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Napolitano Caught Hiring Muslim Brotherhood Terrorist

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Comrades:It has come to our attention that there has been a rather large breach in the Party's information security systems. Some infiltrator has leaked to the general public that SHS Janet Incompetolitano Napolitano hired a Muslim Brotherhood Terrorist and also gave him a Top-Secret security clearance. The damage may beyond our agents in the MSM to cover and repair. Needless to say that heads are going to roll. The Party would clearly miss a faithful Party member like skunk-haired Janet, if she has to take the fall for it. It is the duty of every loyal party member to help our official Party Organs and come up with headlines in this regard to distract the general public and the People's enemies the Republicans in the House of representatives.


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"Republicans Revoke Freedom of Religion in the name of Racism!"

Sub-titled

"Second Amendment challenged by Republicans, as DHS employee with Top Secret clearance probably has a gun, somewhere... Charges of Muslim Terrorism alleged"

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Proletarian Robot wrote:It is the duty of every loyal party member to help our official Party Organs and come up with headlines in this regard to distract the general public
May I suggest reviving our glorious tool -

The New York Times 2006 Headlines Predictor

Of course, the Current Truth has somewhat changed since 2006 when Bush was in power and the job of the media was to undermine the authority of the sitting president. It's quite the opposite today, when the job of the media is to support the sitting president and to denounce those who undermine his authority, calling them traitors.

And yet perhaps something can still be salvaged.

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Comrade Tovarichi: Most equal post, you only have to give up 1/3 of your rations instead of the usual 1/2....

Comrade Red Square: Thank you for directing us to this useful Party approved agitation tool that will serve us in this generation by spreading and transmitting new and progressive ideas (by the minute). Here are some great headlines it generated to help obfuscate the issue further:

Minority Groups: CIA Surveillance of Terrorists Is Melting Polar Ice Caps

Minority Groups: Immigration Reform Erodes Civil Liberties


 
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