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NASA Study Concludes We’re Doomed!

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Well, comrades, the end is nearer than we thought. We're doomed. Yes, that's what I said. Doomed! Our civilization, or what's left of it, is on the fast track to extinction. (or worse) It's time to stock up on all the bread and milk you can find, get the kids and livestock inside, and batten down the hatches! (a few drums of Popov won't hurt either)

A NASA-funded study: Mathematician Safa Motesharrei of the US National Science Foundation-supported National Socio-Environmental Synthesis Center, (that's the USNSF-NSESC, if you've been in orbit too long) has been playing computer games. You know, like Sym City, except much, much more expensive. As we all know, more expensive equals more realistic, more accurate. And the USNSF-NSESC has the most expensive, realistic, accurate games around.

And exactly what did Safa Motesharrei discover while playing his very expensive game? He discovered that history repeats itself. Yes. What's more, he confirmed that our old friend Karl Marx was right after all.

Capitalism will spread throughout the world. This, in turn, will lead to a growing disparity of wealth between the rich and poor. The peasants will huddle together in their squaller, discontent, plotting their revenge. But oblivious to the needs of others, the uncaring rich will continue to consume more and more of the Earth's resources. Motesharrei estimates their population will grow for about another 125 years. Then suddenly, as if by magic, there will be a total collapse of society.

That's about it, comrades. It's just that simple. It's basic math, and Safa Motesharrei is a mathematician. He ran the model on his computer. Buy extra bread for the squirrels.

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His premises look suspiciously Malthusian. GIGO. So this is what NASA has been reduced to, studies commissioned to produce what the Obama administration wants in order to give a gloss of "science" to the "income inequality" rationalization for more bigger statism.

Captain Craptek wrote:And exactly what did Safa Motesharrei discover while playing his very expensive game? He discovered that history repeats itself.

... Motesharrei estimates their population will grow for about another 125 years. Then suddenly, as if by magic, there will be a total collapse of society. .

Well, I discovered by playing Angry Birds that what goes around, comes around, just like that boomerang bird that looks like a toucan. Further, I did it a lot cheaper than he did.

However, it takes a lot of nuts (Captain C. takes two steps forward, displays contents of larder) to extrapolate those results to whatever the world is 125 years from now.

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I didn't even read the study, but I do know that it is bullshit. That's what NASA has become: make Muslims feel good, promote Al Gore. Nothing about space. They want the charm without the work.

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Oh, comrades of little faith. Heed the words of Motesharrei The Mathematician. He has run the numbers, and the numbers cannot lie. Prepare yourselves quickly. 125 years is but a blink of the eye.

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Captain is right,

there is nothing we can do, the science is settled. I'm sick and tired of guys like Halliburton clinging to his Bible and gun, when it will do him no good whatsoever. We're all dead men walking anyways. I say we confiscate what's left of the evil 1% ers capital and distribute it right now to us commoners, this way, we can hold off the inevitable for maybe one more generation.

Maybe now the thick Repugnicants can figure out why Dear Leader is following the words of Comrade Marx to the letter. Stupid Repugnicants.Science doesn't lie, if we don't die from global warming ™ our future generations will die due to starvation and dehydration, it's as simple as that. ACCEPT it comrades, it's over, Comrade Motesharrei says so and he works for Dear Leader and Dear Leader is never wrong.

Just a hunch, but I suspect Grand Prince Obama has already anticipated Armageddon, and has a secret lair nicely outfitted with two to three hundred years of food, water, and entertainment. So all is not lost, we'll all be dead along with our progeny, but we have the seeds of a new super generation at our disposal as Dear Leader can reproduce asexually, at will, he just has not wanted to do this yet.


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Thank you Great Prince of the World (PBUH), thank you for saving the human species from total extinction, thank you for being, yourself, you are really swell.

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I denounce this report of junk science!
If NASA were truly involved as Comrade Frum was alluding toward (finish your homework, comrade!) it would have been written in Arabic to boost the self esteem of our mooslimic comrades.

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Who could dispute Comrade Motesharrei's conclusions given his credentials? (Research Assistant and PhD candidate in Applied Mathematics/Public Policy at the University of Maryland). Of course public policy must be based on mathemagical models. It worked in Detroit!

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Anyer Marx wrote:Who could dispute Comrade Motesharrei's conclusions given his credentials? (Research Assistant and PhD candidate in Applied Mathematics/Public Policy at the University of Maryland). Of course public policy must be based on mathemagical models. It worked in Detroit!

I agree totally. Anyone who would dispute an academic elite is nothing more then an uneducated dolt. These individuals including our beloved President Obama, who have made a career in the lofty halls of higher education are obviously totally in tune with the 'real world' that the vast majority of us actually inhabit. Why just the other day, I was in awe of that Harvard educated genius and economic foreseer-er extraordinaire Paul Krugman when he had once stated:

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Captain Craptek wrote: Well, comrades, the end is nearer than we thought. We're doomed.
And that's what happens when NASA strays from its primary mission of Misloom Outreach.

Stupid computer games and the end of the world.

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Well, yes we are doomed and here is more proof from NASA Muslim Outreach The People's Space Agency!

They have just released this gigapixel image of the Moon's north pole. Note that the Moon's polar ice cap is completely missing.

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"If you like your armageddon, you can keep your armageddon. Period."

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Mikhail Lysenkomann wrote:Well, yes we are doomed and here is more proof from NASA Muslim Outreach The People's Space Agency!

They have just released this gigapixel image of the Moon's north pole. Note that the Moon's polar ice cap is completely missing.


Comrade Lysenkomann,

I heard the moon's cap slid into the Sea of Tranquility. Have they looked for it there?

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Mikhail Lysenkomann wrote:They have just released this gigapixel image of the Moon's north pole. Note that the Moon's polar ice cap is completely missing.

LRO-north-pole-still-copy-580x580.jpg
Not only that, they've divided it up into real estate sections! Don't they realize that the moon belongs equally to EVERYONE?!?

Captain Craptek wrote:Oh, comrades of little faith. Heed the words of Motesharrei The Mathematician. He has run the numbers, and the numbers cannot lie.

Let x = 1.
Square both sides: x2 = 1
Subtract 1 from both sides: x2 – 1= 0
Factor: (x+1)(x-1) = 0
Divide both sides by (x-1): x+1 = 0
Substitute the value of x: 1 + 1 = 0
Conclusion: 2 = 0.

Therefore, if I have zero beets, I have two beets.
Multiply both sides by any required factor to have as many beets as required.


... Well, Captain?



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[highlight=#NaNffff]"R.O.C.K. in the USSA"][ [/highlight]Not only that, they've divided it up into real estate sections! Don't they realize that the moon belongs equally to EVERYONE?!?
The Obama has exactly this in mind. His mind has been expanded by psychoactive hallucinogenics and the teachings of his [highlight=#NaNffff]Gamaliel Foundation. NASA mathematicians have provided the probability so that private property and capitalism may succumb to Agenda 21™[/highlight]

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Lev Termen wrote:
Captain Craptek wrote:Oh, comrades of little faith. Heed the words of Motesharrei The Mathematician. He has run the numbers, and the numbers cannot lie.

Let x = 1.
Square both sides: x2 = 1
Subtract 1 from both sides: x2 – 1= 0
Factor: (x+1)(x-1) = 0
Divide both sides by (x-1): x+1 = 0
Substitute the value of x: 1 + 1 = 0
Conclusion: 2 = 0.

Therefore, if I have zero beets, I have two beets.
Multiply both sides by any required factor to have as many beets as required.


... Well, Captain?



Comrade,

I tried pulling that one on Brain in Jar a year ago and was soundly thrashed. Comrade B in J was feeling kindly that day and referred me to a previous thread. In that thread was the secret of "The People's Math" - and only "The People's Math" can prove nothing equals something. Put in current political terms, only Dear Leader can divide our federal budget by $0 and produce a surplus. Some day we may understand Dear Leader's ways. Nice try, though.


 
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