Comrades! Animal lovers! Progressives and anti gunners! Rejoice! There is much great news from The People's Republik of New Jersey. First the fun part. It is perfectly legal to receive blow jobs from cows in New Jersey. That is korrekt! Just look at these progressive and open minded comments from the judge.

"If the cow had the cognitive ability to form thought and speak, would it say, 'Where's the milk? I'm not getting any milk,' " Judge James J. Morley asked.Children, Morley said, seemed "comforted" when given pacifiers, but there's no way to know what bovine minds thought of Robert Melia Jr. substituting his member for a cow's teat."They [children] enjoy the act of suckling," the judge said. "Cows may be of a different disposition."

Such heroic, noble and progressive thought. There are no hard and fast rules for moral and ethical behavior, they are all subjective and vague, depending on the whims and desires of the person and animals involved.

Of course, the same Judge later on, sent a man to prison for seven years, for transporting disassembled handguns, high capacity magazines and hollowpoint ammunition. Clearly a pillar of progressive thought, Judge Morley, and by extension the entire state of New Jersey is to be commended for protecting the right to have sex with animals, while ensuring that oppressive white male kulaks are kept from having tools of violence and mayhem. Congratulations New Jersey! One of the most progressive states in the Union!

(Out of Karaketer...) The case of Brian Aitken is pretty serious. Here we have a decent, law abiding citizen, an entrepreneur and hard working man just trying to get along. Then his life is turned upside down by insane laws, legal abuse, a crooked judge, and a rotten DA. Not to mention his own mother. For those comrades still living in the United States, and freely able to own, transport and carry firearms, take a moment and think of Mr. Aitken and his family. A Facebook fan page has been setup, and his family is asking for Christmas Cards, and letters to be sent to him in prison. Apparently they are the high point of his day. Mr. Aitken can be reached at:

Mid State Correctional Facility
Brian Aitken SBI 737585C
P.O. Box Range Road
Wrightstown NJ 08562

Then he [Melita Jr.] should have no problem shaking the kidde-rape charges, thanks to the Judge's naval gazing social experiments piercing insight into the world of Animal Psychology. He's like the Dr. Kinsey of the bovine kingdom.

Looks like the vile Governor of much girth Chris Christie (who just doesn't like us group think types) has ousted this most progressive minded judge!

I guess we can add cow molester to the list of things Gov. Christie has little patience for. This man must be stopped!

For comic relief, a pic of the progressive cow lover and his wifey.


One could only wonder why he would stray...

Comrade Buffoon wrote:Looks like the vile Governor of much girth Chris Christie (who just doesn't like us group think types) has ousted this most progressive minded judge!

I guess we can add cow molester to the list of things Gov. Christie has little patience for. This man must be stopped!

That flat earther Chris "Missionary" Christie rejects the progressive progress of pure empirical thought (Science) and thus the inevitable march of mankind into the "If it feels good, do it" ™ glorious World of Next Tuesday ™.

Hasn't he ever watched the "Dog Listener" for Lenin's sake?

This man obviously needs a therapist, but since he doesn't wield levers of power or have knowledge of any State Secrets, I have my doubts he would be eligible:



--SpyMasterAnnaChapman

Colonel,

I have already added it to my Facebook page. What an outrage! A POLICE OFFICER, and child molestation charges as well? DISGUSTING!

Buffoon, regarding the photo of cow lover and wife, to quote Al Bundy from "Married with Children":

"Why go out for milk when you have a cow at home?"

Now that I have popped my eyes back in my head after reading such shocking reading, I am wondering if the cow in question is part of a herd and this could be called cowhoring? I am not convinced that the cow participated willingly ( I mean seriously, LOOK AT THAT MAN) and was coerced into participation in gratifying favors. Shocking. I think PETA should do a full investigation.

As for the man transporting weaponry, hang him. "Guns kill people; not people killing guns . . . I mean, guns kill guns.... no, People get killed by guns and not guns killing guns"

oh, to hell with it!!!!

Comrades,

Calm yourselves!

This judge is simply adding his own definition to the term "animal husbandry" by expanding the current interpretation.

Yes, and of course, we know this judge would have the good sense to prosecute any man who dared to force a dear little calf to suck on the barrel of a gun, because all guns are evil.

[img]/red/images/clipart/Prog_Off.gif[/img]

Speaking of the decline of civilization.....
Has anyone here ever noticed that toilets always spin left when flushed ?

Comrade Buffoon wrote:Looks like the vile Governor of much girth Chris Christie (who just doesn't like us group think types) has ousted this most progressive minded judge!

I guess we can add cow molester to the list of things Gov. Christie has little patience for. This man must be stopped!

For comic relief, a pic of the progressive cow lover and his wifey.

One could only wonder why he would stray...

Before I get to your comment Buffoon, I'm going to say my piece on the original article.

If this just doesn't create a conundrum of liberal proportions. In one corner, we have PETA, the outraged organization that a man would have sex with animals, in the next corner, we have people who support bestiality, and in this corner, we have representatives of NAMBLA, though it isn't man boy love, it is of a man and a calf. Who will come out the winner in this three-way battle royal of cross-species romance?

Buffoon,
Do you think the people of New Joisey (with the accent) regret electing this guy to governor? I know I would. Oh, and please, don't tell me his middle name starts with a C as well (i.e. CCC).

Krasnodar wrote:
Speaking of the decline of civilization.....
Has anyone here ever noticed that toilets always spin left when flushed ?

Most loyal Comrade, this was mandated by Teddy Kennedy before he died (it would have been much harder, had he waited). It was to show honorage for dear Leader and all his doings. He works so hard, hardly sleeping or vacationing, to get His "hope" and "change" accomplished before he's remove... voted out of office. This way, he can have the fun of watching the water spin and follow his agenda.

Krasnodar wrote:
Speaking of the decline of civilization.....
Has anyone here ever noticed that toilets always spin left when flushed ?

Not if you're in the Souther Hemisphere, where the flush spins the opposite way. --KOOK

I'm sorry, but with all due respect, Komrade Kook..........NYET, NEIN, NO, NADA !
( insert tacky game-show buzzer sound in the background )

I know what your thinking..... " Coriolis Efffect " ( that's right....three "f"s !).
Most do. I know I did.

The effect is only applicable in a practical sense to large fluid masses as ocean currents and weather systems. It's to small to be noticed on small bodies of water ....... case in point, the spin is induced by the direction of the water jets under the toilet rim.

As in politics, the spin is manufactured.

( Don't check this out at home, kids.....the powerful vortex just might dye your hair blue.)

Krasnodar, defender of State mediocrity and part-time ICBM technician.

Krasnodar wrote:I'm sorry, but with all due respect, Komrade Kook..........NYET, NEIN, NO, NADA !
( insert tacky game-show buzzer sound in the background )

I know what your thinking..... " Coriolis Efffect " ( that's right....three "f"s !).
Most do. I know I did.

The effect is only applicable in a practical sense to large fluid masses as ocean currents and weather systems. It's to small to be noticed on small bodies of water ....... case in point, the spin is induced by the direction of the water jets under the toilet rim.

As in politics, the spin is manufactured.

( Don't check this out at home, kids.....the powerful vortex just might dye your hair blue.)

Krasnodar, defender of State mediocrity and part-time ICBM technician.

My Dear Comrade Krasnodar,

For you, I just made a great sacrifice. I used my toilet. It's one of those really crappy (remember Thomas Crapper?) toilets that the building codes require today. All the water streams run vertically down the inside of the toilet. There's one "jet" if you could call it that near the bottom located at approximately five o'clock aiming at approximately 11:00 O'clock in a way that one would expect to generate a clockwise spin, and guess what? Mine spins clockwise. Now I know why I'm a KOOK. All these years, I've been using a Right Wing Toilet. No wonder I have to spend so much time in the Gulag (where I also spend a lot of time using the counter-clockwise toilets) in the futile attempts to purge myself of thought crimes (and indigestible beets). It's enough to drive a man to drink Vodka. But then I vomit into the toilet and have to watch the counter-clockwise spin (in the Gulag toilet) when I flush. All this leaves me with an empty feeling. But I'm thankful that I at least have a toilet in my Gulag cell rather than the chamber pot that used to be there, which also had to double as a soup pot.
I wonder which way the toilet spins in the GoreMobile? Surely it must be lefty-loosey rather than righty-tighty.

--KOOK

As an old farm boy, I hasten to point out that it is CALVES (not cows) who have only the INSTINCT to suck on things. For example, a calf feeding bucket-



I did go look at that news story, and the judge was a city-slicker doofus.

Calves have no brains whatsoever, so it is impossible for them to be "confused". They have only the instinct to suck. They also have the instinct to walk, which a new calf does within an hour of being born.

Us farm boys also knew that calves are born with a mouth full of SHARP TEETH. And they do chew on momma quite a bit-



So some bright ideas a guy might have might not work out to be a swell idea. (If you get my general drift).


(I suppose now Google is going to toss a fit about showing bare naked teats here again.

Komrade Kook.....I'd bet that in the GoreMobile, there is no spin..........
It's contents take the fastest way out : straight down .....much like his agenda.

Vladimir_Scratchanitch wrote:Calves have no brains whatsoever, so it is impossible for them to be "confused". They have only the instinct to suck. They also have the instinct to walk, which a new calf does within an hour of being born.

Us farm boys also knew that calves are born with a mouth full of SHARP TEETH. And they do chew on momma quite a bit-

Uuhh... So sorry to point this out Comrade but calves are not born with a full set of sharp teeth. Suckling does not require teeth, and the front teeth don't come until later... and cows never develop top teeth. If the calf gets too aggressive, mama gives a gentle swat with a rear hoof and she would never let her tits get like that. Your image looks like a poorly cared for machine milked dairy cow.

Now that I'm finished being a dork -

Comrade Shovel, I hear Christie only watches Hannity and listens to Savage hence his disposition...

Comrade Whoopie,

"Why go out for milk when you have a cow at home?"

When you have a cow at home, why would you want to drink milk? Schlitz beer is the only answer for such co-habitation... just sayin...

Krasnodar, I DENOUNCE YOU FOR MAKING ME WALK UP STAIRS TO VERIFY THE ROTATION MY TOILET FLUSHES!

Commissar_Elliot, Surely the tax paying citizens of Camden and New Brunswick are scratching their entitled heads as to how this could have happened. Does his middle name also start with a "C"? Dunno, but, I feel comfortable referring to this so called Governor as the "C word". Do you not!?

Most Litigatiousness Comrade Kook, I only know my toilet water spins and the bad things go bye bye. Will that hold water in court?

And-

As if you thought I forgot the most loyal and manicured Leninka and Frau P...

This case is driven not by a compassion for the animal, but by bigotry of the hegemonic bourgeois class, and is meant to stop progress and civil liberties by imposing and prolonging the archaic rule of the monospeciist dogma.

We already supported the case of Bryan Hathaway on the Cube, as one of the most important social justice fights of our time. I guess it's time to launch a new petition:

PETITION:

To: All People Who Believe In Progress

A caring and loving relationship with a consenting animal is a constitutional right of every American regardless of ethnic, religious, or economic background.

New Jersey police officer Robert Melia Jr. has always been on the forefront of progressive struggle for the liberation of inanimate objects, plants, animals, and household appliances. His selfless devotion to fighting speciism in our society has led him to be brutally persecuted, tortured, and incarcerated - all for a laughable "crime" of "sexual gratification with a silly calf." The bigoted ruling class is once again making him the whipping boy of their own suppressed anxieties, fantasies, and desires.

As if the judges, the persecutors, and the police have never had sexual fantasies as they themselves petted a farm animal or neighbor's dog, or fed guppies in a fish tank, or handled a toaster? I know I do - just as every other broadminded human being on planet Earth!

Every generation should have a moral assignment, and one of ours should be justice for Robert Melia Jr.!

Free Melia and all prisoners of conscience!

Long live our collective commitment to sexual liberation of all living and inanimate objects!

Sincerely,

The Undersigned

Comrade Buffoon wrote:Uuhh... So sorry to point this out Comrade but calves are not born with a full set of sharp teeth. Suckling does not require teeth, and the front teeth don't come until later... and cows never develop top teeth. If the calf gets too aggressive, mama gives a gentle swat with a rear hoof and she would never let her tits get like that. Your image looks like a poorly cared for machine milked dairy cow.

Now that I'm finished being a dork

OK. Now that I know there's someone else who knows something about cows, I will have to be more technically correct- Calves develop front incisor teeth in lower jaw in about a month. Cattle have a upper pad in front, not teeth.

And the cow udder picture is the damage caused by freezing. But it looked close enough to a calf-chewed teat to illustrate what I was talking about and I couldn't find a picture of chewed on teats.

No, the cows do not "gently swat" a calf when they bite. They kick that calf pretty hard, usually by bringing their rear leg up under the calf's jaw. Usually right after being bit or the calf butting momma in the udder too hard.

Oh.. added point. When a calf starts chewing on the teats too much, that's about the time momma weans him.

Free The Wisconsin Four!

I was wondering when Hathaway would be mentioned.

Vladimir_Scratchanitch wrote:

Comrade Buffoon wrote:Uuhh... So sorry to point this out Comrade but calves are not born with a full set of sharp teeth. Suckling does not require teeth, and the front teeth don't come until later... and cows never develop top teeth. If the calf gets too aggressive, mama gives a gentle swat with a rear hoof and she would never let her tits get like that. Your image looks like a poorly cared for machine milked dairy cow.

Now that I'm finished being a dork

OK. Now that I know there's someone else who knows something about cows, I will have to be more technically correct- Calves develop front incisor teeth in lower jaw in about a month. Cattle have a upper pad in front, not teeth.

And the cow udder picture is the damage caused by freezing. But it looked close enough to a calf-chewed teat to illustrate what I was talking about and I couldn't find a picture of chewed on teats.

No, the cows do not "gently swat" a calf when they bite. They kick that calf pretty hard, usually by bringing their rear leg up under the calf's jaw. Usually right after being bit or the calf butting momma in the udder too hard.

Oh.. added point. When a calf starts chewing on the teats too much, that's about the time momma weans him.

And ma gub'ment weans around the same time...

NAMCLA "North American Man/Cow Love Association" I'm thinking Czar material

ThePeoplesComrade wrote:NAMCLA "North American Man/Cow Love Association" I'm thinking Czar material

I fear there's a radio personality in (Chicago? Detroit?) who might take issue with the "ManCow" element of your Czarist proposal. However, since he does satire, how could he complain?

--KOOK

This is a test... this is only a test. If this had been an actual emergency, you would have been informed of which bovine FEMA kamp to report to in your area. This is only a test.

Colonel 7.62 wrote:Comrades! Animal lovers! Progressives and anti gunners! Rejoice!

Uh huh, Colonel, just as I suspected! Now I suppose there will be an (*ahhhrrrrrmmmm*) little calf party™ at some historical cow pasture in 1894?

We will be watching the wormhole, comrade.

Comrade Buffoon wrote:Looks like the vile Governor of much girth Chris Christie (who just doesn't like us group think types) has ousted this most progressive minded judge!

I guess we can add cow molester to the list of things Gov. Christie has little patience for. This man must be stopped!

For comic relief, a pic of the progressive cow lover and his wifey.

Cowfuckerandspouse.jpg

One could only wonder why he would stray...

What's that dress his bourgeois wife is wearing, a Moo-Moo?
I got a mirrion of 'em komrades! I here arr week! Don't forget to tip your waitress!

/PROG OFF - folks, I'm an escapee from the Garden State. When I moved to FLorida ten years ago I told all my family and friends to not expect me to come a-visiting unless it was for a wedding or a funeral.

That state has to be in the top five list of Most Effed Up US States. The all-pervasive anti-gun laws are a pernicious program of liberal oppression. Example - if you want to buy a handgun you must first get what is called a long-gun purchasers permit. It grudgingly allows you to buy rifles and shotguns. You must go to the police chief of your local town, city, borough, township and cravenly beg for the paperwork to apply for said permit. You get fingerprinted like a common criminal and background-investigated by the layabout slugabed shirkaday chair-moisteners infesting the po-po's detective squad. But wait, there's more! If the police chief turns out to be a an anti-gun Libtard - like the police chief in Egg Harbor Township - you a) get obstructed in your quest for the paperwork and b) if you miraculously surmount the paperwork hurdle, you c) wind up waiting weeks, months, years before the police chief can no longer sit on your application whereupon he capriciously & illegally makes up a bullshit excuse to deny your application.

The EHT police chief is a jack-booted thug and runs a corrupt police department full of power-mad womanizing boozehounds.

But I digress.

The next step in your interminable quest to actually buy a damn handgun is to go back to the po-po chief, kao-tao and beg for a handgun purchasers permit. Check it yo - YOU NEED ONE HANDGUN PERMIT FOR EACH HANDGUN THAT YOU WANT TO BUY.

Is it any wonder there are never any gunshows in New Joizy?

One last thing, I once suffered a break-in & theft at my crib. I had good reason to suspect an ex-tenant. When the layabout sluggards at the po-po sent someone to investigate, guess who they sent? Detectives with fingerprint gear? NO. THey sent a rookie patrolman! I knew who the kid's family were! They were a bunch of damn carpetbagging Shoobies that had moved down to South Jersey, probably to flee from the stench of rancid hoagies and cheesesteaks.

But I digress.

This punk does a cursory look-around, overlooking evidence that a short-bus rider couldn't miss. But when he sees my puny collection of shotguns, rifles and pistols (8 total), he recoiled in horror and made a derogatory comment about my "arsenal". I'd finally had it with this sanctimonious Shoobie and told him if he was going to criticize my hobby and do crappy job of investigating, then he could damn well get out of my house. I knew this punk well enough that I knew he & daddy were golfers. I said if my guns were an arsenal then that means his damned golf clubs were an arsenal too and he should be restricted to just one club in his bag. He scoffed at that - I said every club in your bag fulfills a unique purpoose. He said yeah. I said "each of my guns serves a unique purpose - one is a target pistol, another is a home defense pistol, one shotgun is for deerhunting, another shotgun is for waterfowling, the black powder rifle is for black powder deer season, the the .22 rifle is for short-range target shooting, the .243 rifle is for medium-range target shooting and the 7MM Mag is for long-range target shooting. Ya got a problem with that, buddy?" Officer Shoobie slunk away with his tail between his legs. I sincerely hope that Gov Christie pardons the guy who got 7 years jailtime for unintentionally violating an arcane and difficult-to-comply-with bullshit gun law. KJI

Kim Jong Illin' wrote:

Comrade Buffoon wrote:Looks like the vile Governor of much girth Chris Christie (who just doesn't like us group think types) has ousted this most progressive minded judge!

I guess we can add cow molester to the list of things Gov. Christie has little patience for. This man must be stopped!

For comic relief, a pic of the progressive cow lover and his wifey.

Cowfuckerandspouse.jpg

One could only wonder why he would stray...

What's that dress his bourgeois wife is wearing, a Moo-Moo?
I got a mirrion of 'em komrades! I here arr week! Don't forget to tip your waitress!

If ever there a case for implementing a bhurka law, she would be it...

Kim "Long Dong" Jong Illin' I see you know Jersey well. I spent many a day as a young lad around Egg Harbor and Barnegat Light fishing off the breakwater. I was careful never to spend more than a weekend there before retreating to the safety and freedom of America, just West of the PA State line.