seizing our 401k accounts is naked socialism.

Enlightened Comrade: Why? So you can keep all your money to yourself while minorities go without? Racism, dude!

Evil Repugnantcan: I'm, I'm so ashamed. I can never forgive myself.
then again…
Evil Repugnantcan: I think –

Enlightened Comrade: Racism! Racism!

Evil Repugnantcan: Okay, I'll shut up.

You see, comrades, we must intimidate the leftovers of the opposition immediately so as to not repeat the disaster of the 1994 election when rogue White Army terrorists led by slave owner Newt Gingrich seized power and executed all the progressive Democrats which not only brought the progressive policies of America's first black president to a halt, but also paved the way for the Bush administration which has executed over 300,000,000 minority Americans in its eight year Reign of Terror. Thanks to the Westminster divines who foresaw the advent of The One, we have a handy weapon at our disposal guaranteed to permanently shut down debate and silence the enemies of the People™ until they dare speak no more. This time, it's in the bag, comrades.


 
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