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Be an Astronaut: NASA Accepting Applications for Future Explorers

I denounce NASA! They have turned their back on the primary mission of making Muslimic comrades feel good about their ancestors' contributions to science, math, and diversity training!

NASA is again hiring astronauts and the criteria does not list beet tending, tractor repair, distilling vodka vegetable-based fuels, suicide vest manufacturer, or even the ability to behead infidels!

What do these snobby elitists want? Advanced degrees, responsible management experience, perhaps 1000 hours of jet pilot experience, and the ability to pass a physical examination!

Why don't they just come out and say "only rich white males need apply?" <spit>

I agree with all of the above points, but the applicants should also be warned of certain rules regulating their behavior as space explorers.

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And when a surprise delivery of a thousand tons of propellant and oxidizer lands on the heads of the good people of Florida, every animate object within a ten mile radius will be suddenly saying 'Hi! My, you're thin!' to the Great Equalizer.*

* Not Sam Colt.

Comrades,

Since there's no stampede heading for the People's Computer to volunteer I suppose it's up to me to save the day - as usual. (PLEASE - no comments about the fit!)

HAL: "Hey Dave, you left your helmet in the pod bay, and there's a rat in it."

Pod: "Dave? Dave's not here, man."

Lev Termen wrote:HAL: "Hey Dave, you left your helmet in the pod bay, and there's a rat in it."

Pod: "Dave? Dave's not here, man."

Comrade,

Soon, I will be discussing you and some others with Laika. Consider this before issuing any further snide remarks. Also, if the helmet's one or two sizes too large - get used to it! Remember, we will be passing overhead again and again observing your every move! Why don't you play "Off We Go Into The Wild Blue Yonder" or something inspiring on your noise maker and leave the flying to us?

Captain Craptek wrote:Why don't you play "Off We Go Into The Wild Blue Yonder" or something inspiring on your noise maker and leave the flying to us?

I suggest the Stephen Adams performance of "The Holy City ...


... followed by a dose of "The Village that Voted the Earth was Flat," Your Honor Craptek.